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Canada View From Up North Many judges suffer from a grave condition called T.S.S. (Tightened Sphincter Syndrome). You don’t have to conduct an intimate examination of a judge’s nether regions to determine if he/she has T.S.S. You can pretty much guess from the symptoms: constant grumpiness, a dour expression, words chosen to make onlookers feel the immense gravity of court proceedings, decisions pronounced as if only a fool would dare appeal them, etc., etc.

Sadly, T.S.S. is not fatal, but it does make everyone who comes into contact with an infected judge feel flu-like symptoms.

Justice Joseph Quinn of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice does not suffer from T.S.S. Whatever the opposite of T.S.S. is, this dude (and I say “dude” with the highest respect) has it. Take this sentence from his epic ruling in The Hearing Clinic (Niagara Falls) Inc. v. 866073 Ontario Limited: “Fridriksson has taken everyone on a hideously time-consuming and obscenely expensive journey down his private yellow brick road to the outskirts of the Emerald City where, it appears, he has a residence. It was not a worthwhile adventure.”

Find me another judge who invokes The Wizard of Oz to stick a broomstick up a deserving plaintiff’s butt. This case is delicious for so many reasons….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The View From Up North: Funny Judge”

hire me girl* Squire Patton Boggs may be lobbying for Ebola drugs, but Reed Smith has launched a Global Ebola Task Force. Don’t worry, folks, the firm doesn’t want to “sensationalize” the outbreak. [Washingtonian]

* Hong Kong is great for lawyers interested in corporate misconduct. “I’ve barely had a weekend off for the last eight months,” says this partner who’s really excited about a not having a life. [Bloomberg]

* As we noted, New York is considering adopting the Uniform Bar Exam. Touro Law’s dean thinks the format change could be “jolting” for students, but the head of the NY BOLE doesn’t agree. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Wayne State Law is freezing tuition and giving a scholarship to incoming student that’s equal to a 14 percent tuition cut. That’s one way to combat a 13 percent drop in enrollment. [Detroit Free Press]

* Whittier Law is one of the “most challenged” when it comes to its graduates’ ability to obtain legal employment. Just one in four students gets to be a lawyer after graduation. [Orange County Register]

Jonathan Dach

Jonathan Dach

The past few weeks haven’t been much fun for Jonathan Dach. This promising young lawyer, a Yale College (2008) and Yale Law School (2013) graduate, found himself fingered by the Washington Post as the alleged client of a Colombian prostitute.

Why would anyone care about a young man hiring a prostitute in a jurisdiction — Cartagena, Colombia — where prostitution is legal? This allegedly all went down during the visit by President Obama to Colombia in which a bunch of Secret Service agents got in trouble for patronizing prostitutes, so the claim is that the White House protected one of its own — Dach, a White House volunteer at the time, is the son of a big-time Democratic donor — while hanging the Secret Service agents out to dry. And Dach now works at the State Department on a portfolio of women’s issues, which adds to the awkwardness.

But are the allegations even true? Various folks, both within the Yale community and beyond it, are rallying to Dach’s defense — and forcefully denying the claims against him. What do they have to say?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “In Defense Of Jonathan Dach”


Alito* That didn’t take long. John Oliver’s Supreme Court dogs have already been used to recreate Hobby Lobby. The entire Hobby Lobby argument. [Above the Law]

* Squire Patton Boggs is representing the pharmaceutical company promoting Ebola drugs. Or, as CNN would put it, EVERYONE AT SQUIRE PATTON BOGGS HAS EBOLA!!!! [Law and More]

* China Central Television advises citizens not to name themselves “Lawyer.” Good advice. [CCTV News]

* Slate posits that appealing gay marriage decisions to the Supreme Court may violate Rule 11. They’re wrong, but that’s what they’re positing. [Slate]

* Dr. Ruth is incredibly impressive. Next time you complain about the job market, try moving somewhere with no understanding of the language and getting your own TV show. [What About Clients?]

* Documentary about eDiscovery going on a six-city tour. This way other people can understand how much it sucks to do document review. [Bloomberg BNA]

* UC Hastings students are protesting their own graduation. [Change.org]

* Judges are an autocratic lot, and as long as we inflate the criminal justice system, many of them will be subpar and autocratic, which is an unfortunate combination. [Katz Justice]

* A man arrested for a carjacking and shooting up an apartment last week is — per our sources — a law student at Florida Coastal. Probably testing out the Crim issue spotter. [News4Jax]

* Are lawyers the new dentists? Or something like that. [TaxProf Blog]

* Man attempting suicide by cop told detectives he’d wanted to be killed and was disappointed in the officers’ marksmanship. [Seattle Times]

wq41sylbjyoqaqrfigxyCase #1: Cops will terrorize your child to keep it safe.

Did you know that if you are carrying a baby in a baby bjorn while riding a bike, you need to put a bike helmet on the baby? I didn’t. Neither did San Francisco father Takuro Hashitaka.

San Francisco police stopped Hashitaka, who was biking with his ten-month-old secured by the bjorn and a sweater. They informed him of this curious, well intentioned, though a bit invasive regulation in the most “COPS” way possible….

Continue reading “The Verdict: Safety First” on Redline

aging_ghost

[Plaintiff alleges he was extorted out of $90,000 on threat of] the defendant using the souls of the baby ghosts in the possession or control of the defendant to curse the plaintiff if he did not provide the funds.

– The complaint of Jian Liang Hu, filed in British Columbia by lawyer Mark B. Thompson. Jian claims he was blackmailed by spooky dead babies. I’d like to think dead baby souls have more on their agenda than settling scores for unscrupulous businesspeople. Like watching Frozen 10 times a day like live babies do.

Philadelphia_skyline_from_south_street_bridgeIt’s only a couple weeks away. ATL is heading to Philadelphia, and if you’re a law student, we want to get you a drink after class. We’ve visited a bunch of cities before but somehow we’ve always missed Philadelphia. No longer, thanks to our friends at Kaplan Bar Review.

Details and a form to officially RSVP are below.

Tell your friends and come on down…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Philly Law Students: Come Hang Out November 5th”

kirkland RFEarlier this year, we noted a number of departures of private-equity partners from Kirkland & Ellis, a traditional leader in the PE space (and the #2 firm in our new law firm rankings). But K&E has also picked up partners in this practice area as well, including Sean Rodgers and Rick Madden, plus Andrew Calder and Anthony Speier in Houston.

This week the revolving door spins again at Kirkland, with the departure of a lawyer who has served in leadership roles at K&E. Who is he, and where is he going?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Musical Chairs: Kirkland & Ellis Loses Another Prominent Private-Equity Partner”

law_school1-e1366307549559Give this ad agency a medal because they know their target audience. If the goal is reaching college students who break into Pavlovian wretching at the mere mention of the other local university, just rip that rival to shreds in the name of business. Imagine Springfield U. and Springfield A&M with law schools.

Anyway, a tipster sent us a shot of a new ad that takes it to that hated rival…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “New Attack Ads Brutalize Rival Law School”

Sometime around about 5 years ago, I noticed people starting putting this at the end of their emails:

consider

That’s a webdings font character of a tree and not an image file, in case you were wondering.

Whoever the first person was who did this clearly lived in a different world than me — a world where lawyers would get emails on their computers and would just keep printing them out and putting them into binders to read later. In that world, I could see why someone would want to speak up. On planet Earth, however, that is not the case. Emails occasionally get printed to get filed in a correspondence file, or they get printed as trial exhibits, but that’s about it. They are only a tiny fraction of the paper lawyers waste. This is the Kony 2012 of the environmental battles — it’s a noble war, but a pointless battle. There are many more righteous green battles to be fought in the environmental war than the faux epidemic of lawyers who refuse to stop printing their emails. Instead the “please consider the environment” email signature is more like one of those “I voted” stickers — both serve no purpose other than proclaiming your self-righteousness for performing a civic duty.

In order for that disclaimer to have served a beneficial purpose to the environment, there had to be a conversation just like this somewhere:

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “‘Please Consider the Environment Before Printing’ Email Signatures Are Hurting the Environment”

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