In-House Counsel, Women's Issues

Becky Halstead – A Quintessential Leader

Becky Halstead, the first woman in West Point history to graduate and achieve a promotion to general officer and the first woman in United States history to serve as a commanding general in combat, thoroughly impressed the audience at the National Association of Women Lawyers’ Tenth Annual General Counsel Institute (“GCI 10’) that was held on November 6th - 7th at the InterContinental Times Square in New York City.

By Mimi B. MacDonald  
on

Becky Halstead, the first woman in West Point history to graduate and achieve a promotion to general officer and the first woman in United States history to serve as a commanding general in combat, thoroughly impressed the audience at the National Association of Women Lawyers’ Tenth Annual General Counsel Institute (“GCI 10’) that was held on November 6th – 7th at the InterContinental Times Square in New York City. Halstead set forth the three “Cs” of leadership – calm in chaos, courage, and commitment – and explained that leadership is a choice. Through her leadership experience, Halstead discovered the first person that you must lead is you. This led her to author her internationally-renowned book 24/7: The First Person You Must Lead Is You, a path of lessons in self-leadership that transcend age, gender, race, and profession.

Halstead began her presentation by examining a situation where she felt that she failed as a leader – an examination many leaders would not publically undertake. Specifically, on one occasion while in Balad, Halstead received a telephone call at approximately one o’clock in the morning. It was a chaplain. She advised Halstead that one of her soldiers was at the hospital as a result of his vehicle being hit by an IED that had ball bearings in it, and that some of the ball bearings lodged in the soldier’s brain. The chaplain further advised Halstead that the soldier may not make it. She explained that she was at the hospital with the doctors, the soldier was in a coma, and the doctors were trying to stabilize the soldier for a flight to Germany – but that the prognosis was not good. Halstead asked a seemingly simple question: “Chaplain, should I come over?” The chaplain responded: “No, ma’am. I am here and will monitor the situation through the night and keep you posted. He is in a coma and wouldn’t even know you are here. There’s nothing you can do. Get some sleep.”

Almost as soon as Halstead uttered those five innocuous words, she recognized her first mistake; namely, that should not have placed the burden of the decision of whether to go to the hospital on the chaplain. She was being neither selfless nor available. Halstead recognized her next mistake – not walking over to the hospital that night for what it was, the wrong decision — which would plague her. Halstead knew the soldier would probably not have known who she was or that she was even in the room. She also knew that she could not help the soldier. However, she explained that her focus at that moment should not have been on herself but on her solider. Halstead also learned that it was not just about being a leader to the individual solider, since he was in a coma and truly would not have known she was there, but about those who were trying to heal and minister to the soldier – the chaplain, the doctors, surgeons, and nurses. She was deficient in her role as a leader because she failed to offer encouragement to them.

The soldier survived the night, the flight to Germany, and was successfully transported home to California. What was most remarkable to Halstead was that his company commander, a young captain, used his personal leave to visit his soldier first, before going home to visit his own family. In Halstead’s opinion, the young captain demonstrated far greater selfless service than she had the night the chaplain called because he had done what “was right.”

Halstead explained that one must lead with character and competence and that we should experience a constant struggle between our minds and hearts. The struggle means that we are paying attention to both, which results in coming to the best decisions and actions. We simply worry too much about competence and not enough about character and a good leader is a fusion of both. At the end of the day, it is often easier to make the harder “right” decision than the easier “wrong” decision. Leaders fail when they are too defensive about decisions they have made and actions they have taken. Successful leaders follow a few simple rules: listen first, encourage collegial dialogue, remind everyone that disagreement does not have to equal disrespect, and be a moderator/mediator when necessary to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to participate and contribute.

Precise communication is key. Halstead recounted another “failure” to demonstrate this point. Halstead was scheduled to go to the airport and her driver was running out to get lunch before they departed. He asked: “Ma’am, I’m going to Burger King® to get lunch. Can I pick you up anything.” Halstead replied: “Yes, I would like two plain cheeseburgers. Thanks.” He responded: “Ma’am, are you sure. Just two plain cheeseburgers?” She replied: “Yes, that’s it, two plain cheeseburgers.” With a puzzled look and tone, the soldier asked one more time, “Ma’am, are you sure?” Halstead stated: “Yes, thanks. Go. Just get me two plain cheeseburgers.”

Sponsored

When the driver returned, Halstead got in the back seat of the car, per army protocol, and on the seat was her lunch from Burger King. She unwrapped the first cheeseburger and took a big bite. It did not taste as she expected. She took off the top of the bun and there was nothing on the cheeseburger – it was just meat and cheese. She looked up into the rearview mirror and saw her driver’s eyes were getting bigger and bigger. He knew she was not happy. She put down that cheeseburger and unwrapped the next. Again, it was a plain cheeseburger; meat and cheese. She looked up and said: “There’s nothing on these cheeseburgers!” Without a moment of hesitation, her driver said: “Ma’am, I asked you two times, just two plain cheeseburgers? And you said yes!”

Halstead and her driver looked at each other through the rear-view mirror; both frustrated. Halstead then broke the silence. “You were going to Burger King. I did not want a Whopper or Junior, or King or Queen, but I at least wanted condiments, dude!”

After a pregnant pause, Halstead admitted: “You know, you gave me exactly what I asked for.” She cracked a smile, as did her driver. Then she continued: “Not so fast. I’m still not happy with what I got!” They both laughed.

Halstead could have responded differently – many leaders would have. After all, she was the boss and she could have been “right.” But what would have been the impact? Would her driver still have wanted to drive for her? Probably not.

Five years later, Halstead received a call from the soldier. He told her that he knew she needed a driver and that he would like to be her driver again. Halstead knew that her driver had just returned to Italy from Afghanistan, and she was about to deploy to Iraq. Halstead told him: “I need a driver, but I can’t do that to you and your family. I know you just returned from Afghanistan.” Undeterred, the solider said he wanted to return to Iraq with her and that his wife and kids were okay with his decision.

Sponsored

Thus, while the cheeseburger story may seem insignificant, a soldier who was stationed in Italy agreed to be a driver in a war zone – likely because of the leader that Halstead was on the memorable “cheeseburger” day. Halstead admitted her fault in communication rather than blaming her employee. Halstead explained: “Your words matter and your actions speak volumes.” As a leader, you must treat others the way that you want to be treated. Be a mentor, not a tormentor. Be demanding, not demeaning.

Halstead ended her remarks by challenging everyone to commit themselves to their day and to make a difference in someone else’s life. “Don’t be satisfied with today’s success.” And, most importantly, don’t surround yourself by people that look and think exactly as you do. Through diverse backgrounds and opinions, we all have the capacity to be better people.

For more information about Halstead, go to www.beckyhalstead.com or purchase her book 24/7: The First Person You Must Lead is You at www.amazon.com.

For more information about the National Association of Women’s Lawyers, go to www.nawl.org.

Topics

, ,