Sex

Idiot Buys Penis Enlarger Online And Receives Magnifying Glass

Oh, this is rich. Some poor half-man who undoubtedly owns several pairs of X-Ray specs and a colony of Sea Monkeys decided to trust the dubious promises of an online retailer promising to turn him into a latter day John Holmes. Obviously this purchase was never going to work out for him, but this story has a much more comical ending: the retailer sent him a magnifying glass.

Ahahahahahahaha.

While the newspaper refers to the retailer as a scam artist, it seems to me they sent the only possible product that could deliver on their claims.

And there’s a lawyer involved in this story and you’ll never guess what his name is….

This story comes to us from Malaysia. The guy looking to build his personal Petronas Tower is identified only as Ong and per The Star, he paid RM450 for this magical device, which works out to about $139.

MCA Public Service and Complaint Bureau chairman Datuk Seri Michael Chong said Tuesday that the disgruntled customer, known only as Ong from Seri Kembangan, had paid RM450 for the penis enlarger.

“When he received the package, he was shocked to find a magnifying glass inside.

“The instructions that came with the package merely read ‘Do not use in sunlight’,” he said.

Do not use in sunlight. God I want to work for this company. The glass itself was funny, but taking the time to print the critical safety warning is a stroke of genius.

Anyway, since Ong’s dong is not getting any bigger, he took his complaint to the government. Unfortunately, a local lawyer explains that there’s not much to be done:

Lawyer Alex Kok…

Wait, who?

Lawyer Alex Kok said that unsatisfied customers who wished to sue these scammers would find it difficult to do so due to the dubious nature of the business.

“It is especially hard if there is no proof of purchase, such as receipts.

“We wouldn’t know who to sue or where and how to sue them,” he added.

At some point the person writing this article said, “I need a lawyer’s input” and went out and found a guy named Kok and baited him into saying a suit would be “especially hard.” Bravo.

Man buys penis enlarger, gets magnifying glass instead [The Star]

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