Thanksgiving Family Talk On The Job Search, Solo Practice, And The Election
Advice for solo and small-firm lawyers on how to handle the holiday.
Tomorrow, like most Americans, I will spend Thanksgiving Day with my family. For the last couple of years, the attendees have been me, my parents, my siblings, their spouses, and a few extended family members. Since I don’t see them on a regular basis, this is one of the few opportunities to catch up on how everyone is doing.
During our conversations, they always ask the same two awkward questions about my practice and my job search. But this year, I anticipate that they will also ask who I voted for in the last election.
How’s business? One of my nosier relatives asks me point blank: How much do you make per month? I tend to answer this vaguely for two reasons. As a solo practitioner, my income fluctuates, so it’s hard to give an accurate answer. Second, it’s none of their business. I also don’t want to give anyone any expectations.
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The answer would depend on who is asking. If it is someone who needs the information to help me improve my practice, I would tell him the truth. If it’s someone who is in foreclosure proceedings who seems desperate for cash, I would not tell the truth, or better yet, not tell him at all. I usually tell these people that I am just getting by, making just enough money to pay the bills.
How’s your job search coming along? I wish I could tell them about the many job openings I applied to a few years ago. I wish I could tell them about the recruiters who either ignore me or give me the runaround. I wish I could tell them about the industry leaders who give me the same generic advice but won’t give me a shot. I wish I could tell them about the shady firms that offer barely more than minimum wage to seasoned attorneys. And I wish I could tell them that sometimes it gets so frustrating that I don’t even bother to apply sometimes.
But what’s the point? Why be a downer on a day of gratitude?
So if the relatives ask me this year, I will tell them that I have been busy with my practice and other endeavors, so I haven’t had the time to look for and apply to every position out there. I reassure them by saying that I remain hopeful to find something eventually but if I don’t, I will manage.
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So who did you vote for? Trump or Clinton? And why? Considering the high tensions surrounding the election results, I think it is too soon to be asking this question to a person you don’t know. But I know some of my relatives will ask me this assuming that since we are family, we can share our answer without being judged.
It’s easy to disclose who we voted for if everyone else voted the same way we did. We’ll all be in our little safe space where we can either complain about the world or look forward to making America great again. But in my family, some are Republicans and some are Democrats. While I am sure that no one will be offended, I am not interested in having a polarized political discussion after eating enough food to give me a heart attack.
I want to wish everyone a happy and safe Thanksgiving (and the morning-after hangover known as Black Friday). And for the solo practitioners, don’t work that day if you don’t have to. Spend the day with family and friends or volunteer at the local shelter.
And for those who are emotional about the election results – one way or the other – please remember a few things before you decide to speak your mind or “keep it real” at the dinner table. Remember the people who spent all day (or several days) preparing the meal for everyone to enjoy. And remember the elders of the family who in the sunset of their lives want to see their children and grandchildren happy together under one roof. So to show them your gratitude for their work, please exercise some compassion, tolerance, and restraint, just for one day. The revolution can wait.
Earlier: Thanksgiving Family Talk On The Job Search, Solo Practice, And The Election
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Shannon Achimalbe was a former solo practitioner for five years before deciding to sell out and get back on the corporate ladder. Shannon can be reached by email at sachimalbe@excite.com and via Twitter: @ShanonAchimalbe.
