Law Professors, Law Schools

Your Nightmare Recommendation Letter From A Law Professor

If you ask a law professor for a recommendation letter, make sure you have a good relationship, or else it could wind up like this...

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This is a rec letter?

This is a rec letter?

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing this letter on behalf of Thurbert Zuckworth, a student who, at least according to his e-mail, took my Torts class a year ago in the fall and my Business Organizations class last year in the spring.  I, quite honestly, don’t remember him at all.  He did not talk much, unless called upon.  He really failed to stand out in any particular way.  Anyhow, I am writing this letter on his behalf.

I should start with what precious little I know.  He got a B+ in Torts.  That is the median grade.  Therefore, I know he did fine.  I took the liberty of looking at his exam.  He grasps the basic concepts and seems to know the generally applicable rules, if not the exceptions.  I think the problem was that he was very formulaic in his approach, without much nuance.  He missed facts, or at least ignored the bad facts.  You know, the usual.

In Business Organizations, he similarly got a B+.  Surprised at this coincidence, I looked back at his exam.  Unsurprisingly, he made the same mistakes he made on his first-year final exam.  I looked through my e-mail archive.  There is no record he ever met with me to talk about his exam, nor did he ever come to office hours.

Looking back on his class performance, I simply do not recall him in Torts.  He apparently did okay in participation, however, because I don’t have any notations regarding revisiting him for follow-up.  Looking at the absence sheets, he did not miss any classes.

In Business Organizations, I noted he maxed out his absences, and there were many times he was unprepared in class.  Of course, he did not state he was unprepared, but courageously attempted to engage in circumlocutory bullshit while searching for answers in case briefs.

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Outside of class, I have no idea what he did.  I looked him up on Twitter and Facebook, where he had some surprising things to say about my class.  “Boring” was a word he used.  “Too tired from drinking last night for this shiz,” was another comment.  I can only assume that his relentless boredom was the reason he failed to participate.  I take no offense at his comments, as I noted he was far harsher on my colleagues, at least on social media.

I took the liberty of speaking with some of his colleagues.  They assured me that he was very helpful.  He informed them to avoid my Business Organizations class like the plague, that my finals were unfair, and that I was an evil grader.  These students found the advice useful, and enrolled themselves in my colleague’s course instead.  My colleague wanted me to pass along his thanks to the subject of this letter, as he will have far more grading to do than I.

Anyhow, this is my letter of recommendation.  I suppose the Dean would be mad if I failed to try my best to ensure this student is gainfully employed. Looking at your firm, a place where I began working many years ago until forced out, I would say Mr. Zuckworth is a perfect fit.

Very truly yours,

LawProfBlawg

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LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here and on Twitter. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.

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