Legal Ethics

Disciplinary Authorities Don't Look Kindly On Threatening To Kill Your Client

Small Penises And Duels -- A Curious Lawyer Fee Dispute.

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Pistols at dawn over a $400 fee! A world where billable hours are a matter of gentlemanly honor! Good times.

But the Illinois disciplinary folks have no respect for the ways of our ancestors. Don’t they remember the most famous Illinois lawyer ever challenged a dude to a sword fight? Kids these days. In any event, they have some serious questions for attorney Donald F. Franz, and filed an amended complaint against Franz on Wednesday. Questions like why he allegedly called his client a “small penis a**hole” and challenged him to a duel.

A duel, as in, “let’s meet somewhere and I’ll shoot at you.” Or more colloquially “paying your respects to Alexander Hamilton.” In either case, it’s the civilized way of saying, “I’m prepared to kill you and would really appreciate it if you’d give me the opportunity.”

Law360 has the 411:

Donald F. Franz agreed to an oral fee arrangement with Mike Rutkowski, his client in a property tax dispute, then when the client questioned his methods for calculating the resulting bill, Franz barraged the man with insults and threats.

“Respondent sent Rutkowski a series of e­mail and text messages that stated that respondent had unilaterally raised the claimed fee, first to $500 and then to $600; threatened to sue Rutkowski to collect the claimed fee; insulted Rutkowski’s manhood and choice of automobiles; and referred to Rutkowski as a ‘small penis a–hole,’” Larkin said.

Apparently Franz initially billed Rutkowski $400 after he successfully reduced the assessed value of Rutkowski’s property from from $71,739 to $70,000. The client thought the agreed fee was supposed to represent one-third of annual tax savings, not one-third of the assessment reduction, and that there earned the ire of the disciplinary authorities.

And that’s before this gem:

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The administrator said that Franz did say that fee agreements were not required “in these matters and not between men. My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner.”

“Time, place and manner.” I see what you did there.

But that’s not all! In another matter, apparently free of potential honor killings and dick jokes, Franz is accused of trying to drop a client immediately before trial, and then, after the judge denied this ludicrous withdrawal, tried to charge the client a giant retainer lest Franz conveniently “refuse to appear in court.” Yeah… Illinois is pretty sure you can’t do that.

Franz’s Avvo page reveals that these aren’t the only clients he’s miffed. Outside of one 5-star review, all of his client reviews are of the 1-star variety. Like this one:

Actually came recommended from someone I know and I already have to say that person has a awful sense of what an attorney is suppose to do. NEVER returned calls, has not shared documents he has filed that the defendent has already recieved. 4 messages not returned and will have to probably file a complaint to get my money back. I was told he was inexpensive….because I had little money but i would rather pay twice as much and get better service. You would be better off burning your money.

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Uh oh. You’d best hope these allegations are all false, because otherwise you just impugned Franz’s honor, sirrah! Glove slap baby.

(As always, the full complaint is on the next page. Check it out. Unless you’re some kind of small penis a**hole…)

Client’s Manhood Questioned By Atty In Fee Spat [Law360]

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