Crime

Oh My God, Ammon Bundy Is Actually Right About Something

Well, well, well, look who made a good point.

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(Photo by George Frey/Getty Images

(Photo by George Frey/Getty Images

Noted hillbilly Ammon Bundy will soon stand trial for leading a stand-off at a federal facility because the Bureau of Land Management didn’t take kindly to a couple of guys setting their land ablaze, endangering the lives of firefighters and the local population. That pesky Interior Department with all of its “life-saving rules.”

Rules aren’t really Bundy’s thing. Since his arrest, Ammon Bundy’s acted like a little baby, challenging prison rules because he couldn’t use Facebook. And you just know that he’s the kind of guy who used to complain about prisons being too soft for not feeding inmates gruel before he found his own pampered keister in there.

But Bundy’s finally right on something. The U.S. Marshal’s Service and prosecutors are fighting Bundy’s request that he be allowed to wear his cowboy boots (and ties, and a belt that doubtlessly sports a bald eagle driving a red, white, and blue tractor over Saddam Hussein with the caption “Come And Get It” or some such nonsense) to his own trial. According to the government, ties and belts are banned because they could present a security risk to marshals or the prisoners themselves, while the boots are disallowed because the leg shackles applied to prisoners for transport simply won’t fit over his shitkickers.

All valid points. But defense attorney J. Morgan Philpot moved to insert some common sense into the proceedings:

Philpot pressed further in court Tuesday, asking if he could provide boots for his client to change into once he’s led into the courtroom, and before the jury is brought in.

That’s perfectly reasonable. Therefore, obviously, the government is bitterly opposing the motion, arguing that throwing a jacket and dress shirt on Bundy and his band of little renown is more than enough to avoid any risk of prejudice. Hey, at least they’re taking off the shackles before the Bundykins go in front of those deciding their fate. Immigration defendants aren’t afforded that dignity.

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And perhaps that’s normal enough — most defendants want to appear in professional attire for a trial — but Ammon Bundy is not most defendants:

Philpot added later in the day in a written motion, “These men are cowboys, and given that the jury will be assessing their authenticity and credibility, they should be able to present themselves to the jury in that manner.”

There isn’t much to say that defendants have an affirmative right to dress as they wish — case law is much more concerned with their right not to be dressed prejudicially — but it should be a no-brainer. The government’s position here boils down to, “for no specific safety reason, we should be able to dictate the defendants’ litigation strategy.”

If agreeing with Ammon Bundy is generating palpitations, don’t worry — Ryan Bundy was right there to remind everyone that these people are crazy:

In other action, Ryan Bundy Tuesday challenged the government’s theory that he may have “aided and abetted” in the theft of government property, specifically regarding his alleged stealing of government cameras in mid-January.

Ryan Bundy cited “basic Biblical principle,” noting, “A man will be accountable for his own sins and not that of another.”

The judge quickly dismissed his argument.

“Mr. Bundy,” she said, “the Biblical standards don’t apply.”

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That’s much better.

Earlier: Immigration Courtrooms Are Completely Out Of Control

Joe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.

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