* Today’s NS is all about stupid stuff you shouldn’t do. A woman poured hot bacon grease on an ex-boyfriend “because it was time for him to go.” She’s going to spend a couple of years thinking about whether that was the best way of telling him. [The Seattle Times]
* If you’re the kind of guy to skip hearings in felony narcotics cases, maybe don’t tattoo Tom Brady’s helmet on your skull. [The Smoking Gun]
* Stonewalling federal judicial nominees. Not cool. [The Tennessean]
* What the hell? Bigamy hearing for congressman’s wife delayed for emergency breast implant surgery. [The Big Story / Associated Press]
* It’s another compilation of “crazy laws” from around the country. Whole bunches of stupid stuff you can’t do. [Slate]
* Republicans swear up and down that the Affordable Care Act only provided subsidies for states that create exchanges. But if that’s the plan, they shouldn’t have left a paper trail of explicitly saying the opposite for years. [The New Republic]
Whatever you do, don’t lie to a judge. They really don’t like it when litigants do that.
* Possibly the world’s most expensive sex. It doesn’t involve Ashley Dupré, but it does involve the American health care system. [Daily Telegraph]
* A possible preview of Justice Alito’s upcoming dissent in the marriage equality decision. [The Onion]
* Maybe on the more serious side, here’s Elizabeth Wydra charting the course of the Supreme Court and matrimony in anticipation of the upcoming marriage equality case. [Tampa Tribune]
* Why Best Value is a better alternative to LPTA. This is not a guide for prospective law students, but it could be. [Government Executive]
* A wide-ranging talk with Professor Khiara Bridges of Boston University School of Law about law, reproductive rights, and classical ballet. [Hsu Untied]
* Let the breakdown continue: California’s out of state bar exam pass rates. [Bar Exam Stats]
* The legal fiction that are Biglaw firms. [Think Outside the Bar]
* Looking for some CLE in L.A.? On Thursday, Judge Alex Kozinski and our own David Lat will be chatting about judging, clerking, ethics, and ambition. [Supreme Ambitions]
A unanimous ruling on religion.
Go ahead, take a wild guess.
* On Friday, the Supreme Court agreed to evaluate the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, and this is perhaps the definitive article on how the justices have been preparing the nation for marriage equality. Get ready for some big gay weddings this summer. [BuzzFeed]
* Smile for the camera! Kent and Jill Easter, the infamous helicopter-parenting lawyers who went to jail for attempting to frame a volunteer at their son’s school on drug charges, found themselves at the center of a 20/20 story. [ABC News]
* With it being highly likely that the Supreme Court will declare bans on same-sex marriage by the states unconstitutional, people are wondering which justice will be the one the vote hinges upon. Could it be Chief Justice Roberts? [New Republic]
* Come on now, the swing vote in the same-sex marriage cases will obviously be Justice Kennedy. The legal tea leaves have been read, and with his majority opinions in Romer, Lawrence, and Windsor, the future has been foretold. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Steven Metro, the former managing clerk of Simpson Thacher’s New York office, was finally indicted after being charged with insider trading almost one year ago. If you’re interested, flip to the next page to see the juicy indictment. [Am Law Daily]
* In a new report, the Texas attorney general’s office concluded the forgivable faculty loan program at UT Law not only violated school rules, but also “set into motion a lack of transparency that ultimately led to a lack of accountability.” [Texas Tribune]
* It’s on. SCOTUS grants cert in marriage equality cases. [Supreme Court]
* Law schools are admitting students who have no real hope of passing a bar exam. But keep talking about academic integrity! [TaxProf Blog]
* The Daily Show looks at Alabama’s Attorneys for Fetuses law, the impetus for the CLE “Charging an arm and a leg when your client doesn’t have an arm or a leg.” [Mediaite]
* Justice may get a little more affordable in New York. [LFC360]
* One Virginia lawyer is staying open despite
Counter-Civil Rights DayLee-Jackson Day. [Katz Justice]
* AG Holder puts a stop to the government’s Equitable Sharing program, which was a nice way of saying the “police stealing things from people” program. [Washington Post]
* School chancellor: “After careful consideration, I’ve concluded that enlisting our students as confidential informants is fundamentally inconsistent with our core values.” Would have been better to have figured that out before a student died while acting as an informant. [Redline]
A federal judge professes ignorance of an infamous hand gesture.
On January 8 2015, the US House of Representatives passed H.R. 30, the Save American Workers Act, with a final vote of 252-172. The bill, which would reform the definition of “full-time employee” in the Affordable Care Act to the industry-standard 40 hours per week.
* Fewer people are applying to law school. According to LSAC, the number of would-be lawyers who submitted applications is down by 8.5 percent compared to last year. Serious question: How low can we go before all schools are officially in crisis mode? [WSJ Law Blog]
* You’ll never believe how this guy paid off his law school debt. His parents got a home refi loan, and with the money ($210,000), their son got rid of his student loans. Now he’ll pay his parents’ loan for 30 years. Wow. [Business Insider]
* Justice Samuel Alito took a break from the SCOTUS docket to receive an award named for the late Judge Edward Becker of the Third Circuit, a man who he said “tried to get federal judges to act in a more sensible way. That’s a real task.” [Legal Times]
* “[T]hings are getting back to where they were before the recession,” so naturally, state judges — like those in California — are suing over the salary increases they were denied while the recession was in progress. Bless their hearts. [National Law Journal]
* Hey lawyers, want to seem like you’re smart? Stop sprinkling your briefs with SAT vocabulary words. Just put on a pair of glasses and start using your middle initial more often. For the record, speaking in a pleasant voice is also helpful. [ABA Journal]
* Lagunitas sued Sierra Nevada over beer. Beer connoisseurs pulled themselves out of their own vomit to tweet their disapproval. And it worked, Lagunitas dropped the suit. Imagine if we could harness the power of drunks for good. Or evil. Just anything. [SF Gate]
* Musing that maybe that daunting LSAT was the obstacle keeping students from filling seats, University of San Diego Law just opened up the school to USD grads — no LSAT required. [University of San Diego School of Law]
* Saks has heard the public backlash against its assertion that transgender people deserve no legal protections in the workplace and responded by… reasserting that transgendered people have no rights. [Slate]
* Fashion law isn’t just for Elle Woods acolytes anymore. [Racked]
* Ninth Circuit does not take kindly to a state prosecutor who lied under oath. [Seeking-Justice]
* SCOTUS justices don’t have to recuse themselves, and when they do, they don’t have to explain why. Let’s look at the recusals this Term and venture a guess at why each justice sat out. [Fix the Court]
* NY subways boast some ridiculous safety posters to cover themselves legally. Here’s a breakdown of their latest efforts. [NY Observer]
* Checking in on the always messed up developments down at Manhattan Supreme Court. [Wise Law NY]
* “Good news for law grads and law schools!” article ends up buried in a sea of caveats. Because of course it does. [TaxProf Blog]
How can you ward off an allegedly lecherous colleague? Here’s one idea.
Are judges really able to do better than everyone else and minimize their biases?
The FCC wants Congress to give them guns. Why?
There was a time when orders for securities were straight forward – buy, sell, limit and perhaps a few variations…