7 (More) Lessons About Lawyering -- And Life

Here's the stuff that really matters.

handshake shake hands shaking hands meeting introductionIn 6 Lessons About Lawyering — And Life, I shared some insights I’ve acquired over the course of my legal career, which has included clerking for a federal judge, working in-house for a large insurance company, making partner at an Am Law 200 law firm, and starting my own firm. I’m fortunate to have a practice and a life that I love, in a place that I love, and I wanted to pass along some advice that I wish someone had given me earlier in my career.

This column picks up where that post left off. If you didn’t read my prior post, you’re welcome to do so.  I had a few more things to add that I wanted you to know. These follow on the themes from last week, but you can have only so many words in one column, so you have to put them together.

Here’s the upshot. The practice of law is hard because it’s about people, and people are hard. But they are also what make the practice great. So, how do you find success in a career built on people? Here are my tips.

1. Build Relationships. This is a biggie, and it’s woven through the other pieces of advice we discussed last week. Go to the judges’ night and meet the judges. They are just people, and they are happy to meet you. Even if you don’t have anything to say. Be prepared with a question you want to ask — maybe they just issued a decision you had a question about, or they wrote an article you read. Be interested. Then follow up afterwards and tell her or him that you enjoyed meeting them. Be memorable. Eventually, their kids will play on your kid’s soccer team, and you want to be friendly.

Go to bar events for young lawyers, old lawyers, in-between lawyers. Be involved in the practice groups. Start your own group of working moms or working dads or lawyers with cats. But build relationships. You need to start now. And if you’ve started, but you haven’t nurtured your relationships, get back to it. Say hi, ask to have coffee or a drink, or lunch. Talk about what’s going on in their life, not just about work. Find something else to discuss — you’ll build a stronger relationship.

In five or ten years, the colleagues you went to law school with and college with and worked with will be in-house counsel and judges and just plain cool people that you’ll want to know.

2. Be nice to everyone. Don’t lie. Those speak for themselves. You’ll be sorry you refused that extension when you need one yourself. Or that you were a jerk and now the lawyer you were a jerk to is working with someone else at your firm and holding it against them. (Names withheld, but you know who you are.)

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3. Tell People What You Do. This goes hand in hand with the building relationships. For a long time, I downplayed what kind of work I did, or simply didn’t mention it, and that was a mistake. Do not assume that everyone you meet knows what you do or who you want to do work with. You have to TELL them. Just let them know what you do in case anything comes up that you can help with. It’s not hard, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. I tell people I love helping my clients make the most out of the opportunities of electronic information, and to manage the associated risks. Because I do.

4. Remember, it’s not your money. I was lucky enough to have several mentors at my first firm, and one in particular who had the best nuggets of wisdom. I took cases very personally and felt responsible when things didn’t go well for a client, whether it was a decision from the court, a deposition, a negotiation, etc. So one day he saw me stressed about a case, and he walked into my office and sat down and said, “Kelly, you need to remember one thing. It’s not your money.” And what he meant was that the client’s problem was not my own. It was my job to stay objective about the issues, about what was at stake, and to advise the client, but not to take it on as my own. There’s a difference between caring deeply about helping your client, and taking it on as if you caused the dispute that gave rise to the litigation. See the line and stay on the side of providing your best advice. Sometimes matters can get very personal, and you have to separate that.

5. THINK. Another gold nugget from that same lawyer that has served me well. Thinking is what you get paid to do, and you should do it instead of always running around doing. How much better and more productive would your day be if you stopped to first think about what you need to do before you started doing it? Strategy first.

6. Avoid the word “like.” On another day, the gold nugget guy came into my office, sat down and out of the blue said, “I don’t understand why so many young people use the word ‘like’ all the time. It doesn’t mean anything, and it makes them look naive and uncertain.” Then he got up and left. (To this day, I LOVE that guy.) He was right, and from that day on, every time I hear anyone or myself say the word “like” as an extra word, I catch it and correct it. Even with my kids. It’s a practice that needs to stop. Hear yourself saying it, and start remembering not to. You don’t need it, and it isn’t good English. That simple correction will change how people view you.

7. Embrace the power of being able to help others. As a lawyer, you have a special gift. You know and understand the power of the law, how to negotiate, and a million other little things that non-lawyers do not and will never understand. You have the ability to help them. Even helping someone find the right lawyer to help them is an enormous help. If you’ve never looked for a lawyer, you have no appreciation for how truly difficult it is to find someone you can trust and who really knows what they are doing. Helping a person who can’t speak English know what to say to the electric company to turn off the meter in their name from their old house? Priceless. For you, five minutes of your time. You can change lives through your knowledge of the law. Try to keep perspective as you go through your crazy days.

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The practice of law is about people and relationships — keep that in mind and let it guide your decision making. If you are in New York or Chicago and you think you’ll never run into that lawyer again, you’re wrong. People talk, social media spreads, and people remember bad behavior. You have what it takes to build a positive career helping others (and making some money along the way).

Now get out there, I’ll be looking for you.

Earlier: 6 Lessons About Lawyering — And Life


Kelly TwiggerKelly Twigger gave up the golden handcuffs of her Biglaw partnership to start ESI Attorneys, an eDiscovery and information law Firm, in 2009. She is passionate about teaching lawyers and legal professionals how to think about and use ESI to win, and does so regularly for her clients. The Wisconsin State Bar named Kelly a Legal Innovator in 2014 for her development of eDiscovery Assistant— an online eDiscovery playbook for lawyers and legal professionals. When she’s not thinking, writing or talking about ESI, Kelly is wandering in the mountains of Colorado, or watching Kentucky basketball. You can reach her by email at Kelly@ediscoveryassistant.com or on Twitter: @kellytwigger.

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