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Size Matters: Breaking Up Need Not Be Hard To Do

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Ed. note: This is the latest installment of Size Matters, one of Above the Law’s new columns for small-firm lawyers.

We all know that sometimes relationships end. Take Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper. As my friend (who is a divorce attorney) always says, if things are not working out, end it and do not buy real estate together.

This is true not only with bad relationships, but with bad jobs. I have received emails and had conversations with several small-firm attorneys who are unhappy. One woman emailed me that she worked at a small firm where she had to work in a poorly heated office with roaches and screamers (I guess she worked on a pirate ship). One man told me that he was repeatedly forced to cancel his vacations for faux emergencies. I have heard many different tales of experiences that range from unpleasant to abusive.

The idea of quitting a job (even a bad one) in this economy seems heretical to many. But, it shouldn’t. A recent study suggests that working at a bad job may be more harmful than being unemployed….

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.03.11

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* Wesley Snipes wants the Supreme Court to review his conviction. Or maybe he’s just doing research because he wants the lead role in a Clarence Thomas biopic: The Silence. [TaxProf Blog]

* Congratulations to David Rivkin of Debevoise & Plimpton — a man who I remember as having great seats at Shea Stadium — for scoring one for the Americans. [Am Law Daily]

* Speaking of Debevoise, I probably could have used these tips on how to resign gracefully from my former firm. Instead, I think I stood up in the middle of a conference room and started shouting, “give us, us free.” [Corporette]

* Why do law school administrators act like telling the truth is one option among many, instead of a professional responsibility? [Vault]

* You can pick up a sex slave at the Super Bowl? [Change Makers]

* Doesn’t New York State understand that judges are kind of important? [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* Honestly, do you think that the diversity rationale for affirmative action also justifies having a preference for white males in some situations? [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Ha ha. Northwestern college kids need to see a live sex act in order to learn. [Reuters]

* If you’re on Facebook — and who isn’t? — feel free to “like” Above the Law. We’ll be getting busy on FB in the weeks ahead (like we already are on Twitter, @ATLblog). [Facebook]

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Biglaw Baby Making 101

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There’s been so much talk of Biglaw women and baby making floating around the blogosphere this week that I think there must have been a “repopulate the species” action memo in US Weekly. Existentially, I blame the season. It’s January, and childless professional women just went through another holiday season getting bombarded with images of children on television (to say nothing of little nieces or nephews that might have been swarming like locusts when they visited family). They return back to their regularly scheduled lives, many of them with raises or bonuses for the new year, and now they’re looking around at their barren apartments and thinking, “What am I missing?”

You’ll see the same thing happen to men… after the Superbowl. They’ll watch the game and have fond memories of their dad or uncle or somebody teaching them fun things they can do with balls. Then post-Superbowl depression will set in, and you’ll see men sleepwalking through “honey-do” errands with vacant, suicidal looks on their faces. They’ll look around at fathers who don’t even seem to care which NCAA teams are on the bubble, and they’ll think, “What am I missing?”

But this week it’s women who are having replication pangs. Clear as I can tell, Vivia Chen on The Careerist started the ball rolling in the legal blogosphere by repackaging a Slate XX Factor article (by Dahlia Lithwick) that featured one woman telling other women that they were hobbling their careers by planning for a family before they had one.

And since women generally can’t stand to even be in the same room with each other, it wasn’t too long before everybody was rolling out their best women-dogging-other-women content….

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Non-Sequiturs: 11.30.10

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Usually, the green pallor doesn't set in until she's been an associate for a year.

* Some tips for people who need to look older so potential employers and clients will take them seriously. Or you could actually live a little and let nature do her thing. [Corporette]

* Law as a business will survive this recession. Law as a profession probably won’t, not at the prices these law schools are charging. [My Law License via ABA Journal]

* Now that they’re getting a pay freeze, I expect the SEC porno-per-regulation ratio to shift even more heavily towards porn. [Dealbreaker]

* Lawyers need to be great at customer service. Having legs is optional with today’s modern advances. [What About Clients?]

* Remember that little wrinkle in world history where every civilized western nation had banned slavery except the United States? I thought about that when I read that the U.K. banned the exports of lethal injection drugs to America. Are we going to have to fight over this or can we peacefully agree that the Eighth Amendment is enough? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Above the Law has been nominated in the ABA Journal’s Blawg 100 contest. Thanks to all the readers who support us, and of course the ones who vote for us. Check out the full Blawg 100. Above the Law is in the news category. But if you if you click over to the niche category, you’ll notice that Kashmir Hill’s excellent work on privacy matters has also earned a much deserved nomination. [ABA Journal]

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Keep Those Breasts Firm… Appropriate

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Ed. note: The following piece was authored by The Legal Tease, of Sweet Hot Justice fame. Check out her other musings from Sweet Hot Justice here.

You may have noticed that people working in Big Law are more pissed off than usual lately. And I can’t say that I blame them. The threat of associate layoffs still looms large. A six-figure salary barely keeps you off food stamps. White shoe firms are crawling with bed bugs. And herpes. But it looks like there’s a new kid on the block — a pair of kids, actually — gaining traction as the latest target for Big Law acrimony, at least if the state of affairs in and around my firm is any indication: Boobs. Or more to the point, how front and center they should be when it comes to dressing for work.

Now, arguments over appropriate sartorial choices for the workplace, breast-related or otherwise, are nothing new. Panels have been convened over them. Entire websites have been launched about them. Lawsuits have been waged because of them. But when the argument focuses on the degree of exposure — or lack thereof — of female breasts in the workplace, especially in a legal workplace, that’s when tempers really start to get out of control.

I can tell you’re already starting to get a little hot under the collar, aren’t you? OK, look, let’s all just calm down, take a deep breath, and take a tour of some photographic evidence….

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Non-Sequiturs: 08.18.10

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* We know you love rankings. Here are the top 25 national universities and liberal arts colleges, according to the 2011 U.S. News college rankings. [TaxProf Blog]

* CHECK YOU ETHICS? In the seemingly endless Barbie/Bratz litigation, lawyers from Orrick, which now represents Bratz maker MGA, have accused Mattel lawyers from Quinn Emanuel of participating in an elaborate corporate espionage scheme. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Give her a gold-plated gavel: Wisconsin Law professor Victoria Nourse, nominated to the Seventh Circuit, has a net worth of almost $20 million. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* Do you hate parking boots? So does this guy — and his taking a stand against them might bring about legal change in the U.K. [AltTransport]

* That one count of conviction against Blagojevich? Give the credit for it to Justice Scalia. [American Spectator]

* Corporette asks her readers: What is your best interview advice? [Corporette]

* Danielle Chiesi, a central figure in the Galleon Group insider trading case, knows how to get what she wants. [Dealbreaker]

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Wearing Peep-Toe Shoes to Court? Women Judges Weigh In

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Earlier today, on the Senate floor, debate took place on whether to confirm Solicitor General Elena Kagan as the nation’s 112th Supreme Court justice. The Kagan nomination is not very controversial, due to the nominee’s impeccable credentials and the Democrats’ 59 votes in the Senate.

In the legal blogosphere, a far more divisive debate is raging, over a subject just as important as confirming the fourth woman ever to the Supreme Court: Are peep-toe shoes appropriate professional footwear? Can female attorneys wear them to the office? What about to court?

The debate was ignited over at The Careerist, by Vivia Chen (no style slouch herself — not many legal journalists own floor-length mink coats). Chen recounted this anecdote:

Waiting in line in the ladies room at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel recently, I heard this discussion: “In my day, I always wore pumps to court,” said in a woman in her fifties. “Can you believe this associate went to court with open-toe shoes?” Her companion shook her head, then asked: “How did she do?” The first woman replied, “Her work was good, but her shoes weren’t right.”

Chen then surveyed a number of lawyers, from around the country, and they could not reach a consensus on the appropriateness of peep-toe shoes. The debate continued over at the ABA Journal, where a post by Debra Cassens Weiss generated a flurry of comments.

Given that so many law firms are business casual nowadays, it is probably safe to wear peep-toe shoes to the office. The fashion guidelines issued by the New York office of Weil Gotshal, for example, officially bless “open toe or open heel shoes.” (Still unacceptable: “Athletic shoes, clogs, beach shoes, flip flops, beach shoes.”)

But what about wearing peep-toe shoes to court? On this subject, we decided to turn to the experts: namely, a panel of fabulous female federal judges….

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.30.10

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* Do you need an attitude makeover at your job? [Corporette]

* More good news. Firms intend to increase summer hiring this year. [Am Law Daily]

* The natural evolution of the “do not call” list. [Legal Blog Watch]

* I wonder if we should all stop talking about the Arizona immigration law until it (inevitably) ends up before the Supreme Court? Naw… it’s too much fun. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Lobbyists are making some serious bank. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* Surely lawyers will find a way to generate fees out of the Dodd-Frank financial reform bill. Somebody has to tell the banks what they can pay their own people. [Concurring Opinions]

* If you absolutely have to kill somebody, make sure you bet on black. If you kill a white person, you’re three times more likely to get the death penalty. [ABA Journal]

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Summer Fashion Tips

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Image from The Ladders' Summer Fashion article

This month’s heat wave forced professional types to start desperately thinking about whether spaghetti straps and speedos are appropriate attire for the office. (Hint: they’re not.)

Many offices do go casual over the summer, though. At Weil Gotshal, for example, you can buy your way into a pair of jeans on Friday. Says a tipster (with some high-rise excitement):

did you hear that weil is starting jeans fridays for july and august as a test run and potentially forever! in order to participate, we must pay $5 to go to a designated charity each month. we have had these $5 jeans fridays in the past maybe every other month… but now it’s every friday!

The downside: Those who don’t turn up in jeans on Fridays are revealed as either ridiculously stuffy or too cheap to give to charity.

Need help with clothing choices this summer? A recent career newsletter from The Ladders had a useful feature on summer fashion, including dos and don’ts. The photo at right is among those featured. Is it a fashion do or a don’t?

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.13.10

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* George Steinbrenner (R.I.P.), always a shrewd businessman, passed away at just the right time to avoid the estate tax. [CBS]

* John Yoo’s defense of the defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). [Ricochet]

* Latino Major League Baseball players are threatening to boycott the 2011 All-Star game (which is currently set to be held in Phoenix). If they want to really do something, they’ll boycott spring training complexes throughout Arizona. Remember, when the NFL threatened to pull the Super Bowl, Arizona managed to get its head out of its ass over Martin Luther King day. These kinds of protests can really have an effect. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Israeli victims of Hezbollah rocket attacks are bringing a lawsuit against Qatar-based Al-Jazeera over what they put on T.V. in Israel. Logically, this suit is being filed in the SDNY. [Legal Blog Watch]

* When is it appropriate to pull a summer associate aside and say “really, you’re wearing that to work”? [Corporette]

* When cops attack it really helps if they are not acting as cops. [Bad Lawyer]

* The alleged liberal bias among the mainstream media doesn’t seem to be doing Eliot Spitzer a whole lot of good. [Salon]

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