Joe Patrice

  • Tyra Banks RF

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.12.14

    * An “America’s Next Top Model” contestant sued Tyra Banks, claiming she was disqualified from the title because Banks found out she had worked as an escort. You’re looking for people who can walk back and forth in heels over and over. Who did you think was trying out for the show? [Courthouse News Service]

    * Dewey know which DLA Piper department head just declared personal bankruptcy? [New York Times]

    * Coming soon to the hipster haven near you: the artisanal attorney. Hilarious satirical piece by John Frank Weaver. [McSweeney’s]

    * Are you getting married? Are you planning to change your name? Huge mistake. The name part at least. Maybe the married part, I don’t know your deal. [The American Lawyer]

    * The Onion surveys the reaction to the Columbia Law exam policy. [The Onion]

    * You can’t force welfare recipients to get drug tests. Which was kind of obvious but still required a court to weigh in. [Pathologyblawg]

    * A New York judge allegedly stroked his secretary’s face, forced her to give him hugs, and regaled her with explicit tales of sex with his mistress. [New York Post]

    * There’s a wealth of information in this post about the ABA 509 Information Reports. Keith Lee does a year-over-year comparison of the top ten and bottom ten schools, looking for trends. [Associate’s Mind]

    * A BC government official has revoked approval of a law school based upon a pledge to discriminate against “the gays.” [Trinity Western University]

    9 Comments / / Dec 12, 2014 at 5:03 PM
  • lottery

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.11.14

    * A registered sex offender wins the lottery. $3 million buys a lot of windowless vans. [Orlando Sentinel]

    * Judge to federal prosecutor: “You’re branded as a liar and you’ll remain a liar for the rest of your life.” [New York Observer]

    * A New York lawyer has been arrested and charged with running down 5 people in Herald Square. Alcohol and crack pipes are involved. And topless selfies. Look, you’re going to see more on this from Staci in the morning, so just sit tight. [Inquisitr]

    * If you want to live in a mansion, all you need to do is forge a few documents. [Gawker]

    * The Supreme Court of Canada says cops can search your phone when they arrest you. But only to check the Habs score. [Ars Technica]

    * Another installment of Posner on Posner. This time focusing on the First Amendment. [Concurring Opinions]

    * This week we learned there’s a thing called “rectal feeding.” Professor Michael Dorf on why it’s totally a war crime. [Dorf on Law]

    * How many law schools will close by 2020? [TaxProf Blog]

    * Want to be on the LSAC Board of Trustees? It’s not like they have any glaring problems that require a leadership change. [LSAC]

    33 Comments / / Dec 11, 2014 at 5:04 PM
  • photographer-3-camera-photo-picture-pic

    Legal Ethics

    Attorney Facing Suspension Has Nude Pics Past

    Look, I get the inherent appeal of a chronological narrative, but sometimes you just need to lead with your big guns. Like nude pics.

    34 Comments / / Dec 11, 2014 at 12:02 PM
  • 1024px-Flag_of_Alaska.svg

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.10.14

    * An Assistant DA in Barrow, Alaska, was shot and killed the other day, allegedly by a man jealous that his ex-girlfriend had started dating the ADA. [KTUU]

    * Legislature amends law “to protect quacks.” That sounds like a good use of their time. [Slate]

    * David appeared on Today’s Verdict to discuss his new book, Supreme Ambitions. Also on the show was the creator of Lawsuit — The Game, featured in our holiday gift guide for lawyers. [BronxNet]

    * “How Many Bites Do Sloppy Lawyers Get At The Apple?” Oh. I get it. [Redline]

    * Lawrence Mitchell is back and talking about inequality. It’s much more what you’d expect from a legal academic than poetry about ogling women in the park. [Washington Post]

    * Sometimes even squishy toys take a hit: Nerf ordered to pay $73 million in back royalties. [North Dallas Gazette]

    * Congrats to Gawker General Counsel Heather Dietrick on her new role as President. [New York Observer]

    * Sad news: Kirkland associate and Northwestern Law ’13 grad Jeremy Adler died unexpectedly last week. Our thoughts are with his family and friends. [Inside Bay Area]

    1 Comment / / Dec 10, 2014 at 5:31 PM
  • Supreme_Court_US_2010

    Quote of the Day, Supreme Court

    If You Know This Guy, The Supreme Court Would Like To Talk To You

    A pro se litigant with a case set to appear before the Supreme Court has… vanished.

    12 Comments / / Dec 10, 2014 at 4:50 PM
  • HungerGamesPoster

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.09.14

    * New Jersey’s new tort liability ruling is an important first step to a real-life Hunger Games. [The Legal Blitz]

    * A holiday shopping guide to beer and wine involved in intellectual property disputes. Clever. [Trademark and Copyright Law Blog]

    * “There’s an app for that!” Lawyers create “Driving While Black” app for your smartphone. [The Oregonian]

    * Speaking of Oregon, the University of Oregon is in the midst of a teaching strike that not only impacts its football team, but caused an immigration law issue when statements the school made were interpreted as threats to the immigration status of foreign teachers if they joined the strike. [Daily Nous]

    * According to Dean LeDuc, Thomas M. Cooley Law is sad that it failed to sell the Mason Temple building in downtown Lansing to the state senate. Except there’s not really any mention that the state senate was ever interested. Perhaps their interest was reported by the same people behind the Cooley Rankings. [Lansing City Pulse]

    * If you liked Mark Hermann’s rundown of business development tactics, here some other suggestions for what more lawyers and law students could be doing to develop business. [Law and More]

    * New OSHA rules a-comin’. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    3 Comments / / Dec 9, 2014 at 5:30 PM
  • ue1rzou0v0zczi6obyae

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.08.14

    * The NAACP Legal Defense Fund took to Twitter to name every unarmed person of color killed by the police since 1999. Gawker compiled short bios on each. [Gawker]

    * Texas planning to ban the “affluenza” defense. [Lowering the Bar]

    * Pillsbury just moved into a cozy little office. Emphasis on “little.” [The National Law Journal]

    * Georgetown Law students of color raise similar concerns as Columbia students. Again, I don’t understand emotional trauma and I definitely think extensions should be measured in days and not weeks, but it strikes me all the people complaining about the extensions are just exposing themselves as bad students. If you think your neighbor getting 2 more days will hurt your grade, you’re the one with the studying problem. [Georgetown Law Coalition]

    * And now Harvard. [Harvard Law Coalition]

    * If you rent a refrigerator, you consent to an arbitrator hearing your case after a repairman robs and beats you. Sounds about right. [Public Justice]

    * Uber ban after rape allegations. [Redline]

    * The Supreme Court told BP that no matter how much it tried, it can’t slip out of its settlement agreement like an oil-soaked seagull. [Think Progress]

    * Finally, in the wake of the Eric Garner case, it’s worth looking back at what Justice Marshall told us about police chokeholds. [Mother Jones]

    8 Comments / / Dec 8, 2014 at 5:04 PM
  • BMC-group-ad

    Lawyer Advertising, Women's Issues

    Legal Ad Boils Down To ‘Hey, Check Out This Girl’s Boobs’

    “Is this an ad for a strip club or a corporate consultant?” That’s a question readers of a respected bankruptcy journal asked after seeing this ad.

    26 Comments / / Dec 8, 2014 at 4:38 PM
  • Angry

    Benchslaps

    Judge Uses Cartoons To Benchslap Jones Day

    Law firm tried to pull a fast one on a federal judge. The judge was not amused.

    14 Comments / / Dec 8, 2014 at 11:38 AM
  • Oh New York, why did you have to make Caesar angry?

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.05.14

    * New York has rejected recognizing a chimpanzee as a “person.” [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Which law schools are most conservative? Most liberal? [FiveThirtyEight]

    * Elie’s new job as “deal judge.” [Dealbreaker]

    * Lawyer suspended amid accusations that he sexted three clients with nude photos of himself and told one “she could ‘ride bareback’ with him.” [ABA Journal]

    * Duquesne says it denied professor tenure because she was bad at the whole “teaching” part of her job. Whoa! When has that ever mattered to tenure? [TaxProf Blog]

    * Josh and Jess sit down with Judge Matthew Sciarrino to talk about the new Star Wars trailer. I don’t know. Looks kind of boring. We need George Lucas to spice it up with a Special Edition version. [The Legal Geeks]

    * Prosecutor recites “Dixie” at closing argument of a black man’s trial. [Idaho Statesman]

    9 Comments / / Dec 5, 2014 at 4:42 PM
  • columbia_university_statue_cc_img_0

    Law Schools

    Columbia Student Posts Epic Takedown Of Columbia

    You’d think a “Forum on Ferguson” would be a racially sensitive event. Nope.

    112 Comments / / Dec 5, 2014 at 1:32 PM
  • Captainamerica1

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.04.14

    Captainamerica1* Finally something with bipartisan support. Nazis are bad. [Lowering the Bar]

    * 80 year old law student graduates. We would say he’ll literally being paying this off for the rest of his life, but… England. [Legal Cheek]

    * Elie was in the paper today! [New York Daily News]

    * Yesterday we had a partner admitting law firms are targets for hackers. Maybe those hackers should take on the geniuses at Sony. [Gawker]

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    Morning Docket: 12.04.14
    * Looking for a cool job? Here’s one. Seriously, this looks like a great gig for someone looking to get into altLaw. [Diligence Engine]

    * Biglaw runs up big bills. Really big bills. [Last Honest Lawyer]

    * Blast from the past: patent pendency in 1993. [Patently O]

    3 Comments / / Dec 4, 2014 at 5:00 PM
  • scalia-hand

    Supreme Court

    Justice Scalia Tells Women What They’re Worth. Spoiler: Not Very Much.

    Oral argument in Young v. UPS revealed a lot about the justices.

    34 Comments / / Dec 4, 2014 at 2:22 PM
  • cigarette

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.03.14

    * As we’ve addressed, the grand jury declined to indict the officer in the police-cause homicide — per the medical examiner — of Eric Garner. [New York Times]

    * This is a good time to remember Eric Garner was killed for the horrible crime of selling loosies, a product that developed a black market in NYC in response to rising cigarette taxes. Evading cigarette taxes should be a crime. But, like, a “here’s your $50 ticket” crime, not the death penalty. [Huffington Post]

    * An anonymous Georgetown law student has filed suit against the school and one of its instructors, Rabbi Barry Freundel, for “luring her to the bath as part of her studies at the school.” And who didn’t have that lesson in Civ Pro? [Washington Post]

    * Another in the continuing series looking back on a decade of Chief Justice Roberts. This time looking back at the slow and steady drive to curtail women’s rights. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * Remember the woman suing the owner of the dog that her dogs killed? She’s dropped her suit. [ABC News]

    * The Bar Association of San Francisco is hosting an event next Tuesday featuring Chief Judge Alex Kozinski entitled: The Wizard of Koz. Um, may not be the best time to use to “Cos” sound in a title. But that aside, it promises to be an interesting event if you’re in the area. [San Francisco Bar]

    * Brian Finch of Pillsbury Winthrop talks cyberattacks and admits what everyone else wants to deny: law firms are a weak link in cybersecurity. [Bloomberg TV]

    10 Comments / / Dec 3, 2014 at 5:15 PM
  • Book Racks 2

    Law Schools

    Do 0Ls Have Any Clue About Law School?

    Spoiler alert: No. But now we have empirical evidence!

    53 Comments / / Dec 3, 2014 at 1:05 PM
  • iStock_000034245758_Large

    Law Schools, Racism

    Law School Dean Suggests Black People Lack ‘Reason’ And Other Delightful Post-Ferguson Talk

    And just for good measure, an NYU law student composes a “parody” of the situation and it goes about as well as you’d expect.

    115 Comments / / Dec 2, 2014 at 5:31 PM
  • Scantron

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.02.14

    Scantron* A modest proposal for a new course evaluation form. [LawProfBlawg]

    * An interview with former Senator George Mitchell. Did you know he turned down Justice Breyer’s seat because he wanted “to pass significant health care legislation.” The appropriate 90s response is to cue Nelson Muntz. [Coverage Opinions]

    * George Washington may have doomed your smartphone privacy. But if it makes you feel any better he probably didn’t mean to. [Redline]

    * California lawyers are 35 percent more in debt than they were 6 years ago. [Cal Lawyer]

    * “He sent three clients explicit text messages that included photographs of his erect penis.” Fun addendum: if you read the full opinion, because the associate wrote off his time for sex that was, rightly, the firm’s 8.4 violation! I hope they weren’t the ones who turned him in. [Legal Profession Blog]

    * A panel of legal analysts weigh in on the nomination of Loretta Lynch to succeed Eric Holder as Attorney General and discuss what her nomination means in the context of civil rights. [RH Reality Check]

    * Do you need a live CLE lecture? Pick up 12 credits and grab some drinks with some ATL editors afterward. [Above the Law]

    6 Comments / / Dec 2, 2014 at 5:00 PM
  • bananas

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.01.14

    * What’s happening to all the Bingham partners that are not joining Morgan Lewis? Here’s the latest on the lateral moves of “the Forgotten.” [Reuters (sub. req.)]

    * “Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” That’s not at all what police said after throwing a guy in jail for brandishing a banana. [CBS News]

    * Is it possible to save the Supreme Court from partisanship? [Bloomberg Politics]

    * You think you had a ritzy Thanksgiving dinner? Well, some jackholes somewhere spent $35,000 for a Thanksgiving dinner devoted to conspicuous consumption in a world of inequity. [Daily Kos]

    * Shearman & Sterling’s Richard Hsu continues his wonderful podcast on the lives of lawyers, this week chatting with Sean Patrick Butler, Sr. Corporate Counsel at Cisco, about Butler’s decision to live two hours away from San Francisco to live the rural life. [Hsu Untied]

    * This guy is compiling stats on bar exam testing patterns. He’s got some California data up already. Perhaps with some reader contributions, he can get widespread coverage. [Bar Exam Stats]

    * When it comes to legal scholarship, women are earning more citations than men according to one study. There are a lot of caveats to be had, but it looks like the law has one, finite area where the gender gap is narrow. [TaxProf Blog]

    * One-third of lawyers are taking on more pro bono work these days. Good for them. [Robert Half Legal]

    16 Comments / / Dec 1, 2014 at 5:05 PM

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