Nothing Deflates Balls Faster Than A Patriots Prostitution Arrest

Well, this is... well, actually kind of expected.

(Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images)

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was charged with two counts of solicitation of prostitution in Florida after being tagged as part of a sting operation aimed at taking down a human trafficking ring.

Kraft was visiting the “Orchids of Asia Day Spa” which could not sound more like a brothel if it were named “Jackoff Junction” when he allegedly requested more than another hot towel. Authorities claim some of the sex acts performed were caught on surveillance cameras, which could make this the only time in history that the Patriots might be punished based on video evidence of impropriety.

Before this incident, Kraft had been dating Ricki Noel Lander, who you might remember from this bonkers video of Kraft and Lander doing script reads while she wears a bikini for some reason.

In all seriousness, human trafficking is a terrible scourge and it’s gobsmacking to me that someone like Kraft would get mixed up in something like this. Not that he wouldn’t be the sort of guy soliciting sex acts — that doesn’t seem all that shocking for someone who made the aforementioned audition video — but that he’d be going to a low-rent sex shop that uses veritable slave labor to charge clients $79 an hour. The advantage of being that wealthy should be the ability to limit one’s prostitution choices to high-priced sex workers who are engaged in the industry of their own free will. Like, feel what you will about former governor Eliot Spitzer, but Ashley Dupre was billing out at around 3 grand and had full agency to decide what she wanted to do.

Solicitation is a misdemeanor in Florida.

Patriots owner Robert Kraft busted for soliciting prostitution [New York Post]
Patriots owner Robert Kraft charged with soliciting prostitution in Florida spa [Treasure Coast News]

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HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

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