Law Schools

Cooley Law School Brings Us The Dumbest Malfeasance Scandal Ever

There are some serious scandals in the world. Then there's really dumb stuff.

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bonus money cash boxThere are some really big law school scandals out there. And Thomas M. Cooley is responsible for one of the big ones. This scandal is not one of those.

The Cooley SBA’s published meeting minutes reveal a new tempest in a teapot, with a potential impeachment brewing over charges that the SBA President misused funds. A tipster characterized it this way:

Student bar association president caught with funds missing and unauthorized and extravagant spending.

That sounds juicy. But the meeting minutes were so much lamer. The President addressed each charge of malfeasance against him:

Discussed the charges brought against him. Spoke to each charge that he spent using SBA funds. Explained reasoning for buying them
Breakfast- took a student to breakfast for helping clean up after barristers
Heater- was cold in the office
Name plaque- was for office décor
Mints- for students
Putt-putt set- students can use it during classes
Dasani- was only a dollar for the water

Mints. They are fighting over f**king mints. If you have an organization that can’t spring three bucks for some Altoids, perhaps it’s time to raise your dues by twenty-five cents per student. The office space heater and the putt-putt sets are the only arguable “extravagances” on this list (assuming they don’t pass with the office), and those are… what? Thirty bucks each? Everything else seems entirely appropriate for a president acting in an official capacity.

Now, maybe the allegation is that all this breached the official bylaws as written. If so, that’s a screwup, and the president should have gotten those rules fixed instead of taking them for granted. On the other hand, this is just so weaksauce as a controversy, you’ve got to think this is some sort of proxy for someone at Cooley just not liking this guy and seeking a coup. Indeed, the Cooley student senate took the stance that students who signed the petition were approached “under false pretense.”

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At the end of the day, it didn’t work — the SBA president remained in office.

Now begins the great purge of his enemies. The rivers of Michigan will run read with the blood of the infidels!

Which, in fairness, is much better than what Michigan’s government tends to put in the water.

Earlier: ATL March Madness: The Elite 8 Of Law School Scandals

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