Federal Judges, Technology

The Epic Tale Of Judge Moss And His iPhone

The distance one Federal Judge will go to for his iPhone...

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Federal judges: they’re just like us! In today’s age of mobile technology, most of us have a story about losing our phones at the most inopportune times. I remember one time, after a few too many happy-hour drinks with co-workers downtown, I got home only to realize my beloved iPhone was nowhere to be found. Using the handy-dandy “Find My iPhone” feature, I determined it was still at the last bar of the evening. A $30 round-trip cab ride and a generous tip for the bartender who kept it safe and all was well in my world. U.S. District Judge Randolph Moss has a very similar story, except significantly more awesome.

Judge Moss was formally sworn in to the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia on Friday (though he was confirmed and began serving in November), and it was on that occasion that former WilmerHale partner Seth Waxman regaled folks with the tale of Judge Moss’ lost iPhone. It was about two years ago on a skiing trip in Utah, and it was a brand new iPhone — even if he’d wanted to immediately replace it he likely couldn’t. Like any good perfectionist, he just could not let it go. Per the National Law Journal:

The next morning at breakfast, Moss approached Waxman with a question. Was it a “totally insane idea” to return to the mountain to look for the phone? The previous night, Moss confirmed through a “Find My Phone” app that the iPhone was still out there, somewhere, on the Utah mountain. It was snowing, Waxman said, but in a show of friendship and “middle-aged male immaturity,” he agreed to go.

Now this story is starting to sound like a buddy comedy… or a horror movie. Two law firm partners trek up a mountain in the the snow in search of a lost phone. Whether it ends in laughter or bloodshed I’d pay the price of admission.

Moss and Waxman made it back to the mountain, enlisted the help of two members of the ski patrol — Moss’ finest moment of oral advocacy, Waxman noted — and began to creep through the snow. Moss, using Waxman’s wife’s iPad, tracked the location of the phone and its dwindling battery life. The group listened for a beep the phone would emit until its battery died.

Let me get this straight — two old white men on a fool’s errand on the side of a mountain manage to pick up additional people to join them? And none of them are Sherpas trained in mountain life? (Serious note, consider helping out the relief efforts in Nepal.) Unless Moss’s “oral advocacy” started with the initials “B” and “J” I am at a loss to even imagine how he pulled this off. I guess that’s the kind of grit and determination it takes to make it onto the federal bench.

And then, one of the ski patrollers thought he heard a beep. They began to dig with their skis. There was the phone, its battery now dead, buried beneath more than two feet of snow.

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But… but… but… does the phone still work? I can’t be the only one with this question. Two feet of snow seems like a lot of potential water damage, which is not covered by Applecare — a lesson we’ve all learned the hard way. This is the least satisfying ending to a story since we learned the passengers on Oceanic Flight 815 were really in purgatory the whole damn time.

I guess even if the old iPhone in a bag of rice trick didn’t save Judge Moss’s phone, at least he got a great story out of the experience. That and his brand-new federal judgeship should keep him comforted at night.

A Federal Judge and His Lost iPhone on a Utah Mountain [National Law Journal]

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