Morning Docket

* Allen & Overy finally finds its American match, announcing a deal with Shearman & Sterling. The new firm will be called “A&O Shearman”… for a couple of months before we just call it “Allen & Overy.” [Law360]

* Biden seems unwilling to invoke the Fourteenth Amendment to avoid a government shutdown, though it’s not clear why since there wouldn’t be any injured plaintiff. [Reuters]

* Not that having a viable legal theory matters much to this Supreme Court. So why does the media bend over backward to frame opinions through a legal lens? In fairness, Above the Law more or less stopped trying to do that years ago. [Slate]

* A former Lewis Brisbois COO alleged financial shenanigans back in 2019. Not saying these rumors contributed to over 100 lawyers bailed, but they can’t have helped. [American Lawyer]

* Meta, the artist formerly known as Facebook and likely subsequently to be known as Facebook, receives 1.3 billion Euro fine for GDPR data privacy violations. [The Verge]

* Ty Cobb thinks Trump will end up in jail over classified documents. So don’t expect Cobb to be rejoining the legal team. [Newsweek]

* January 6 probe triggers secretive hearing involving WilmerHale — likely over social media data. [Politico]

* Neil Gorsuch brands COVID-19 health edicts possibly “the greatest intrusions on civil liberties in the peacetime history of this country.” While some might remind him about slavery and segregation, I’m not sure we should be giving him any ideas. [USA Today]

* Mike McKool leaves McKool Smith. Remember Garfield Minus Garfield? It’s like that. [Reuters]

* Judge rejects candy company’s motion to dismiss in case of man trapped inside hardened chocolate for hours. Willy Wonka declined comment. [Legal Intelligencer]

* Nancy Abudu confirmed to the Eleventh Circuit and all it took was a staggering 495 days or so. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* Justice Stevens working papers released. One gem involves Scalia chiding dissenters for worrying about damaging the Court’s legitimacy. That tracks. [ABA Journal]

* As part of broader efforts to diversify the ranks of special masters, some argue for rethinking the language of “master” itself. [Law.com]

* Kari Lake’s election challenge going about as well as her election did. [Courthouse News Service]

* Fifth Circuit judge scolds attorney for “personal attack” because she accurately described the district court opinion as unprecedented. As Inigo Montoya would put it, “I don’t think that word means what Judge Elrod thinks it means. [Slate]

* After watching Disney’s experience beating up on Florida lawyers, Penguin Random House is starting to sue Florida school districts for banning books. [AP]

* Montana has banned TikTok in a reminder that “free speech” is now limited to punishing students for carrying mean signs during FedSoc events. [Wall Street Journal]

* Deutsche Bank paying $75 million to settle claims that the bank facilitated Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking operations. Another win for Boies Schiller Flexner and Edwards Pottinger representing Epstein’s victims. [Reuters]

* Massachusetts US Attorney accused of abuse of power “to achieve a political goal epitomiz[ing] the type of ‘political justice’ that Congress intended to prohibit.” Too bad she wasn’t a judge taking free vacations from parties before the court… she’d be home free by now.[Law360]

* WilmerHale earned 5 percent of its total revenue from Meta, the company you remember as Facebook before they completely retooled to chase a creepy VR chat room that they’ve since killed after costing the company about $13 billion. Which is all to say that Wilmer may want to diversify its revenue streams at this rate. [Bloomberg Law News]

* A discussion of Shadow Docket by Steve Vladeck (affiliate link). [ABA Journal]

* Supreme Court will delve into whether lawmakers can probe Trump’s hotel deal with the government. We’ll see how Harlan Crow weighs in on this. [Politico]

* It’s becoming a mantra but, “Disney’s lawyers are smarter than Ron DeSantis’s lawyers.” [New York Times]

* Legislators press Navy to move faster on Camp Lejeune claims… so we know they’ve been watching late-night TV too. [Bloomberg Law News]

* On the one hand, sleeping with your client while repping her in a divorce is an ethical violation, it did create a new ground for divorce so… getting closer to the finish line! [Law.com]

* Chief legal officers are getting more compensation in the form of bonuses… which just so happens to consistently favor male attorneys because it’s all a game of discriminatory whack-a-mole. [Corporate Counsel]

* Federal Circuit tussle over Judge Pauline Newman’s competency continues, with a special committee asking the judge to respond to a request that she undergo psych evaluations. Imagine if the courts dealt with, I don’t know, taking hundreds of thousands in donor gifts and under-the-table compensation with the same alacrity. [Law360]

* Holograms testifying at trial? It’s like living in the future but just with the frivolous parts. [Reuters]

* John Durham publishes report ripping all the wrongdoing that he could never substantiate during all the years taxpayers paid him to investigate. It’s the legal equivalent of “look, I know she was into me… no I never asked her out, but I stalked her for awhile and I’m positive she’d have totally been into me if I had.” In other words, the perfect document for the Fox audience. [Law360]

* Biglaw attorneys have taken to TikTok and their employers are worried about their online personas. Take the moral panic Biglaw had over the internet, and then Facebook, and then Twitter, and just insert it here. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Wells Fargo puts up a billion dollars to settle shareholder complaints that the bank misled them over its compliance with the orders entered after the last time the bank misled them. [Reuters]

* Law firms are leasing office space again. So much for using the lessons of the pandemic to cut overhead and maybe give clients a break. [American Lawyer]

* Ukraine’s top Supreme Court justice accused of taking massive bribe. Has Harlan Crow ever been to Kyiv? [Radio Free Europe]

* LSAT lives to fight another day as ABA halts its new rule to make the exam optional in the admissions process. Nothing inspires confidence like an accrediting body that repeatedly changes its mind! [Reuters]

* Britney Spears paid Greenberg Traurig over $4 million in the aftermath of her conservatorship. It seems as though people who care about her could’ve saved her a lot of money by ending the conservatorship without requiring lawyers get involved, huh? [TMZ]

* Firms may be trying to push people back to the office, but the hybrid work experience is also fueling creative lateral recruitment because firms care a lot less about office time when lawyers are bringing over fat books of business. [Law.com]

* The absurdist YSL case continues with an attorney curing a contempt rap with an order of wings. [WSB]

* Prince Harry will be the first royal to testify in court in over a century. I guess congratulations are in order for Prince Andrew somehow failing to break that record first. [Deadline]

* Former attorney who fled the country after killing his girlfriend in “self-defense” convicted of murder. [New York Times]

* Actress Fran Drescher writes about tax law for Bloomberg. It all makes sense. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Noticed the big changes in US News’ law school rankings? Here’s your primer. [Reuters]

* When pigs cause splits: Who knew pork could fragment SCOTUS so? [Slate]

* Not only are the incessant conversations about the debt ceiling annoying — the whole concept of the ceiling could be unconstitional. [Vox]

* Bearing witness is hard enough without having to deal with a judge’s unwelcome remarks. [ABA Journal]

* Guess which state doubled down on it being okay to own a gun before your first beer? [Reuters]

* The new US News rankings are out for everyone to complain about and the final tally of boycotting law schools rests at 63. Congratulations… the rankings make even less sense now than before because of you! [Law.com]

* On that note, the new US News rankings also devalued faculty expertise… right when institutions in GOP-led states are attacking tenure. Great job! [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* First Circuit tosses Varsity Blues conviction, which is great news for admissions officers looking to earn some on the side. [Law360]

* Dianne Feinstein returns to the Senate allowing the Judiciary Committee to sort of function again. And all it cost is some self-imposed elder abuse. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Fani Willis drops objection to Kimberly Debrow now that the lawyer has shed a couple more clients. Honestly unsure what’s worse: the prosecutor trying to get you kicked off the case or the prosecutor then deciding, “you know what… we’re happy to have you represent the defendants.” [NY Times]

* Antitrust is broken and willing prosecutors aren’t enough to fix it because corporate stooge judges make taking a case to trial poses too much risk. And Democratic nominees have been largely to blame. [American Prospect]

* University of Maryland forced to end its streaming service after being reminded that it doesn’t own its streaming rights. This is what happens when you try to come out of your shell. [Washington Post]

* Donald Trump follows up loss in E. Jean Carroll defamation case by calling her a liar. Crackerjack legal team this guy’s got. [NY Times]

* Law school deans scrambling to save the LSAT, seeking a rule requiring no more than 25 percent of grads admitted without a test. You know, before y’all blew them off, you could’ve worked with U.S. News to tank the rankings of schools that overused the non-test option. But you just had to throw your fit, didn’t you? [Reuters]

* Article poses that legal churn makes law firms inherently unstable. Yeah… that’s how free markets work. [American Lawyer]

* DOJ racking up wins in crypto cases. [Law360]

* Study confirms there’s no returning from hybrid work schedules no matter what the firms may want. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Client suing Herrick Feinstein for $1.1B over blown deadlines. [Bisnow]

* Senate Democrats ask Harlan Crow for details on all gifts granted to Clarence Thomas… or any other justice. A request that he’ll ignore and the Democrats won’t do anything about. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Donald Trump allowed limited access to evidence against him in criminal trial, only in the presence of his attorneys in a bid to prevent the defendant from causing a social media firestorm. Aw… after this many years, folks still think Trump listens to his lawyers? [Law360]

* Disney’s superior attorneys are just going to keep updating this complaint every time Ron DeSantis digs himself a little deeper. [Deadline]

* Sam Bankman-Fried asks judge to dismiss 10 of 13 charges against him because if anyone knows a worthless claim when he sees one it’s Sam Bankman-Fried. [Reuters]

* Despite doom and gloom from firms cutting headcount, the industry overall is in recovery… but Biglaw and Small Law are taking different paths back to the summit. [American Lawyer]

* An interview with Steven Thomas, a former Sullivan & Cromwell partner who started his own practice focusing on litigating against Big 4 audit firms for failing to detect fraud at their clients. [Oh My Fraud]

* Leonard Leo had Kellyanne Conway funnel tens of thousands of dollars from a non-profit to Ginni Thomas without a paper trail and with the explicit direction “No mention of Ginni, of course.” Totally normal and above-board thing to do! [Washington Post]

* Ed Sheeran prevailed in his copyright case as sharing chord progressions don’t make songs similar. [Law360]

* If a whistle blows in the woods and the bank can retaliate without repercussion, does it make a sound? The Supreme Court seems hopeful that the answer is no. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Ivanka Trump targeted by NYAG over discovery obligations with investigators leery of “why her volume of emails dropped from 1,200 per month in 2014 to 37 in 2016.” Yes, what could have happened in 2016 that inspired some urgency to curtail the digital paper trail? [Huffington Post]

* Google and Sonos head to trial in patent dispute over smart devices. Hey, Alexa? Why are you laughing? [Reuters]

* Biglaw financials are strong… so of course everyone’s talking about layoffs because America is going to gaslight itself into a recession one way or another. [American Lawyer]

* Court issues more sanctions over false voter fraud claims, tagging Arizona gubernatorial loser Kari Lake. Which probably makes her the front-runner for Trump’s running mate. [The Hill]

* Harlan Crow paid for Clarence Thomas to send his kid to private school?!?! Honestly, I’m starting to think ProPublica brilliantly slow-played all these stories to give the Wall Street Journal and Fox maximum opportunity to embarrass themselves by going all in on “personal hospitality exception” before dropping this. [ProPublica]

* Now Trump says he will probably attend his own rape trial. But his legal team has yet to amend its prior position that it would not call any witnesses so he’s just planning to hang out. [Reuters]

* CFTC Inspector General suspended pending investigation into squelching whistleblower complaints. [Law360]

* DeSantis selling merchandise designed to invoke the Disney trademark because he hasn’t given them enough to sue him over. [Bloomberg Law News]

* And because no one in Florida government understands that admitting to abusing public office is a problem for its legal claims, the legislature is passing bills to crackdown on the Disney Monorail. [Forbes]

* Lewis Brisbois chair steps down following mass exodus. [The Recorder]

* McDonald’s franchise caught employing 10-year-olds. [NPR]

* Twilight of the screamer: Attorneys who cling to the toxic Biglaw management style are losing out. Which probably makes them mad. [American Lawyer]

* The Third Circuit is going ahead with its humane filing deadline proposal over vocal dissent. If they hate it so much, they’re free to file a complaint… during regular business hours. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Trump will not testify in the E. Jean Carroll trial. A bold move to rely on that cross. [Law360]

* Will artificial intelligence finally end the billable hour? Probably not. [The Recorder]

* Elon Musk doesn’t really have a plan B if a new lawsuit successfully shuts down SpaceX’s half-baked launchpad. [Reuters]

* An update on Harvey, the AI tool deployed by Allen & Overy. [Business Today]

* John Quinn opines on AI and intellectual property. [Forbes]

* Leonard Leo used his Federalist Society contacts to secure $1.6 billion donation, which Politico suggests might “raise questions about its nonpartisan, non-political status.” Nope. We had no questions. [Politico]

* Joe Tacopina’s second day of cross-examination somehow managed to be worse according to Mitchell Epner. [Daily Beast]

* Though he may not be around for long, as eyes turn toward whether or not Joe Tacopina is conflicted out of the Donald Trump case because of past interactions with Stormy Daniels. What are the odds this is all heading toward some half-baked mistrial motion? I’m guessing around 1 in… 1. [Law360]

* All that Zooming and Teamsing (yet another reason Teams sucks — no good way to convert the product name into an activity) during the pandemic left the Justice Department a treasure trove of material. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Hollywood writers go on strike. Now you’re stuck with all the online journalists for your entertainment needs. [Reuters]

* Midsized law firms are embracing emerging companies practice while bigger firms grow more cautious. [American Lawyer]

* UK regulators investigating the abuse of NDAs. [LegalCheek]

* Donald Trump seeks mistrial after judge refused to let defense counsel play fast and loose with the definition of “bringing a rape charge.” Yeah, the argument “it’s unfair that you were more precise” is rarely a winner. [Reuters]

* Smoke grenades used to intimidate barrister. Damn, maybe things aren’t more civil across the pond. [Roll on Friday]

* So, if uncovering the securities fraud is likely to bankrupt the company, whistleblowers are better off looking the other way? Great incentive system! [Bloomberg Law News]

* North Carolina overrules precedent from last year because nothing matters and it’s just a superlegislature. [Law360]

* Sugar daddy lawyer sued young woman for $166 million. It did not work well for him. [Insider]

* Maritime firm Ince seemed destined for Davy Jones’s locker, but Axiom has thrown in a life preserver. [Splash 247]

* A profile on how ASS Law leverages Supreme Court connections to artificially inflate its apparent prestige. [NY Times]

* … and of course this leveraging includes vacation boondoggles for right-wing justices. [Mother Jones]

* Much like everyone else, law firms have no interest in paying Twitter. [LegalCheek]

* Lawyers think the profession has gotten less civil, but that’s just what those degenerate scumbags would say. [ABA Journal]

* A nice guide to the lawyers working with Jack Smith on Trump’s classified documents case. [ABC News]

* No sooner did we note in this here column that New York would rewrite the rules to make criminal defense work even harder than NYC’s prosecutors reversed their push for the change. They don’t have a vote, but it’s taken a lot of the effort. [NY Times]

* Eleventh Circuit issues 2-1 opinion that suppressing the rights of Black voters is acceptable, but only if you’re coy enough. [Reuters]

* DC Circuit won’t break up Meta’s Instagram and WhatsApp acquisitions. If only they could undo the whole “Meta” part of Facebook. [Law360]

* Former sex crimes prosecutor breaks down the little things from the first day of Trump’s rape trial. [Daily Beast]

* John Roberts refuses to comply with Senate subpoena. But sometimes it’s worth setting off a constitutional crisis over… graft. [CNN]

* It’s sentencing day for Steve Bannon’s fake wall charity buddies! [Reuters]

* Almost twice as many young associates hope to make partner than in the same poll a couple of years ago. [American Lawyer]

* UK blocks Microsoft’s bid to takeover Activision Blizzard. At least prove they can push Starfield out the door before letting them run Call of Duty. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Expert witness tells jury that Juul knew it was marketing to kids. Juul’s manufacturer denies the charge while taking a deep drag of FrootLoops-flavored smoke from its glowing neon device. [Law360]

* New York on the brink of blocking criminal defense attorneys from timely access to key discovery so the governor can claim that it’s tough on crime for the handful of criminal defendants acquitted have worse odds. [New York Times]

* Which Supreme Court justice sold a nearly $2 million property to the head of Greenberg Traurig and then left the identity of the purchaser blank on the disclosure form? [Politico]

* Donald Trump’s rape trial begins today. Here’s a short primer. [Reuters]

* But if criminal law is more your fancy, Fulton County DA Fani Willis provided a July 11 timeline for criminal charges in Georgia election interference suit. [Law360]

* The legal industry is in desperate need of more financial regulation lawyers. After a couple bank failures, we should probably be more concerned about having more financial regulations first, but I digress. [The Recorder]

* Financial regulation lawyers who can help the heads of failed banks avoid turning over their multimillion dollar compensation packages. [Bloomberg Law News]

* University of Arizona College of Law moves back to online learning in response to investigation of “possible threat.” [KGUN]

* Law schools defiantly bucked U.S. News and World Report. Now they face the inevitable consequences of their own actions. [NY Times]

* Elon Musk’s management of Twitter just keeps getting worse. [Bloomberg Law News]

* NFT insider trading case begins. [Reuters]

* Bed Bath & Beyond files for bankruptcy amid sagging Beyond sales. [Law360]

* Associate latering down 66 percent. [American Lawyer]

* Fox’s Dominion settlement likely to only cost the company about three-fourths of the total. So they’ve got that going for them! [Huffington Post]

* Cop who killed Breonna Taylor has a new law enforcement job because in many offices that behavior is a feature not a bug. [Forbes]

* Senate calls Chief Justice Roberts to testify about judicial ethics… for some reason. [Huffington Post]

* Bringing lawyers back from their home offices inspired offices to embrace collaborative work spaces. Unfortunately, lawyers still require solitude to do many if not most core tasks. [American Lawyer]

* ABA data breach gets worse as investigation determines exposed usernames and passwords. [Law360]

* Berkeley adopts AI policy for final exam. Students can’t use generative AI in a way that constitutes plagiarism, “which Berkeley defines as repackaging the ideas of others.” Not sure how caselaw works into that definition, but whatever. [Reuters]

* Skadden hires judge who approved its opioid client’s bankruptcy. Like… was Sullivan just not hiring? It seems as though there are a lot of firms out there that wouldn’t require this logistical morass. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Texas is on track to require posting the Ten Commandments in public classrooms, in case you were wondering about the long-term impact of the Supreme Court giving that football coach back the job he didn’t seem to want back. [Texas Tribune]