Above the Law

Morning Docket: 12.01.25

* Judge suspended after being charged with the unlawful arrest of delivery driver leaving packages in the courthouse. [ABA Journal]

* Alabama teenager draws election map approved by court over expert options. [The Guardian]

* "Law Firms’ Zeal for Realization Undermines Client Relationships," writes client. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Now that Lindsey Halligan is officially recognized as illegally squatting in her U.S. Attorney role, why haven't the district's judges picked a successor yet? [National Law Journal]

* RealPage claims it's a First Amendment violation for the state of New York to make it illegal to serve as a price fixing facilitator. [Law360]

* Amazon wins injunction blocking state labor law aimed at reclaiming labor law now that the federal government has abandoned the space. [Reuters]

* Congratulations to Cooley Law School for getting off of probation. [Law.com]

LOLSuit To Cost Trump Dearly — See Generally

Eleventh Circuit Won't Save Trump And Habba From Sanctions: The American presidency goes from "a million points of light" to "a million dollars in legal sanctions" in a generation.

Milbank Makes Biglaw Bonus Amounts Official: The firm finally weighed in and matched the market.

One Simple Trick To Make Associates Happy: Turns out that giving people money works better than wellness webinars.

Lindsey Halligan Pulls Off A Perfect Double-Faceplant: In a remarkable display of efficiency, she managed to lose both of her big cases in one swoop.

Biglaw Announces Stress-Reduction Plan For Summer Associates: The program is shorter now, which is one way to prepare them for being laid off in favor of AI in a couple years.

Law Professor Responds To Trump With Karate Chop: In defense of Miss Piggy.

Morning Docket: 11.26.25

* Lower court judges face escalating threats, so they will receive NO additional security. But Congress will increase Supreme Court security so they can safely continue to put lower court judges at risk. [ABA Journal]

* UK getting rid of jury trials for most crimes in order to clear backlog. [Legal Cheek]

* Lawyer arrested as cruise turns into fight club. [The Independent]

* Trump administration threats against Senator Kelly face "hurdles" to the extent Kelly... committed no crime when he accurately described military law. [Reuters]

* Judges refuse opportunity to testify in kangaroo court. [Law360]

* Warner Music settles with AI music generator Suno. [The Recorder]

* NLJ 500 partner appearing on Jeopardy! [Law.com]

Morning Docket: 11.25.25

* Department of Justice make another attempt to unseal Epstein grand jury records, knowing that the courts will say no, allowing the White House to pretend they tried to follow new law, even though there's nothing preventing them from releasing everything in their custody. [New York Law Journal]

* Gordon Rees avoids sanctions for AI hallucinations. [ABA Journal]

* DOJ works to settle more antitrust suits brought by Biden administration. It's a good time to wear a top hat and monocle! [Law360]

* Linklaters builds AI-lawyer team to build out AI leverage across departments. [Legal Cheek]

* Fired DOJ official sues after being fired saying out loud what everyone already knew. [Politico]

* TSwift fans coming at Live Nation like a missile. [Reuters]

* Supreme Court battle brewing over Feres doctrine. [National Law Journal]

Morning Docket: 11.24.25

* Effort to go after those who investigated Trump crimes getting funneled into Aileen Cannon's courtroom. [NY Times]

* Agriculture workers sue administration over new slashed minimum wage for migrant workers... because the administration doesn't realize cheaper migrant labor lowers all wages. [Courthouse News Service]

* Arguments all set for appeals hearing on Trump's power to ban a specific outlet from the White House because he doesn't like their coverage. [Reuters]

* Former Google CEO accused of sexual assault. [Law360]

* Federalist Society undergoing existential crisis as Trump's explicit demands run afoul of fig leaf philosophy they've spent decades crafting. [NY Times]

* DLA Piper sued for racial discrimination. [American Lawyer]

* Yale Law Library staff morale is in the tank. [Yale Daily News]

Biglaw Bonus Season Arrives! — See Generally

Cravath Starts Bonus Season, Everyone Begin The Freakout: The firm kicked off the year-end festivities and peers began the scramble to match.

Lindsey Halligan Sets New Low Score: Trump’s most loyal lawyer somehow managed to botch our already subterranean expectations.

Biglaw Firm Celebrating The Holidays With Some Mandatory Togetherness: Associates expecting a bonus announcement found out they'd be spending more time enjoying the privilege of fluorescent lighting.

Judge Jerry Smith’s Goes Full Wingnut In Texas Redistricting Case: And, to be clear, the Supreme Court will find a way to sanewash it.

Disbarment Shoe Drops: Josh Kindred’s long-running ethics circus ends exactly where everyone knew it would.

DoorDash Driver Learns Viral Content Can Be A Felony: Refusing to put on pants is already the most popular reason to call DoorDash.

Biglaw’s Latest Transatlantic Marriage Proposal: Ashurst and Perkins Coie look to join forces.

How Appealing Weekly Roundup

The week in appellate news.

Morning Docket: 11.21.25

* Elon Musk ends his lawsuit against Wachtell. Wachtell stresses that no settlement was involved. [Reuters]

* Lawyer who turned in brief with AI hallucinations genuinely didn't realize using Microsoft Copilot for writing and grammar would also lead it to make up new cases. Clippy is out of control. [ABA Journal]

* Here's an article about Judge Jerry Smith's dissent that sanewashes an unhinged opinion. Compare and contrast with this account that links to the actual opinion and quotes from it heavily. [National Law Journal]

* It's time to start blaming John Roberts for all of this. [Mother Jones]

* DC troop deployment found illegal, several months after the fact. [Courthouse News Service]

* CFPB's slow death continues. [Law360]

* Former state House speaker loses law license. [CBS]

Function Health Hits $2.5B Valuation With $298M Series B

Function Health raised a $298 million Series B round, pushing its valuation into unicorn territory at $2.5 billion. The Austin-based startup offers subscribers access to more than 160 lab tests, as well as imaging.

Morning Docket: 11.20.25

* "If you kill this witness, the case will be dismissed," advised attorney. Man, these MPRE hypos are getting super easy. [Toronto Star]

* Trump signs bill to release the Epstein files. Unclear if he drew a woman's curves around it before signing this time. [Reuters]

* Texas governor demands action on Sharia Law, so you know it's a bad news cycle for him. [KXAN]

* White House suggests executive order to block state AI regulations, which is not how the Constitution works. [Axios]

* State AGs want social media addiction handled in one trial so they aren't constantly scrolling for updates. [Law360]

* Harvard releases digitized collection of Nuremberg Trials. [Law.com]

* Shilo Sanders sued by Barnes & Thornburg for unpaid bills. [NY Post]

Congress Should Establish, Fund New Quantum Tech Initiative To Beat China: Panel

The 2025 annual US-China Commission report also urges lawmakers bolster funding to the US Space Force to establish ‘space superiority’ against the PLA.

Morning Docket: 11.19.25

* Meta survives social media antitrust action because TikTok exists. Which it doesn't legally, but the administration has refused to comply with the law so... good news for Meta. [New York Times]

* Court orders former couple to bid for custody of dog. If that doesn't work, she should try threatening to cut it in half. [ABA Journal]

* Trump administration targets whistleblower protections. [Reuters]

* Pillsbury Winthrop hit with data breach. [Law360]

* The argument against releasing the Epstein Files lays out why grand jury materials are normally kept secret. [Vox]

* How might Ashurst and Perkins Coie merger impact Asia? [Law.com International]

Parental Leave 101 For Managers

Managers make or break parental leave experiences yet rarely are trained on the topic. What do they (and law firms) need to know?

Why Shared Savings Still Isn’t A Viable Business Model For Hospitals

Shared savings programs are appealing in theory, but the incentives are too weak and unpredictable to support a scalable business model for hospitals, said Patrick Runnels, chief medical officer of University Hospitals.

Morning Docket: 11.18.25

* Biglaw knows they won’t get people back in the office. But the more days they ask for, the more days they might get. [American Lawyer] * Trump administration pursuing over a hundred Section 111 cases, the nation’s “Stop Hitting Yourself!” statute. [The Atlantic] * Supreme Court takes on case poised to put U.S. out […]