Contract Attorneys, Craigslist, Job Searches, Weirdness

Former Biglaw Big Shot Seeks Work, How He Did It Will Amaze You.

If clichés are to be believed, confidence is extremely important in the business world. And speaking in broad stereotypes, confidence (or at least faking it) is something that lawyers are supposed to possess. So I suppose it really shouldn’t be shocking that an attorney advertising for work would reek of smugness, but actually seeing it? Well, all I can think of is AC/DC.

Not content to scour Craigslist for available job listings, one contract attorney has taken things a step further. This intrepid individual has posted an ad seeking work as a contract attorney. And the results? They’re spectacular….

This tip comes to us from Miami… because of course it does. And I suppose the concept is sound enough. Why not take to the internet and be proactive in your job hunt? Only this guy (the Miami legal market’s answer to George Hamilton) leads with a picture.

Nothing says legal genius (or even competent contract attorney) like a tan, sunglasses, and palm trees. And then the real boasting starts.

VERY HIGHLY CREDENTIALED AND EXPERIENCED ATTORNEY serving the Tri-County area is available for contract legal services to other attorneys.

-I was first in my graduating class at the University of Florida Law School and a commencement speaker. I also was selected as a Rhodes Scholarship nominee, a member of the Law Review, and a member of Phi Beta Kappa. After law school I practiced for 18 years at Greenberg Traurig (including a stint as head of the Fort Lauderdale litigation department).

To be fair, these qualifications do seem pretty good. But if anyone is looking to hire a contract attorney with that much experience, are they really looking on Craigslist? I may not know too much about the Miami legal market (or really anything about Miami that wasn’t covered by Will Smith’s song), but wouldn’t they be going through a headhunter or at least a staffing agency to find someone with this much experience?

Our Legal George Hamilton then lists all the things he is good at. And it is quite a list, he even has podcasts so you can listen to him speak. But the most befuddling line is yet to come.

I am proficient in Word, E-Filing, and E-Service and I am a rocket researcher and word processor.

Rocket researcher? I don’t even know what to do with that one. As nothing else in his post seem to indicate an aerospace law focus, I am going to assume it is a misguided attempt at humor/slang.

But at least this guy seems to have an understanding of the realities of being a contract attorney, where no task is too demeaning as long as you get paid.

PLEASE DO NOT CONSIDER ME OVERQUALIFIED FOR ANY ASSIGNMENTS. I will be practicing for many years to come. COMPENSATION IS FULLY NEGOTIABLE.

And we all know the dangers of being considered overqualified.

To see the listing in its full glory, click onto the next page.

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