Food, Rudeness

'I'm A Lawyer' Threat Ends In Internet Humiliation

A lawyer tried to bully a non-takeout restaurant into sending him takeout because, of course, "I'm a lawyer." The restaurant disagreed and posted an epic takedown to the Internets...

By  
on

Some lawyers have this crazy idea that the hoi polloi are in such awe of attorneys that they bend to your will upon the very mention of a Juris Doctor. It’s one thing to throw around your credentials arguing with a landlord or something like that — that’s an actual legal dispute. It’s quite another to be the person who injects their admission to the bar into every unreasonable demand. “I demand an aisle seat! I’m a lawyer!” There are probably a significant number of students who chose law school in hopes of being able to tell off someone with the threat of “I’m a lawyer!” And that’s incredibly sad.

To rain on the parade of these douchetards, regular people understand that there are a whole lot of lawyers out there and that most of them are middle managers at best and paper-pushers at worst. They aren’t really trembling over lawyer threats.

Which this attorney learned when he tried to bully a non-takeout restaurant into sending him takeout because, of course, he’s a lawyer. The restaurant disagreed and posted an epic takedown to the Internets…

Voltaire is a restaurant in Kansas City. It serves French food. I don’t know why you would eat anything in Kansas City but burnt ends on bun, but to each their own. Anyway, a woman going by Sonal B called to order some takeout from the sit-down establishment because she and her husband were working in a nearby conference room. Given that they are not a Gates and explicitly flag that they do not serve takeout, the restaurant refused. Then Sonal’s husband got involved:

A Yelper, known simply as Sonal B, got upset after Voltaire would not allow her to place a to-go order for her and her husband — who were at business meeting across the street. Sonal B’s “lawyer” husband eventually got involved, and insisted upon emphasizing that he was indeed a “lawyer,” perhaps assuming that would affect the situation.

According to Sonal B, her husband told the manager that he was going to “post a Yelp review about the way the restaurant” was treating them — the ultimate threat — to which the manager hilariously replied: “Are you a grown man and an adult?” Sonal B goes on to expound upon how well-traveled she is: She has been to New York and, according to her, restaurants in NYC would have sold her take-out.

Ah, Yelp. The last refuge of the difficult customer. Putting aside how lame it is to use the threat in the first place, this is a perfect distillation of why you also should never drop the L-bomb over a petty dispute, because ultimately you end up having to say: “I’m a lawyer! What am I going to do about it, you ask? I’m… I’m… going to write a nasty letter on the Internet.” Bluff fail.

Sponsored

Anyway, Sonal B did post a review to Yelp. One-star. In part, she said:

Yes, Jamie, we are grown adults, and we do not do business with people who behave like you do.

We regularly travel to NYC and eat at a variety of restaurants, which are more than happy to accommodate people by packing food to go. This restaurant thinks they’re too good for their customers. They will soon learn that if you ignore your customers, they’re going to start ignoring you. I would not even give this place one star after this experience, and I’m dismayed by their unprofessional and arrogant behavior.

Rather than leave this disgruntled reviewer alone, Voltaire owner Wes Gartner decided to fire back. And the response was epic. Easily the funniest thing to come out of Voltaire since Candide. Especially the part where he takes aim square at the “I’m a lawyer!” threat.

It was made REPEATEDLY clear in the conversation with your husband that he is a lawyer. Let me provide the following analogy/role reversal…it may assist in clarifying your request.

YOU: I want to hire you to handle my divorce.

ME: But, I’m a tax lawyer.

YOU: I don’t care…I want you to handle my divorce.

ME: Sorry, but I don’t practice that form of law.

YOU: Just handle my divorce, I’ll pay you…it will be fine.

ME: I don’t feel comfortable providing my services as a divorce lawyer, as I am a tax lawyer. You won’t receive the service you are wanting or that I am willing to provide.

YOU: Well, I travel to NYC often, and in NYC, Tax lawyers handle my divorce litigation all the time. I don’t know what the problem is. I’ve told you I’m a chef, right?

ME: Well, that’s nice sir, but I really can’t help you. It goes against my business practice.

YOU: If you don’t represent me in my divorce, I’m going to post it all over the [most frequented social media review of lawyers] that you refused to provide me with the service I requested, and make baseless allegations about how you are very pretentious, arrogant and unprofessional. I will also try to prevent you from getting any additional business by damning you on said social media platform. Now will you represent me?

ME: I don’t take kindly to threats.

Thanks for your feedback. We will let you know if we decide in the future to practice divorce law, I mean, provide “take-out” food.

The “most frequented social media review of lawyers” may not be Above the Law proper, but I’m pretty sure this restauranteur would consider this tale appearing in our pages to fulfill the gist of the analogy.

Sponsored

If you want to read the full Yelp post and the full response, and you know you want to, I’ve reproduced them on the next page.

1 2Next »

Topics

, , , , , ,