Blogging, Canada

The View From Up North: Lawyer Fights Incurable Cancer With Humour, Hope, And An Amazing Blog

What would you do if you were in this lawyer's shoes?

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Sabrina Fuoco is a Toronto lawyer. She has been either living with cancer or under the spectre of cancer since the age of three. She writes a remarkable blog called Cancer Girl Smiles, where she sums herself up perfectly on the Welcome page:

Hiya Blog!

My name is Sabrina. I’m a cancer haver, a life lover, a coffee drinker, a tv and movie watcher, a food eater, a fashion follower, a blanket hogger, a cupcake maker, a law degree owner, an Audrey Hepburn admirer, and most recently a blog writer and a healthy living promoter.

I’m living with metastatic osteosarcoma, but I’ve survived cancer five times before, and I plan on doing it again!

Please follow my blog and enjoy my journey. I hope I can inspire all of you 🙂

Love, health, and all things pretty!

xo

My first thought after reading that—Sabrina writes with incredible optimism and humour in the face of a terrible disease. The metastatic osteosarcoma she mentions, which she calls Oscar the Osteosarcoma, is a rare form of cancer that started in her neck, then spread to her lungs.

Stage four. Incurable. Sabrina is thirty-four years old.

No one can predict the future, but it’s pretty safe to assume, without a miracle, she will not collect an old age pension.

What would you do in the face of that diagnosis? Would you curl up in a ball? Would you give up? I think we could all understand Sabrina screaming at God, “What have I done to deserve SIX bouts of cancer?” I wouldn’t blame her for lying in bed all day.

But, that’s not Sabrina.

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Read her blog. You’ll see someone filled with radiance. You’ll meet someone who candidly shares the good and bad of living with a terrible disease. You’ll learn about cancer from someone who has more personal experience with it than perhaps anyone alive.

The same curious brain that drove her to law school success, pushed her to research cancer, to learn everything she could about it. Bottom line, Sabrina is an incredible cancer resource and she shares it all in her blog—along with a dose of humour that makes reading about cancer much more compelling and edible.

I first read about Sabrina in a recent Toronto Star article. I immediately knew I wanted to write a column about her. She was gracious enough to accept my request.

Here is my lightly edited conversation with the inspirational, heroic, courageous Sabrina Fuoco:

Steve Dykstra: I think your blog is terrific. You write really well. Why did you start blogging?

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Sabrina Fuoco: Thank you, that’s greatly appreciated. It’s always lovely to hear positive feedback. Initially I started blogging to update my family and friends on my health and most recent cancer journey. It was a bit overwhelming to have to constantly reiterate the details of my latest CT scans, doctor’s appointments, bowel movements, etc. This was a great way to get all of the information out there in one shot. However, I quickly realized how therapeutic blogging was for me as well as the type of impact my story was having on people, so I decided to use the blog as a tool to advocate and inspire others in their cancer journeys.

SD: It must be very difficult to discuss certain topics with your family and friends. The blog is incredibly candid. Is that because it’s easier for you to write about difficult topics than it is to have face to face discussions with your loved ones?

SF: As supportive as my family and friends are, there are some topics that are very grim and difficult to discuss. These are the types of conversations that entice those awkward stares or uncomfortable silence. Not very enjoyable. So enter the cancer blog. It’s much easier to have those difficult conversations with my computer screen, this way I cannot see anyone tearing up or quickly trying to change the subject on me. Here I am able to be my most vulnerable self, being as painfully honest as I need to be, and getting my message across no matter how unpleasant the subject may be.

SD: I love the gentle humour throughout. Is that a conscious decision on your part? I guess what I’m asking is, it might be difficult to attract an audience if your writing is particularly morbid. Thus, do you use humour to balance against the dark nature of cancer so the audience will stick around and read?

SF: No one wants to make cancer jokes or find humour in something as serious and horrifying as a cancer diagnosis, unless you happen to have cancer yourself, that is. I guess it’s one of those unwritten rules whereby cancer havers and survivors are able to make cancer jokes, that’s just the way it is. And if you are a five-time cancer survivor, well then you can pretty much do whatever you want. Cancer is toxic and depressing, so I definitely think that subtle humour and silliness help to lighten things up a little and make for a much more enjoyable read. Additionally, I think humour seems to deliver some key messages and harsh realities in a way that people really grasp.

SD: Where do you find your optimism?

SF: I am too much of a life lover and a cancer hater to allow cancer to define my life. The way I see it is that there is no other way to be really. I have essentially been dealing with cancer all my life, so if I wanted to be angry about having cancer, I would be miserable all the time. Call it bad luck, bad genes, or being dealt a bad hand, it’s the only life I was given. This is not to say that things are always peachy, as they definitely are not. I get angry and frustrated just like the best of them. However, I believe that I owe it to myself and others to keep fighting and advocating on behalf of cancer patients everywhere. Having had cancer at every stage of my life means that either God has a really twisted sense of humour or that I’m in the unique position to make a difference. I opt for the latter explanation. My story resonates with people and I feed off of that.

SD: How much time do you spend writing?

SF: That really depends. There are some blog posts that I am able to generate pretty quickly. In particular, those posts where I share my thoughts, beliefs and feelings do not take very long to write, as the ideas just flow. Then there are blog posts where I am writing about medical topics, citing various studies or facts, and these posts generally take much longer. I want to ensure that the information and message I am conveying is accurate and evidence-based. That’s my legal education coming into play. Some of these posts take anywhere from five to six hours to a couple of days to put together. My time writing is not spent solely on blog posts either, but also to reply to individuals that have reached out to me personally.

SD: What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?

SF: Aside from inspiring and helping others affected by cancer to never lose hope, I would ultimately like to raise much-needed awareness and funding for metastatic cancer as well as Li-Fraumeni Syndrome [Ed. note: from which Sabrina suffers]. It would be thrilling to be able to create a foundation that addresses the gaps in cancer research, therefore giving metastatic cancer patients real options that allow them to live long, meaningful lives, while also looking into research for rare cancers and rare genetic conditions that can give rise to remarkable advances in the treatment of cancer. Some of the most aggressive forms of cancer are being completely ignored, and this is something we cannot and must not accept. And if this means becoming a cancerlebrity and being invited to fancy cancer galas with delicious food every now and then, well, who am I to argue?

SD: Is there a sense in those living with metastatic cancers that the health community has giving up on them?

SF: Having spoken to a number of metastatic cancer patients, it is safe to say that yes, there is a feeling among them that the health community is giving up on them. I have been on both sides of the cancer fence, as both the glorified first-stage cancer patient and most recently as the fourth-stage cancer patient, who I refer to as the black sheep of the cancer world. As a first-stage cancer patient, the medical community greets you with a zealous approach to treatment and many options to cure your cancer. Whereas, with respect to metastatic cancer, there is a much more mediocre and unimpressive approach taken, whereby the goal is simply to “keep you comfortable.” Don’t get me wrong, I adore my oncologist and I am sure it is not something intentional on the part of the medical community, but sometimes, as morbid as this may sound, I get the impression that the medical community is saying, “what’s the point in spending any money on these patients, they are most likely going to die anyway.” I hate to break the bad news to you cancer, but I am surely not going to make it that easy for you. You have met your match.

SD: After three decades in the ring with cancer (and all the research you’ve done), you must be one of the most knowledgeable lay people in the world about the disease. How gratifying is it to share your knowledge and story with other cancer patients?

SF: It’s the most fulfilling and incredible feeling. Given my extensive career in cancer, so to speak, I feel rather well equipped to share my knowledge and story with others affected by cancer. I guess over 30 years of experience in kicking cancer’s ass will tend to do that to you. Simply knowing that I have made an impact in the life of one cancer patient is extremely rewarding. I feel very humbled and honoured to know that my story has the ability to inspire others to keep fighting the fight. It’s pretty cool when someone tells you that you have motivated them to start juicing their greens again, or helped them to find meaning in their life. And it’s always super exciting to have someone comment on your blog or contact you personally to ask your advice or opinion.

SD: What’s one thing people really don’t realize about living with metastatic cancer?

SF: That it totally sucks. Three things come to mind. First, people think that metastatic cancer patients must look really sick, frail and deathly. Individuals equate how advanced your cancer is with how bad you look. However, the reality of the matter is that there are metastatic cancer patients out there walking among us (myself included) who do not look like we have cancer at all. But this does not change the gravity of the disease one bit. Second, individuals mistakenly believe that metastatic cancer primarily affects old people (not to be ageist or anything), not young people. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Sadly, many young adults are living with and ultimately will die from metastatic cancer. Third, we receive way too many CT scans loaded with radiation. Sure, let’s give cancer to my cancer, apparently that seems logical.

SD: Who should read your blog?

SF: Why, everyone, of course. In today’s society I cannot imagine there is anyone out there that hasn’t been touched by cancer in some form or another. Therefore, this blog is for individuals with cancer, survivors, caregivers, the medical community, and those that are simply looking for motivation and a good laugh. Please don’t feel as though you have to go out and get yourself some cancer to read my blog—I highly advise against this. Simply anyone can read it. And seriously, why wouldn’t you want to read a blog where I name my cancers?!

SD: One last question. What’s your favourite lawyer joke?

SF: Hmm, that’s a tough one. This one I think is an oldie, but a goodie. “How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.”

SD: Love that one! And speaking of love, I wish you love, health and all things pretty, Sabrina.

If you want to learn more about Sabrina and her fight, please check out her terrific blog.

That’s the View From Up North. Have a great week.

Steve Dykstra is a Canadian-trained lawyer and legal recruiter. He is the President of Steven Dykstra Law Professional Corporation, a boutique corporate/commercial law firm located in the greater Toronto area. You can contact Steve at steve@stevendykstralaw.ca. You can also read his blog at stevendykstra.wordpress.com, follow him on Twitter (@Law_Think), or connect on LinkedIn (ca.linkedin.com/in/stevedykstra/).

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