Reality TV

* To prepare for the upcoming term, the Supreme Court added six new cases to its docket. Much to our chagrin, none of them are about gay marriage. In other news, Matt Kaiser was right: this is a term only a lawyer can love. [National Law Journal]

* “We are not going to forget where we came from.” As it turns out, not everyone at this firm is a “huge [bleep]hole.” Cozen O’Connor announced this week that Michael J. Heller will step up to serve as the firm’s chief executive officer. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Apparently law school deans are “merely middle management.” Frank Wu, Chancellor and Dean of UC Hastings Law, gives an interesting insider opinion about what the view is like from the top of the ivory tower. [Huffington Post]

* “Caveat emptor makes for a lousy law school motto”: an exposition on why law schools should tell their prospective students the truth about their job prospects after graduation. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Anna Gristina, the Millionaire Madam, pleaded guilty to one count of promoting prostitution. Does this mean we’ll never find out more about the “prominent Manhattan lawyer” who was allegedly a client? [New York Post]

* New Jersey Assemblyman Ronald Dancer (ne Fist Pumper) proposed a piece of legislation called the “Snookiville Law.” If it means more cash for the towns that have to suffer wrath of reality TV, then so be it. [CNN]

Reichen Lehmkuhl

* In response to our contest for the best law firm offices, Vivia Chen proposes a contest for the shabbiest law firm offices — and gets the ball rolling with one nominee. (Hint: CHECK YOU hallways.) [The Careerist]

* Professor Eugene Volokh shares his views on the juicy leaked law review emails we covered earlier. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* And Professor Josh Blackman has some ideas about the identity of the conservative professor discussed in the controversial emails. [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* Villanova hired ESPN’s Andrew Brandt to be the director of the school’s Center for Sports Law. Students would probably be more excited if this meant ESPN was interested in hiring them. [SB Nation Philly]

* Sumner Redstone of Viacom just donated $18 million to Boston University Law. Quick, Boston College, hurry up and find an old rich guy to make a multi-million dollar donation to your school! [Hollywood Reporter]

* Reality TV hottie Reichen Lehmkuhl, perhaps better known for being Lance Bass’s ex-boyfriend, reports that he’s going to law school. He should be required to attend class without his shirt on. [Instinct Magazine]

Today, we’ve got a tale for our readers about a lawyer from upstate New York who seems to be the epitome of a DUI defense lawyer’s worst nightmare. As the old saying goes, “the third time’s the charm,” but apparently when it comes to this guy and allegations of drinking and driving, the third time’s when you get caught with an alleged prostitute in your car.

Did we mention that the accused prostitute once starred in a reality television show, Wife Swap? That’s certainly not going to help this fellow keep the allegations under wraps….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “‘Prominent’ Attorney Accused of Patronizing Alleged Prostitute Who Once Starred in ‘Wife Swap’”

Maddy Verst

Back in January, we brought you news about a ridiculous million-dollar lawsuit that was filed by the mother of a young Toddlers & Tiaras star after her child was allegedly made out to be a prosti-tot by various media outlets.

Months later, the reality TV show has reared its pretty little head again in the courts, but this time in a custody battle for the ages. As it turns out, this doting dad didn’t want his darling daughter to be sexually exploited by her own mother, through the use of breast and booty padding.

The best part of the story is definitely the fact that this poor girl’s father — you know, the one trying to prevent his kid from becoming what pedos’ dreams are made of — is a convicted felon, on probation for child endangerment. Just wait till you see what his daughter looks like….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Convicted Felon Battling Estranged Wife Over Daughter’s Fake Boobs and Butt in Custody Battle”

Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.

Last night, I was having trouble coming up with something to say in this space that begins the post. I think it’s called an introduction. I called up the only woman who doesn’t screen my calls and asked for her help.

Mama Juggs: Are you in trouble?
Juggs: No, mom. Christ, why would you ask me that? No, I’m finding it difficult to think up a story only tenuously related to sports that I can open my column with.
MJ: I don’t understand a word of what you just said.
J: My column, mom. On Above The Law. You said you’ve been reading it?
MJ: *silence*
J: Whatever. Mom, can you think of a sports-related story that’s mildly funny and has little-to-no point?
MJ: Do you remember how your father used to shoot free throws? God, you’d stand out there for hours rebounding for him. How many did he make in a row?
J: Something over 100. I don’t remember. Mom, that’s not a ripping yarn, you’d have to agree.
MJ: You were too young to remember this, but the way his teams ran defense at Lucky High. Oh God, it was poetry. Every motion had an order, but it was so fluid and graceful. It was intuitive, y’know? Your father was so proud of those boys.
J: This isn’t going anywhere, is it?
MJ: The team that took second at state was great, but it was actually the team after that that your father always claimed was the best he coached. I can still see him walking out onto the court with the boutonnière and he looked so impressive. Just striding onto that court with all the confidence in the world. I’ll have to see if I can find a picture. I know I have one around here. He looked so handsome, your dad did.
J: Didn’t he get kicked out of a lot of games for arguing with refs?

LET’S TALK SPORTS!

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Mostly Football Extravaganza”

It’s been quite an explicit week here at ATL. We’ve covered BJs, strip clubs, and oh yeah, more BJs (of the metaphorical if not literal type). Ample opportunity for snark, clearly. But I have to say, some of the best comments came from our old standby: law school drama. Our commenters know that sometimes it pays to stick to what you know.

For pure yuks, I’m a fan of Concerned Pastafarian’s comment on the story about the Jesuit law school which, in the words of one of our Twitter followers, is in the middle of a nervous breakdown:

“The tuition is too damn high!”

- Dean Mystal

That comment, a shout-out to Jimmy McMillan, is almost like a haiku. It’s brief and balanced, yet it still creates a clear, awesome picture in the mind.

But sorry Pastaman, your airborne spaghetti deity doesn’t have your back today. Like many other Americans, I can’t turn away from the ongoing trainwreck that is D-list reality TV stars and all the ways “normal,” “dignified” Americans make fun of them online….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Komment of the Week: You Kan’t Go Wrong Mocking a Kardashian”

D&L would've been better off doing this.

* Dewey even care if we spent money like it was going out of print? A new D&L bankruptcy court filing states that the failed firm used $43M of secured lenders’ funds in just one month in an attempt to save the ship from sinking. [Bloomberg]

* The Jerry Sandusky trial continues: Mike McQueary’s testimony in the former football coach’s case was pretty disgusting, but then again, most things are going to be pretty disgusting when you’re dealing with an alleged child predator. [Daily Item]

* A few ways you can tell this isn’t England: 1) our dental hygiene is generally better; 2) our royalty is entirely made up of reality TV stars; and 3) you still can’t serve people via social networking sites like Facebook. [paidContent]

* Foul ball(s)! Remember Clark Calvin Griffith, the former William Mitchell adjunct sports law professor who was accused of unsportsmanlike penile conduct? He pleaded guilty to indecent exposure. [Pioneer Press]

* “Do I have to read the whole settlement?” Yup! UC Irvine Law’s consumer protection clinic will work to see if banks are keeping their end of the bargain in a $25B foreclosure-abuse settlement. [Los Angeles Times]

* Anna Gristina, the accused “Millionaire Madam,” claims in a motion to dismiss that police tried to make her name her johns, one of whom is apparently “a prominent Manhattan lawyer.” But which one? [New York Post]

* CBS claims that ABC’s “Glass House” is a rip off of “Big Brother,” and the network is trying to block the show from airing. OMG, please let it air so we can see this law school dropout in action. [Celebrity Justice / FindLaw]

Here at Above the Law, we frequently write about lawyers and law students who have put their legal careers on hold to compete on reality television shows. In the past year or so, we’ve profiled two former Bachelor contestants whose hearts were broken (one from Illinois Law, and one from Houston Law Center); a Harvard Law student who tried to win over his tribe on Survivor; a Northwestern Law student who attempted to weasel his way out of getting fired on The Apprentice; and a former Biglaw attorney whose health-food dishes made the judges want to choke on America’s Next Great Restaurant.

That being said, imagine our surprise when we found out that yet another attorney had decided to make a foray into the wonderful world of reality TV. If you recall, back in May, we brought your attention to a job advertisement for an attorney chef. We thought that was a unique career alternative, but apparently someone had already beaten us to the punch. The latest lawyer turned reality competitor actually is an attorney chef — one who will appear on the new season of MasterChef, which is set to premiere tonight on Fox.

So who is this attorney chef? Was he able to roast the competition like he would have during oral arguments?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “A Lawyer Attempts to Slice, Dice, and Julienne Fry All of the Competition on ‘MasterChef’”

Ladies, Ryan Gosling feels your pain.

* Apparently, it is illegal to father a second illegitimate child in Mississippi. I guess the first one is a freebie or a Mulligan, or whatever. If for some reason I ever have a personal need to know this tidbit, please shoot me in the face immediately. [Legal Juice]

* A class-action lawsuit will be filed tomorrow against the producers of The Bachelor, alleging race discrimination. I’m more concerned about the show’s overall crimes against good taste. (Zing!) [Legal Blog Watch]

* Just like a certain Biglaw firm, Goldman Sachs is dealing with a large number of partner defections. Goldman has a pretty good PR spin though: jumping ship is actually a sign of loyalty to the company. Right, just like the crew of the Titanic. [Dealbreaker]

* Today is #EqualPayDay. If you’re like me and didn’t know what that means, all you need to know is that the fairer sex is still not paid as much as big dumb oafs like myself. If you want to do something to fix this, Ms. JD has some ideas. [Ms. JD]

* Bigotry and prejudice are never okay. UNLESS you want to hate on a new-ish (yet exceedingly popular) religion that is also conveniently in opposition to your liberal political motives. In that case, right this way, sir… [Instapundit]

* If you don’t pay your taxes, the government wants to be able to take away your passport. So, hypothetically, if I were planning to flee the U.S. for, say, Spain, to avoid paying my taxes… I should leave, well, now. Umm, IwillseeyoulaterIhavetorunOKbye. [The Atlantic]

Have you ever watched America’s Next Top Model? We have (but only because of the lawyerly competitors). In recent years, the show has featured a number of plus-size women, with one of them winning the competition in 2008. Many critics have referred to these women as “fat,” wondering if these curvy girls could really stand a chance in the modeling world. But they weren’t actually fat, or even plus-size — realistically speaking, they were quite average. They just didn’t fit the so-called modeling mold.

So what happens when your run-of-the-mill model, a woman who has been called “very skinny, almost anorexically skinny,” is deemed too fat to model by her own agency? This is apparently what happened to the winner of Holland’s Next Top Model, who decided to sue over it.

Who is this skinny-fat model, and what does she look like? More importantly, how did she fare in court? Read on for all of this and more, including some slightly-NSFW pictures (not nude, but racy)….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “A Model’s ‘Fat Ass’ Gets Her Fired, But Earns Her a Win in Court”

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