Biglaw Firm Issues Color-Coded Uniforms For Young Lawyers (Not An April Fools' Joke)

What if a firm designed its swag to segregate lawyers by rank? Because that's what one Biglaw behemoth is doing.

No doubt everyone has some piece of firm-branded apparel, probably distributed at the holiday party. Everyone gets the same light jacket with the firm’s name embroidered over the left breast and you wear it around the office. It’s supposedly a morale-booster: everyone from the most senior partner to the lowliest paralegal is decked out in the same swag. “You’re all on the same team!”

But what if a firm went the other direction with it. What if a firm designed its swag to segregate lawyers by rank? Because that’s what one Biglaw behemoth is doing.

Sort of, “You’re all distinct cogs on our team!” Soak up the morale.

This would seem like a cheap jab at the soul-suckingly hierarchical nature of Biglaw firms, but it turns out the headline is no joke: Clifford Chance really is introducing color-coded uniforms for its cub lawyers based on their experience. The firm held a contest for aspiring designers to create the new hoodies the firm plans to give out to its lawyers of the future.

Seriously. As if the firm is the deck of a frigging aircraft carrier or as Legal Cheek suggests, Star Trek. You’ve got to be able to find an expendable Redshirt from 100 yards, right? Well, it’s just as important to locate a trainee lawyer from afar if you need to send them to Ceti Alpha V, or the cold storage location.

Perhaps the point is to reward employees for reaching the next level. Like becoming a Webelos or something. Except we already have a system of celebrating graduation in the legal profession. It’s called money.

Well, let’s have a look at these things:

Sponsored

Oh, the earlier Star Trek reference undersold the design. The Intelligent Aid folks aren’t far off of a Wrath of Khan load out. Clifford Chance is offering the hoodies in a more traditional design, but if you had a chance to look like you’re from the 23rd Century, why would you turn that down?

You can see all the designs on their Facebook page. And while several of the designs offered a variety of colors and styles, only one explicitly assigned a color to each rank of attorney. So that’s obviously the one they chose.

For those unfamiliar with the British system: the First Year Springboard Scheme is a one-week immersion program for folks trying to figure out if they want a career in the law; Vacation Schemes are more akin to summer associate work, where prospective lawyers work for several weeks, and; Training Contracts are the first step on the road to full-time employment. Meanwhile, Intelligent Aid is a “CV Blind” program that allows students to secure a summer associate gig based on an essay competition alone — basically the goal is to give students who lack the upper crust résumé a shot at an elite internship.

So obviously visually marking them off at the firm is a tremendously good idea. As one Legal Cheek commenter noted:

“in a move that may be frowned upon by diversity experts”

No shit Sherlock. Short of tattooing the word ‘Poor Person’ on their heads, it is difficult to think of anything more offensive.

Sponsored

Clifford Chance only sought hoodies for its youth, but it’s so excited about the winning design that it claims to be rolling them out “firm-wide.” Not sure what that means, but we certainly hope it’s a harbinger of bringing full-time attorneys and staff into the “colour” scheme.

Legal Cheek wonders if a similar colour system will apply to qualified lawyers, with partners perhaps wearing a regal purple shade, associates a dynamic racing green and trainees a high-vis luminous yellow so that they can be immediately clocked for urgent photocopying duties.

Please do this. And make the outfits mandatory. We can’t wait until Clifford Chance’s Canary Wharf office looks like a Bond villain’s lair.

Clifford Chance lawyers prepare to swap their suits for hoodies that are colour-coded by rank [Legal Cheek]
Clifford Chance Graduates UK [Facebook]