The Road Not Taken: You Are Not Your Job

You are not your job and it is important to learn this sooner rather than later. Find a hobby -- before it's too late.

I like not working. I’m not ashamed of it. Don’t get me wrong, I like my job and if I have to earn a living, my job is a delightful way to earn that living. However, in addition to my job, I have activities in my life that enrich me personally and bring me joy. I was discussing my hobbies with a colleague recently and I received the not-unusual response of, “You must not have that much work to do if you have time for all of that.”

I can’t understand living like that — only having time for work and work-related activities. Certainly, there are times when work is all there is, but that isn’t all the time. I’ve tried living a life that was all work and I quickly realized that I hated that life. I work hard to make time for the things that bring me joy. Ultimately, these breaks from work make me a better lawyer, but more importantly, they make me a better person. I worry about people whose only regular, voluntary activity is work. It isn’t a healthy relationship. We should try to be more than our jobs.

I can hear the protests: you’ve wanted to be a lawyer your whole life and this desire and passion consumes you. You want nothing more than to immerse yourself in the practice of law for every minute of the day. Here’s the thing about that mindset: it’s weird. Think about it, if you told someone you were dating that you felt that way about him or her, that person would either: (a) block you from all communication and disappear from your life; or (b) agree and immediately consume you in a dysfunctional relationship that could never give either of you happiness. Nothing, not a job, not a person, not an object, not a salary of a certain level, can bring you that kind of fulfillment. To be fulfilled, and to survive this profession, you have to have something outside of the job that brings you joy. That way, when you make mistakes, when you feel overwhelmed, when you don’t know the answer, you can put these normal, human, experiences into perspective. With perspective, you can pick yourself up and learn from the hard times instead of internalizing these normal experiences as a character flaw.

Your job is going to suck sometimes. You may even lose your job at some point in your career. Your job will be amazing at times. You are going to excel at times even if you don’t deserve the accolades. You cannot let the down times break you and you cannot let the good times delude you. Your career will fluctuate. To find sanity and stability, you have to develop a broader base of interests that can provide perspective, refuge, and humility regardless of the status of your career.

If you don’t have outside interests, start figuring out what delights you. It could be a sport, the arts, spirituality, connecting with loved ones. Make time for it. Like the friends you have before the torrid love affair, your interests will be there for you when your infatuation proves to be an unsustainable current of hormones and excitement.

You are not your job and it is important to learn this sooner rather than later.   


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Celeste Harrison Forst has practiced in small and mid-sized firms and is now in-house at a large manufacturing and technology company where she receives daily hugs from her colleagues. You can reach Celeste directly atC.harrisonforst@gmail.com.

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