Murder, Sex, Sex Scandals, Trials

Humping Halts Homicide Trial

“I’ve wanted you since the DNA expert voir dire.”

Murder trials are stressful. Most people soldier through it. Some develop quirky regimes to keep their mind clear. Some learn how to breathe better. More just develop solid poker faces. But a pair of court staff members found an alternative method of stress relief: they started boning in court. Or at least in the room adjoining the courtroom.

I guess they weren’t interested in the prosecutor’s summation. This is what happens when you don’t let people keep their smartphones in court. Would a rousing round of 2048 in the courtroom have really been as distracting as a round of 69 right next to it?

Just when you thought Ally McBeal was too far-fetched, something like this comes along….

The trial of Yassin Mahmod for the murder of a homeless man in Genoa, Italy was in its final stages. The prosecutor had just started her summation when the following transpired (per the translated transcript):

PROSECUTOR: The government has presented a lot of evidence in this case, but there are really only a few simple questions to answer. First, was the victim indeed murdered with this 7-inch serrated knife?

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: YES!

PROSECUTOR: Um, OK. Second, were the police able to pull one and only one set of fingerprints off this knife?

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Oh, God, YES!

PROSECUTOR: That’s odd.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Just keep doing what you’re doing!

PROSECUTOR: Huh. OK. And where is the man who matches this set of fingerprints?

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Right there, just right there!

Or maybe not, but strange sounds coming from behind the frosted glass of the nearby office did interrupt the summation, per the Daily Mail:

A court source said: ‘The summing up had just begun when the judge heard strange noises, looked up and saw the outline of two naked bodies.

‘When everyone looked it was quite clear what was going on – they were having sex.

‘They obviously thought because the glass was dark they would not be seen.

‘The judge suspended the case and had the two people clawed away.

‘They are both court admin staff but they have not been named. It’s a bit delicate as one of them is married.’

How does that make it delicate? This is Italy! This is a country that had a porn star in parliament. Not a retired porn star — an actively filming porn star in parliament. They had a prime minister abuse his powers to help his underaged prostitute. Having an affair should be pretty standard.

As you consider this mess, remember that this is the country that thinks America should send Amanda Knox back for her 16th trial or whatever. Yeah, pardon us if we’re not too enthusiastic about that right now. You can’t trust a legal system spending its time punishing staff for boning during murder trials. You can only trust systems like ours where we punish people for helping wrongly accused innocent people. Get your priorities straight.

Still, kudos to Judge Anna Ivaldi for upholding some standards: the only people who get f**ked in a courtroom are the defendants.

Italian murder trial is stopped after judge spots court staff having SEX [Daily Mail]

Earlier: Court Clerk Helps Free Innocent Man and Gets Fired For Her Effort

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