* According to this former Supreme Court clerk, Justice Scalia’s judicial zingers are just like porn in that they’re “titillating, but over time they coarsen the culture of which they are a part.” (Plus, for what it’s worth, the jurist’s audience usually never gets a money shot.) [Washington Post]
* Better late than never? The ABA dropped the hammer on law schools trying to game their employment stats with a new rule that’ll force them to report school-funded jobs as part-time unless certain length and salary reqs are met. [WSJ Law Blog]
* The largest of D.C.’s largest law firms grew even larger over the past year, and thanks to a merger, an outsider firm — Morgan Lewis — managed to infiltrate the capital’s Big Four. Sorry, WilmerHale, but maybe 2016 will be your comeback year. [National Law Journal]
* In other ABA news, the Section of Legal Education and Admissions to the Bar rejected a plea for academic credit for paid externships, because we apparently want to keep students as indebted as possible before they begin their professional legal careers. [ABA Journal]
* A judge dismissed a lawsuit filed by Richard Lee, a known conspiracy theorist, who sought the release of the Seattle police department’s death-scene photographs from Nirvana star Kurt Cobain’s suicide. Hey! Wait! He’ll file a new complaint. [Seattle Times]
* Despite the fact that the 25/75 percentile LSAT range for many law schools has dropped precipitously, some schools still care about LSAT scores — because they care about you (and their U.S. News rank). [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* Maryland Law and Baltimore Law are going to be teaming up to launch a solo practice incubator for their recent graduates, and BC, BU, and Northeastern will be doing the same thing in 2016. Full-time, long-term jobs where bar passage is required for all! [National Law Journal]
* The Dacheng Dentons merger has the potential to completely change the legal profession as we know it, or fall flat on its face and be remembered as a good idea that went wrong. It’s been six months, and we’re all still waiting to see what happens. [Financial Times]
* The criminal case against ex-Goldman Sachs programmer Sergey Aleynikov is like the Energizer bunny in that it keeps going, and going, and going, and going. Manhattan DA Cy Vance is appealing Aleynikov’s overturned conviction. [DealBook / New York Times]
* “The unfortunate scenario alleged in the complaint cries out for a legislative fix, not a judicial nix.” As expected, terminally ill civil rights attorney Christy McDonnell’s right-to-die lawsuit was dismissed by a California judge yesterday. How depressing. [AP]
A leading lawyer to the financial services industry, H. Rodgin Cohen of Sullivan & Cromwell, shares some of his wisdom.
* Doesn’t the increasingly bloated Republican presidential primary field seem like a plot from Veep rather than real life? Well, take a break from the world’s insanity and break down the election law quandary from the season finale of the hit show. [Law.com]
* Spoiler alert: the performance art defense doesn’t work. [Dealbreaker]
* Good news for New York Bar Exam takers — don’t stress about grabbing lunch on the day of the exam. [Custom Gourmet]
* This… is not going to end well. China arrested more than 100 human rights lawyers for inciting trouble. [Christian Science Monitor]
* I think it’s entirely possible Harper Lee never intended to publish “Go Set A Watchman” and that makes me hesitant to read the novel, but Harvard Law School professor Randall Kennedy’s call to “abandon the immature sentimentality ingrained by middle school lessons about the nobility of the white savior” has me itching to buy the book. [New York Times]
* Speaking of the incredibly sketchy circumstances under which Harper Lee’s novel was published, maybe it’s time to blame the lawyer? [New Republic]
* Remember that viral video about cat-calling on NYC streets from last year? Yeah, the woman featured is suing the makers of the video (along with Google, YouTube, and TGI Fridays). Only problem? She got nothing in writing. [Slate]
* I sure hope no attorneys were sucked into this M&A fraud. [Forbes]
* OIL AND HEAVY WATER FOR EVERYBODY — a take on the Iran deal. [Breaking Energy]
Prior to the financial crisis, risk management was often a box-ticking exercise of little or no interest to executives.
Most Kickstarter projects never reach the funding threshold, so funders never pay anything into the venture.
* It’s time to start shutting down law schools, but this clearly isn’t something that the American Bar Association is ready to act on. After all, new schools keep popping up, and the ABA keeps accrediting them for reasons beyond understanding. [Bloomberg Business]
* At the end of a landmark Term at the Supreme Court, some presidential candidates are fanning the flames of voters’ fears. Linda Greenhouse asks, “[W]hat, exactly, are people supposed to be afraid of now? A same-sex married couple with affordable health insurance?” [New York Times]
* Eric Holder will return to Covington & Burling, the Biglaw firm from whence he came, and he’ll be there “until [he] decide[s] [he’s] not going to be a lawyer anymore.” This crazy guy says he’d even turn down a SCOTUS nom to continue working there. [Am Law Daily]
* Congrats to Skadden, the firm that ranked numero uno in worldwide deals according to Bloomberg’s quarterly M&A league tables. Davis Polk finished $93 billion behind that, but hopefully the bonuses will be just as sweet this winter. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]
* If you’re planning to enter law school at the end of the summer — especially if you’re a gunner in training — there’s no better way to spend your last months of freedom than to read one (or all of) these law prof-recommended books and papers. [Washington Post]
If there is any question that the SEC is focused on elder investor issues, look no further than its recent program announcement.
* C. Michael Kamps, the man who filed a pro se suit against Baylor Law with claims that he was denied admission because his GPA predated grade inflation, recently lost his bid to get SCOTUS to review his case. It’s too bad — he seems like a total gunner. [ABA Journal]
* If you thought that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was the biggest celebutante justice on the Supreme Court, then you’d be dead wrong. According to Professor Rick Hasen’s research, it’s Sonia Sotomayor who’s stealing the spotlight at the high court. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Senator Elizabeth Warren, the queen of taking Wall Street to task, now has her sights set on SEC Chairwoman Mary Jo White. In a 13-page letter, the politician called the former Debevoise partner’s tenure “extremely disappointing.” [DealBook / New York Times]
* Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert’s arraignment was rescheduled from this Thursday to next Tuesday. No reason was given for the change, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that there’s still “no attorney of record” on the case. [National Law Journal]
* Many doctors are hoping that tort reform will save them from litigating their malpractice cases, but there’s an easy alternative. In order to be sued less often, doctors should try to talk more to their patients. What a novel concept. [The Upshot / New York Times]
* You down with R.B.G.? Yeah, you know me! Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore wants SCOTUS Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to be impeached for having performed same-sex marriage ceremonies. Haters gonna hate. [Huffington Post]
* Here’s a jury duty chart of those you’ll be forced to sit next to, from the “idiot who treats the Jury Foreman selection like a presidential campaign” to the “elderly woman who compares everything to an episode of ‘Matlock’ she once saw.” [Mandatory]
* It turns out that the state trooper who failed to do anything about Josh Duggar’s criminal sexual activity with a minor and allowed the statute of limitations to run had a penchant for child porn. According to court records, this guy is… pretty damn disgusting. [Jezebel]
* “May I please have some of that money you’ve got under the counter there, miss?” Are you really robbing a bank if you acted like a Boy Scout, asked nicely for money, and then received it — to the tune of $28,000? Kevin Underhill doesn’t think so. [Lowering the Bar]
* If you’ve never seen a Dealbreaker dramatic reading before, then here’s your sneak peek. Watch “the greatest intern Wall Street has ever seen” invite everyone and their mother to a party via company email, and then fail in the most epic sense of the word. [Dealbreaker]
The US Attorney’s Office in the Northern District of California recently settled an enforcement action against Ripple Labs Inc., a Delaware corporation providing virtual currency exchange services.