Movies, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Television

Standard Of Review: Casting The Supreme Court

Whom would you cast to play our current Supreme Court justices? Arts columnist Harry Graff makes his nominations.

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Last month, we learned that actress Natalie Portman will play United States Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in an upcoming biopic depicting Justice Ginsburg’s struggles as a young attorney to obtain equal rights for women. I hope that this forthcoming film eschews telling Justice Ginsburg’s entire life story; I much prefer biopics that tell a more limited story (like Selma) to those that attempt to tackle the subject’s whole life (like Ray).

In any event, while I am not totally sold on Natalie Portman in this role, the news got me thinking of how Hollywood should cast biopics of the other eight current Supreme Court justices. Below is my elevator pitch for these eight hypothetical biopics, including who should play them and the story the film should tell (though, admittedly, the last three aren’t exactly “biopics”):

Clarence Thomas – This is by far the easiest one on this list, as Justice Thomas was famously accused of sexual harassment by Anita Hill, a scandal that dominated the news upon his appointment to the Court by President George H.W. Bush in 1991. HBO is supposedly developing a TV movie about the scandal starring Wendell Pierce and Kerry Washington (who is no stranger to Scandal) as Hill, but this is fake pitch, so I will ignore that fact. As much as I loved Pierce on The Wire, there is no question in my mind that Andre Braugher should play a young Thomas. Regular readers of this column (of which there are literally more than one) will know that I have suggested Braugher for numerous hypothetical roles, and playing Thomas would be right in his wheelhouse. As much as I love Braugher on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, it would be great to see him back in a dramatic role. The only downside would be that in playing the famously taciturn Thomas, Braugher would not have much opportunity to show off his fantastic baritone voice. I frankly can’t think of anyone better than Washington to play Hill, so let’s keep her in that role.

Sonia Sotomayor – As a huge baseball fan, my favorite fact about Justice Sotomayor is that she presided over Silverman v. Major League Baseball Player Relations Comm., Inc., in which then-S.D.N.Y. Judge Sotomayor issued a preliminary injunction against Major League Baseball, preventing the MLB from using replacement players, and effectively ending the notorious 1994-95 MLB players’ strike, which was one of the worst things that has ever happened in the history of mankind. The film will depict the effect of the strike on the country, as baseball-loving children like me had their dreams dashed by the prospects of a summer without baseball and an October with no World Series. Selenis Leyva (best known as Gloria Mendoza from Orange is the New Black) would make a great Sotomayor (yes, I know Leyva is Cuban and Sotomayor is of Puerto Rican descent; I wish there were more notable Latina actresses!), as the crusading judge that ended this horrible strike and brought sanity back to the United States.

John Roberts – This group needs some comedies, so I am pitching a movie about Chief Justice Roberts’s bungling of the administration of President Obama’s oath of office in January 2009 (in which Roberts – apparently not a Journey fan – said the word “faithfully” out of order). I imagine this film as a political satire written and directed by Veep showrunner Armando Iannucci. The film will depict the fallout from the flub, as Chief Justice Roberts and President Obama’s advisors work tirelessly behind the scenes in order to solve this problem and to make sure that Obama is actually President. Given that this is a comedy, I am going to cast Will Ferrell as Chief Justice Roberts. You may roll your eyes, but Ferrell proved adept at Beltway satire when he played Bob Woodward in the hilarious and underrated 1999 film Dick. And comedian Jordan Peele should unquestionably play Obama, as he regularly does on his Comedy Central sketch comedy show Key & Peele (of course, just typing this sentence sent me into a Key & Peele YouTube spiral).

Elena Kagan – Justice Kagan is unique in that she is the only current justice who did not previously serve as a federal court judge before being nominated to the Supreme Court. As a result, her biography is much more varied than her fellow justices, especially because she served for several years as the Dean of Harvard Law School. As the Dean, one of her most interesting dilemmas concerned military recruiters on campus.  Kagan had repeatedly criticized the military for their discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, but the Solomon Amendment prevented Harvard Law from receiving certain federal funding if Kagan forbade the military from recruiting on campus.  Kagan first allowed the military to continue recruiting, but after the Solomon Amendment was ruled unconstitutional by the Third Circuit, she forbade the military from using Harvard’s Office of Career Services, though she nevertheless allowed the military to continue recruiting via the student veterans’ group.  After the Supreme Court ruled the Solomon Amendment to be constitutional, Kagan allowed the military full access to the law school. I anticipate that this biopic would be a riveting drama, as Kagan wrestles to find a middle ground between her personal opinions and what is best for the school. As much as it pains me to cast a school’s Dean that isn’t Community’s Jim Rash (#andamovie), I think that Annette Bening would make a fantastic Kagan.

Antonin Scalia – Despite his ideology, many people enjoy Justice Scalia just because he is so darn fun to read and listen to. When I was in law school and saw that an assigned case had a Scalia dissent, I had the same feeling that I now get when I watch television and see that Michelle MacLaren listed in the opening credits as the episode’s director – I knew that I was about to be entertained. Instead of depicting a historical event in Justice Scalia’s life, I think that the Scalia movie should merely be twenty-four hours in his life, a sort of Training Day for the Supreme Court. Elisabeth Moss, fresh off the finale of Mad Men, should play a bright-eyed and bushy tailed clerk who follows Scalia around for the day as he quips about subjects like textualism and opera. I cannot believe I am actually typing this, but I think that Justice Scalia should be played by … Al Pacino. I know, I know, Pacino hasn’t given a truly good performance since (maybe) Insomnia or (possibly) The Insider or (more likely) Donnie Brasco. But Pacino obviously can act, and I think he would be champing at the bit to play the Court’s most outgoing justice. And if Pacino just devolves into “Crazy Pacino” mode (see virtually every movie he has made in the last twenty years), would that be that off-base in a biopic about Justice Scalia?

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Anthony Kennedy – I wanted to pitch at least one biopic about an actual Supreme Court case, and Justice Kennedy wrote the majority opinion in Citizens United, one of the most famous cases of the last ten years. That being said, I am not sure that a movie about campaign finance reform is going to be a box office smash. Therefore, let’s capitalize on the recent trend and make Justice Kennedy into a superhero! By day, Justice Kennedy is the “swing vote” on the Supreme Court, causing 5-4 cases such as Citizens United to be decided either way. But by night he is Swingman, fighting his nemesis Dr. Unanimous, an evil genius hellbent on world homogeneity. Swingman hates homogeneity, as his position as the Court’s “swing vote” is really the only reason he matters. Bruce Dern, who was magnificent in 2013’s Nebraska, would be perfect as Justice Kennedy. Matthew Rhys, who is great on The Americans, needs to be in a movie as soon as possible, so let’s cast him as Dr. Unanimous (though I might have just ruined Rhys’s career, as this movie will likely only be popular with the very disparate groups of Supreme Court enthusiasts and stoners).

Stephen Breyer – Justice Breyer may be an accomplished jurist, but his Wikipedia page is more boring than the Dorne storyline this season on Game of Thrones. I honestly cannot find anything on there worth making a film out of. Therefore, I am going to suggest that we do what Hollywood seems to do to solve every problem these days – hire Chris Pratt. Think that a film about the publication of Breyer’s books Breaking the Vicious Circle: Toward Effective Risk Regulation and Regulation and Its Reform (affiliate links) won’t be a smash hit? Well, it will with Pratt playing a young Breyer! I don’t care that Pratt looks nothing like Justice Breyer; Pratt will surely guarantee that this movie will make at least $200 million. If we can throw in some velociraptors and Bradley Cooper as a homicidal raccoon, that would be even better (just ignore this whole pitch if Jurassic World bombs this weekend).

Samuel Alito – Another accomplished jurist that . . . oh sorry I fell asleep reading his Wikipedia page as well. I guess we’ll have no choice but to . . . hire Chris Pratt again! The movie should star Pratt as both Breyer and Alito; imagine the film as the Supreme Court meets Orphan Black. And while we’re at it, let’s also have Pratt play retired Justices Stevens, O’Connor, and Souter, which is just slightly more implausible than half of the things that have happened this season on Orphan Black. And if you think Chris Pratt playing multiple Supreme Court justices at the same time is ridiculous, remember that someone in Hollywood green-lit the film Aloha.

Earlier: Natalie Portman Will Star In Ruth Bader Ginsburg Biopic

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Harry Graff is a litigation associate at a firm, but he spends days wishing that he was writing about film, television, literature, and pop culture instead of writing briefs. If there is a law-related movie, television show, book, or any other form of media that you would like Harry Graff to discuss, he can be reached at harrygraff19@gmail.com. Be sure to follow Harry Graff on Twitter at @harrygraff19.

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