Would You Respond To This Job Listing For An Associate?

Bizarre and sad posting for a lawyer job.

No one expects a lawyer gig posted on Craigslist to be the greatest job going, but usually any potential employer — especially one with a law practice — will put enough effort into the listing to make even the most base drudgery look appealing. And not just because the whole point of advertising an opening is to entice an applicant — it should be easy to get excited about your practice. If a passion for the firm and its work doesn’t come naturally to writing a job description, then why would anyone want to work with you? Which is why an ad seeking a lawyer with bad social skills who can support a paralegal should turn off most applicants.

Whoever wrote this listing (screen caps on the next page if the ad is removed) from Seattle is truly the Picasso of self-loathing advertisements:

The Associate Attorney is a licensed attorney or a JD pending licensing who integrally understands the theory of law, who has gone through the bootcamp of 3 years of law school and knows what it takes to prepare for an exam, including the bar exam, if applicable.

What does it even mean? The “theory of law”? Are there a lot of extended discussions of legal positivism in your practice? And if the applicant is a licensed attorney or pending licensing then they went to 3 years of law school and have taken, and passed, a number of exams — including the bar exam, “if applicable.” Is there a scenario in Washington where bar passage would not be applicable? Is there anything in this sentence that could not be reduced to “applicant must be licensed or pending licensing in the state of Washington”? This is the first damn sentence!

The Attorney Associate may not be as experienced as the experienced Paralegal, but can shoot off into the stars if needs be…

Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space.

… and can also stay in the heat and still stay cool and calm, or at least look like it, and can get the job done so that the Sr. Attorney has complete faith in the Associate.

Sponsored

Not many jobs appreciate a highly motivated bulls**t artist, so the line, “or at least look like it,” deserves plaudits.

The Associate Attorney will not have much contact with clients, as their will be too much work to be done.

Such as copy editing. On that note compare:

In addition, firm policy is that only the Sr. Attorney and the Legal Assistant and Secretary should be contacting the clients.

With:

Sponsored

TASKS – You will:
calendar
email
draft letters
get records
call clients

Drunk monkeys keep a train of thought longer.

In addition, firm policy is that only the Sr. Attorney and the Legal Assistant and Secretary should be contacting the clients. The Associate Attorney need not have the best social interpersonal skills, just a sharp legal mind.

To call this a red flag is an insult to red flags everywhere. If this guy is willing to tell the world that he’s willing to hire awkward jerks, then we’ve learned all we need to learn about the work environment.

Remember Seattle, the minimum wage is moving to $15/hour. Take a pass on this one and go be a barista instead. At least you’ll have more contact with clients.

ATTORNEY ASSOCIATE/JD PARALEGAL (Bellevue) [Craigslist]