Biglaw

Latham Lawyer Executes Kevin Bacon-esque 'All Is Well' In Wake Of Bombshell Michael Cohen Report

The firm represents Columbus Nova, and assures us there's nothing to see here about that half-million Nova paid to Cohen.

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Billy Zane (Photo via Getty Images)

Michael Avenatti has done more with a porn client than any lawyer since Alan Isaacman. It’s going to be so incredibly lit when Billy Zane plays him in the movie (opposite Zach Galifianakis who will be playing Michael Cohen). Last night, we probably reached the midway point of the show, with Avenatti dropping a bombshell report detailing various payments Cohen has received from companies and shady Russians. As one of my friends said on Facebook, the Cohen/Stormy/Trump/Russia singularity has been achieved.

I have… no earthly idea where Avenatti got his information. But it checks out. Multiple news organizations have verified Avenatti’s report. You can even read all about it in the New York Times:

Financial records reviewed by The New York Times show that Mr. Cohen, President Trump’s personal lawyer and longtime fixer, used the shell company, Essential Consultants L.L.C., for an array of business activities that went far beyond what was publicly known. Transactions adding up to at least $4.4 million flowed through Essential Consultants starting shortly before Mr. Trump was elected president and continuing to this January, the records show.

“This January,” y’all. Money was being “funneled” (hat tip: Rudy Giuliani) to Michael Cohen’s shell company as recently as this January, by which point he seems to have been well monitored by the FBI.

What the money was for is, you know, going to be a question for the trial court when we get to that stage. What Trump knew about those payments is going to be the subject of a subpoena from the Robert Mueller investigation, probably going to be relevant to the S.D.N.Y investigation, and will surely be part of Michael Avenatti’s deposition of Donald Trump which now seems like a thing that is destined to happen. (Trump is going to be played by a CGI-ugly Leo and Leo is going to win a Best Supporting Oscar for like 15 devastating minutes of screen time.)

The money funneled to Cohen sure looks untoward. But somebody has to argue that the payments were totally aboveboard. The job of telling us that there’s nothing to see here has apparently fallen to Latham & Watkins partner, Richard Owens. From Mother Jones:

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In a statement Tuesday night, Columbus Nova’s attorney, Richard Owens of Latham & Watkins, acknowledged payments to Cohen, but denied Vekselberg’s involvement.

Here is Owens’ statement: “Columbus Nova is a management company solely owned and controlled by Americans. After the inauguration, the firm hired Michael Cohen as a business consultant regarding potential sources of capital and potential investments in real estate and other ventures. Reports today that Viktor Vekselberg used Columbus Nova as a conduit for payments to Michael Cohen are false. The claim that Viktor Vekselberg was involved or provided any funding for Columbus Nova’s engagement of Michael Coehn is patently untrue. Neither Viktor Vekselberg nor anyone else other than Columbus Nova’s owners, were involved in the decision to hire Cohen or provided funding for his engagement.”

When reached for further comment, Owens is thought to have said:

Kevin Bacon would also make a good Avenatti, especially since I assume Aaron Sorkin is writing this script.

The argument from Columbus Nova, all the other companies Avenatti exposed, and Michael Cohen himself is going to be that these were normal payments into the swamp. That’s literally all they have. Everybody is going to say that they collectively gave Cohen $4.4 million — that we know of — to peddle influence with the president, which is just how the game is played. Nothing illicit, just normal pay-to-play lobbying efforts.

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The problem with that argument is going to be the money trail, both backwards and forwards. Latham & Watkins lawyers better be able to document that none of this money came from Russian oligarchs. Michael Cohen is going to have to document where all this money went. Donald Trump is going to have to document that none of the money Trump paid to Cohen flowed back out to those same Russian oligarchs.

And given that Michael Cohen seems to be a bad, sloppy lawyer, I don’t like the chances that all of this money ended up where it was supposed to.

In any event, Michael Avenatti has achieved transubstantiation. He’s taken a case about violating a nondisclosure agreement, a case where his client was on the defense against possible damages, and turned it into case that’s at the very heart of whether the Trump campaign colluded with foreign nationals to influence an American election.

I bet Trump wishes he just admitted to having an affair with Stormy Daniels. As Hansel could have told Trump: “Listen to your friend Billy Zane. He’s a cool dude. He’s trying to help you out.”

Firm Tied to Russian Oligarch Made Payments to Michael Cohen [New York Times]

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.

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