Law School Cuts Graduation Events To Protect Profits

Giving graduates the cold shoulder may spell the beginning of the end for this school.

Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you’re the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.
Mr. Burns: Yes, but I’d trade it all for a little more.

If there’s one topic in the industry perfectly captured by the above exchange, it’s the saga of Charleston School of Law — a private school founded in 2003 that turned millions in profits before its founders saw even more cash in the offing and tried to secure a massive buyout from the InfiLaw system. Since then regulators keep nixing the deal and now it’s anyone’s guess what will ever become of poor little Charleston.

Now the two men running the school, multi-millionaires George Kosko and Robert Carr, are grasping for cartoonish levels of cynicism by canceling graduation events. To save a little cash:

The troubled law school’s two-member board cut the traditional post-commencement reception from its budget this year — despite pulling in $25 million in profit from the school between 2010 and 2013. The move has pushed student and alumni groups to take up a collection to cover the cost, said Matt Kelly, president of the Student Bar Association.

The scary part of this paragraph is that it’s slightly misleading. Charleston didn’t “pull[] in $25 million in profit” those years, “the two-member board” sucked that much profit out of the school those years. Let that sink in. A school that had $25 million in profits — not revenue, but profits — to hand out and that continues to charge students over $100,000 each for their legal education, has balked at dropping a few thousand dollars for a catered lunch.

You’re Charleston! This is the last meal these kids will enjoy before you release them to a lifetime of underemployment! I know it’s difficult for plutocrats to look outside themselves, but you owe them this event.

The board members whine that declining enrollment and the turmoil surrounding the avaricious and boneheaded earnest attempt to sell the school to InfiLaw have forced them into eliminating the outdoor reception that usually follows graduation. Note that we’re not talking about a banquet where they eat Beluga caviar off naked tax professors — it’s a damn picnic. The SBA and the local bar association are kicking in to raise the $6,000 they need to hold a simple replacement event. Check between the cushions, guys.

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Kosko and Carr aren’t even limiting their nickel and diming to class-wide events:

[SBA President Matt] Kelly said Kosko and Carr also have decided not to induct any students from the Class of 2015 into the Forensics Club, a group that honors students who have demonstrated leadership, professionalism, public service and academic commitment. This marks the only time since the first class graduated in 2007 that a student hasn’t been inducted, he said.

This appears to be no more than an award announced at graduation. That means these numbnuts aren’t even willing to spring for a couple of plaques to hand out at graduation! The only benefit for a graduating 3L is résumé line item. They don’t even need the plaque — just put a star next to their name in the graduation program. If Charleston’s even making programs this year, which I guess is a big if.

In fairness, the school brought on roughly 60 fewer students than it did in the heyday that brought in the class of 2014. That’s a missing $2.3 million right there and it’s certainly nothing to sneeze at. But for a school used to clearing way more than that in pure profits per year, it’s not like anyone’s starving. Except the graduates.

No, it’s a matter of priorities. For Kosko and Carr, funding these graduation events out of their profits would be the equivalent of a Biglaw associate buying an Apple Watch. But that’s too much to ask of a couple of guys that a former dean of Charleston has publicly labeled “the embodiment of lucre and malice.”

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Now comes word that the school may not even admit new students next year. Through crocodile tears, Kosko and Carr announced that they “cannot in good faith enroll another class” when “the school is spending more money than is coming in.” The fact that the school is light millions from profit-taking and an InfiLaw management fee doesn’t seem to factor into the statement.

Charleston may be a failing law school right now — shortchanging the graduates and turning away 1Ls certainly doesn’t sound like a recipe for success — and closing up shop may be the right thing to do long-term. What Kosko and Carr should do is wrap-up operations covering the shortfall with the millions in profits they personally collected to ensure every current student gets to graduate with the same dignity as their predecessors. There’s more than enough.

But that’s probably not going to happen. No, like Mr. Burns, the powers behind Charleston appear more than willing to trade the goodwill of their students to pinch out just a little bit more.

Charleston School of Law scales back graduation events [The Post and Courier]
Charleston School of Law may not enroll new students in the fall [The Post and Courier]

Earlier: I Bet You Thought Going To Charleston Law Was Already Rock Bottom