Law Schools, Women's Issues

Biglaw Mommy: Forewarned Is Forearmed (Or, How Law Schools Can Prepare Future Lawyer Moms)

Law schools are in a unique position to provide guidance to young female lawyers, but how many have stepped up to the challenge?

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I remember back when I was first applying to law school and the world seemed like it was my oyster. Granted, this was pre-recession, pre-economic collapse, and before the total reshaping of the legal market. Back then, as long as you were going to a relatively high-ranking school, the common understanding was that, should you so choose, you could march down a safe and well-established path that led to financial and relative job security. After all, the many, many Biglaw firms out there in the many big cities were hiring upwards of 100 law students per summer class. Jobs for everyone! Money for everyone! And because of that shining promise, I and so many others, among the hefty stack of early admission paperwork, blithely signed up for what we all now know to be extremely burdensome amounts of debt. Even for those of us who got the promised Biglaw jobs, making the debt manageable (but still hefty), it turns out it’s a lot harder and takes a lot longer to pay off multiple six figures of debt than the younger me ever gave a moment’s thought. Which is not to say that taking on the debt to fund my education was the wrong decision. On the contrary. But there are definitely ways I, and many others, could have made better decisions if we had just had a better understanding of what we taking on — and I think law schools are taking a lot of heat in this regard, for failing to educate us about this reality.

Becoming a Biglaw mommy kind of reminds me of taking out all those loans. When I first decided to go to law school, I just assumed that I would eventually start a family, continue working as a lawyer and, you know, “have it all.” I know, I know, it’s become very clear that “having it all” might just be another annoying catch phrase and basically meaningless in its overuse and peppy, blind optimism. But for the old me, back then, the notion of having it all as a woman and a lawyer was a lot like the promise of job security and money that the legal profession, and especially employment in Biglaw, had to offer. I was led to believe that all of these things were totally attainable realities that were just within my reach.

Now, of course, I know that it’s a lot more complicated than that. Not to say that the money, job security, and delicate balance of career and motherhood aren’t possible — I’ve been doing it for a while now and I guess it’s working, with the expected ups and downs. But just like I wish I had better understood the implications of the debt I took on to become a lawyer, I wish I had gone into all of this with a deeper understanding of the challenges I would face becoming a mother working in the law. Maybe it’s wishful thinking and I’m sure it’s hard no matter what, but I do think there are a number of steps that younger women preparing for a legal career can take to prepare themselves, decisions they can make that will put them in a better position to “have it all,” whatever that means for them.

Law schools are in a unique position to provide this guidance to young female lawyers, and yet I’m not sure how many have stepped up to the challenge. I think, based on my experience with women’s committees in law firms, there’s a certain reluctance to tackle the “having it all” debate for women out of a concern that singling out women’s issues will have a detrimental effect, like we’re suggesting that women are somehow inferior for struggling with certain issues more, or differently, than men. There’s probably also a concern about women-targeted programs excluding men, although I see absolutely no reason why that would have to be the case. Law school programs to address balancing career and family could absolutely include men, but I doubt they really would due entirely to self-exclusion — men, by and large, see this as a women’s issue. (Not their fault, because that perception is entirely reinforced and perpetuated by our corporate culture, but that’s another conversation entirely.)

Putting aside these concerns, I think there are so many ways that law schools could prepare young lawyers to be successful in both career and family life. In case anyone out there is involved in law school programming/initiatives, either from administration or students, here are a few ideas:

  • Promotion of a variety of types of law firms. When I was in law school, there definitely seemed to be a stronger emphasis on Biglaw, or at least that was the area of legal practice that I was most aware of, through OCI, other recruiting, and sponsorships. Of course, Biglaw is where the money’s at. But there are a lot of really fantastic small and midsize firms out there that might offer a much kinder work environment and more opportunities for balance. I know many of my classmates perceived small law as less exciting, but I know now that many of those firms offer the same opportunities to practice all types of law and work with elite clients on interesting cases, if on a slightly smaller scale. (Granted, be careful of the stereotype that small law is ALWAYS conducive to work-life balance. That is definitely false. You have to be selective.)
  • Promotion of secondary markets with a more manageable corporate culture. I think it’s only natural for many people to gravitate to the big cities when pursuing their legal careers. New York, San Francisco, Chicago — they’re exciting and the lure of all they have to offer can be tough to resist. I also recognize that big cities are easier for people who have spouses to consider, because bigger cities = more job opportunities. Obviously, people only have as much flexibility as their lives allow. But I think many people would give much more serious thought to secondary markets if they understood the benefits of working in those markets, particularly as compared to the costs of the bigger cities. By costs, I don’t just mean that big cities are much more expensive. They also generally require longer commutes, meaning even less of that precious free time to spend with family, living in smaller spaces (which is challenging with kids), and making other sacrifices. Plus, corporate culture tends to be much more intense in bigger cities, meaning less flexibility and balance.
    • Sub-bullet: It’s also possible to stay near the big cities and still consider smaller markets. In New York, for example, it’s possible to find excellent firms that pay quite well in New Jersey, Long Island, and Westchester, all within the New York metro area, but that may offer much better work-life balance. I wasn’t aware of that before coming here.
  • Focus on firms with better flex/family policies. I’m sure law schools do offer these types of programs because it seems so obvious, but I’ll put in another plug for it. In a promising sign of progress, maternity leave/flex time/telecommuting are becoming increasingly embraced in the legal world, presumably in recognition of their value towards retaining talent. Educating women early on about the firms that actively promote these benefits would go a long way towards setting women up in careers with long-term potential.

Who knows, maybe law students wouldn’t value these types of programs as much as I, in retrospect, think that I might have. After all, I can’t even remember what my law school offered in the way of initiatives, probably because it all felt so far removed from my life at that time. That being said, I think that society’s perceptions of working culture as it relates to women have changed dramatically in the (many) years since I attended law school. Since that time, Anne Marie Slaughter got real, Sheryl Sandberg told us to lean in, and a widespread cultural debate ensued about the realities of “having it all” in this day and age. In this context, I would be willing to bet that law students today are a lot more aware of these issues, which might lead to increased interest in tackling the challenges proactively. Meaning, seeking out firms that offer the promise of a greater work-life balance. And as more women vote with their feet, maybe we’ll see a greater shift towards a more family-friendly working culture. So, law schools, how about it?

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Mommy Dear, Esq. is a senior Biglaw associate in NYC by day and a new mommy by evening, weekend, and 3:30 a.m. She’s currently trying to “have it all,” “lean in,” and sometimes even cook dinner. Mommy Dear, Esq. is very, very tired. You can email her at [email protected] and you can follow her on Twitter here.

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