Kids, Lawyer Advertising, Plaintiffs Firms

Child Obsessed With Plaintiffs' Lawyer Has Weirdest Theme Party Ever

Parents make a little boy's dream come true by throwing a lawyer party. Wait, what?

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Kids can be into some weird stuff. Yo Gabba Gabba is just a malaria patient recounting the visions that scarred his dreams the time the clinic left “You Got What I Need” on repeat. You can recreate any episode of Teletubbies by dropping acid and watching four fat guys tailgate a Bears game. I have no idea what the hell an H.R. Pufnstuf is. The point is that the weird, wild, drug-addled s**t adults reserve for their nightmares are catnip for toddlers.

That said, I can’t imagine the little mind that trips over these commercials:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZGU7k1kt4k

But he exists. According to the Acadiana Advocate, there’s a two-year-old out there with some messed-up priorities:

When her son turned 2 years old earlier this year, L’erin Dobra had the typical quandary — choosing a birthday party theme. Pirate? Firefighter? Superhero? Harry Potter? What?

It turns out, little Grayson had been giving her hints.

“Before he could walk or talk, every time the Morris Bart commercial would come on, he was just fixated,” she says. “You couldn’t talk to him. You couldn’t do anything with him. He would just sit and stare at the TV. You could call his name, give him a toy. He didn’t care. He just wanted to watch the Bart commercial. He’s been that way ever since, and when he started talking he would say, ‘One call’ or ‘Bart, Bart, Bart, Morris Bart, Morris Bart.’

“They were not his first words, but they were a close second and third,” says Dobra.

Hm. Morris Bart’s office doesn’t seem like fodder for a children’s fairy tale, what with all the alleged love triangles and vicious beatings. Still, the doting parents gave the child what he really wanted: a Morris Bart party, complete with a cake and presents sent over by the man himself:

Kaley Wilkins-Fabre, the firm’s marketing coordinator, initially wasn’t sure the request was for real.

“We do have people call wanting autographed pictures or want a chance to meet with Mr. Bart, things of that nature, but never a child’s birthday,” she says.

Bart couldn’t make the party, but the office sent along an 8-by-10 portrait that he signed with birthday wishes, along with some other goodies, like keychains and a New Orleans Pelicans shirt that Grayson will need to grow into.

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The thing is, Morris Bart doesn’t even make bizarre commercials. If a child got into a creepy puppet, or a guy yelling into an explosion, or a winged creature from above, or whatever the f**k this is, I could write it off as a kid flocking to the usual carnival of the freakish. But falling under the sway of some straight-laced, square-jawed ambulance chaser? Developing an obsession so pronounced that he watches old commercials on YouTube and kisses a Morris Bart picture on his nightstand?

Mother L’erin and father Ionel (does she realize she could loan him her “L” and square away both those names?) should be very concerned about what sort of madman they’re turning loose on the world. To borrow wisdom from Jack Donaghy, in 20 years we’ll all be working for Grayson… or dead by his hand.

Happy Bartday: Prairieville family celebrates son’s second birthday with Morris Bart-themed party [The Acadiana Advocate]
Morris Bart meltdown: attorney attacked at law firm building by co-worker’s husband [Louisiana Record]

Earlier: Law Firm Uses Puppet As Pitchman And This Feels Like An Acid Trip
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