Quote of the Day

Hilarious. I wouldn’t put it on my business, but still, it’s quirky.

– Matt McEntee, a resident of Bangor, Maine, commenting on the “imposing” signage — a life-size cut-out advertising the legal services of Stephen C. Smith — that stands “glowering” over the downtown area. After receiving several complaints about the lawyer’s portrait, city officials decided to review whether the sign violated municipal code.

‘My married life was so ruff before law school…’

I’ve been married 37 years. I know how to argue. I want to learn how to win.

– Nelson Bauersfeld, a third-year student at Syracuse University Law, revealing just one of the reasons he decided to go to law school as a retiree in his 60s. The 65-year-old, who debt-financed his entire legal education, will graduate tomorrow.

Former Dean Lawrence Mitchell

[N]one of us really know the facts of what happened. There’s an overall sense of not knowing what happened, not knowing who may be in the right, not wanting to make any really strong statements without having that kind of knowledge. We’re law professors — we want to let the justice system play out and hopefully to get to the bottom of this.

– Case Western Professor Cassandra Robertson, discussing the tumultuous exit of Dean Lawrence Mitchell in a comprehensive account of Mitchell’s rise and fall on the shores of Lake Erie entitled Sex, Politics and Revenge, by Doug Brown of The Scene.

(A tawdry tidbit about the former dean engaging in PDA, after the jump.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Dean Lawrence Mitchell Was Making Out… Where?”

It still doesn’t even really feel real. Between helping Kony [Ealy] get prepared and also leading up to my law school graduation, I’ve been so busy.

Joseph Clayborne, a third-year law student at Loyola University Chicago School of Law, commenting on his experiences as Ealy’s football agent in the weeks before the 2014 NFL Draft. Clayborne’s client will likely be an early round draft pick, but Clayborne still has to write a paper and take his last final before he can really celebrate. He’ll open his own agency after he graduates.

Image via The Billable Hour Co. If you’d like one of these for your own, check them out here.

I was instructed to take voluminous fax documents from boards, count the pages, estimate how long it would take him to read had he done so, and charge a pro-rata share of $375 an hour, which greatly increased his revenue. He billed my time at $150 an hour while he paid me only $15 an hour. This and other shenanigans artificially pumped up his billing from $150,000 to well over $395,000 for one [homeowner association] case, made up of nonexistent time he claimed he spent researching the client’s case.

– Anonymous law clerk who wrote the Los Angeles Times to ask if he should report his boss’s shady billing practices. The boss also fittingly makes a point of billing clients for the time they exhaust complaining to him about his bills.

;So if I take out $159K in loans, and my job pays $160K, I’ll be paid off in a year!’

I did the math and I’m willing to go to school for 3 years after my undergraduate to make 6 figures out of law school.

Cadillactica Pimp, the Twitter handle of an aspiring law student featured on Law School Lemmings. I’m sure Cadillactica will earn a stellar education at whichever YHS program the Pimp chooses.

Sarah Jones

The issue here is really narrow, it’s about whether or not TheDirty.com is entitled to immunity under the [Communications Decency Act]. [Nik] Richie reviews all the posts. He’s said he’s looking specifically for things that will cause a rise. He wants to put dirt out on the Internet about private people.

Chris Roach, lawyer for Sarah Jones, the former Bengals cheerleader and high school teacher who won a $338,000 judgment after being defamed on Richie’s gossip site, TheDirty.com, commenting on the reasons why he believes Richie will not receive immunity under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act. Roach went on to note that his client does not have chlamydia or gonorrhea.

(In 2009, Richie allegedly wrote a post entitled, “The Dirty Bengals Cheerleader,” asking, “Why are high school teachers freaks in the sack?” In that post, a commenter suggested Jones slept with all the members of the Bengals team and had STDs. Jones went on to be convicted on sexual misconduct charges for sleeping with an underage student, and now plans to marry him.)

Q: You can’t just have a bunch of clients with preexisting intentions to kill someone?

A: Yeah, that would certainly make things more risky for the firm.

– An exchange between Above the Law columnist Carolyn Elefant and Daily Show correspondent Jordan Klepper, in a segment about the trend of small law firms offering “self-defense retainer plans” for gun owners.

(Read more and watch the full, funny clip, after the jump.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Shoot First, Ask Questions Later — As Long As You Have Insurance”

The people who regulate rich white guys in basketball are way tougher than the people who regulate rich white guys in banking.

Kevin Roose, author of Young Money: Inside the Hidden World of Wall Street’s Post-Crash Recruits (affiliate link), commenting on Twitter about N.B.A Commissioner Adam Silver’s harsh punishment of Donald Sterling, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.

(Both Silver and Sterling are lawyers. Check out their backgrounds, and find out which elite firm conducted the NBA investigation of Sterling, after the jump.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Adam Silver v. Donald Sterling: A Tale Of Two Lawyers”

‘Uh, you want me to do *what,* Justice Scalia?’

I’m hoping that a law clerk is sitting in a back room wrapping a phone in aluminum foil.

– Professor Adam M. Gershowitz of William & Mary Law, noting that warrantless cellphone searches are unnecessary when they can be stored in Faraday bags or wrapped in aluminum foil to prevent the remote wiping of information. Gershowitz and other criminal law professors filed an amicus brief on behalf of the defendants in Riley v. California and United States v. Wurie, which are both being heard before the Supreme Court this week.

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