Above the Law

Recent Headlines from Above the Law

 

John Roberts Chief Justice John Roberts* Does Chief Justice Roberts care enough about avoiding the appearance of partisanship that he’ll sink challenges to Obamacare? [Huffington Post]

* Wow. In 1938, they arrested a woman for wearing pants to court. [LA Times]

* LSAT takers were down AGAIN. It’s now down more than 40 percent since 2009. Maybe someday soon it really will be a good time to “Apply to Law School Now!” [Excess of Democracy]

* Don’t go to jail in Alabama. Just a general rule. [Mother Jones]

* Interesting. LexisNexis is partnering with Microsoft to create a cloud-based system for small law firms. [PR Web]

* The remains of famed athlete Jim Thorpe will remain in the Pennsylvania town where he was buried, ruled Judge Richard Caputo. His family wanted the remains returned to his birthplace. Even in death this guy is getting jerked around. [Associated Press via ABC News]

* Speaking of sports, Oklahoma State is suing New Mexico State alleging that its mascot looks “confusingly similar” to OSU’s mascot. There are only so many ways to depict a cowboy. Compare and contrast. [The Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Man Okie State is litigious all of a sudden. Oklahoma State is suing the University of Texas for poaching the former Cowboys Offensive Line coach to be the Longhorns’ Offensive Coordinator. I can see the deposition now. Imagined transcript after the jump…. [ESPN]

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How did you spend your long weekend? I spent mine in the seventh ring of suburban hell: the big box stores. Summer associates probably spent theirs saying things like, “Look at all the money I have to spend on my long weekend; Biglaw jobs are GREAT!” Recent grads spent it in a fetal position: “The bar is coming. THEBARISCOMING. Gurgle gak Commercial Paper.”

Down in Texas, a more traditional star-spangled bacchanalia was momentarily interrupted by coup d’etat. Though, in fairness, overthrowing corrupt powers seems like the most traditional way to celebrate Independence Day…

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The whole world has ground to a halt to watch the World Cup. Except of course in the United States, where the World Cup is mostly a curiosity to fill our days now that the NBA and NHL have finished their seasons.

Perhaps you’d pay closer attention if you had a guide to the teams that gave you a personal stake in a given squad. Without further ado, here’s an explanation of which law schools most closely resemble World Cup sides…

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Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 26, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.

* Who cleans up after Godzilla rolls into town? I figure it’s Damage Control. [The Legal Geeks]

* So we all know University of Texas Law admits politically-connected students with bad grades and scores. But did you know they let in someone with a 128 on the LSAT? ONE. TWENTY. EIGHT. [Watchdog.org]

* Do we even need the Supreme Court? Well, that’s one way to get RBG to retire. [Huffington Post]

* Seriously, the Boston Public School system is eliminating its history department. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Yesterday I talked about a devastating takedown of the latest National Review article contending that sexual assault is no big deal. Perhaps I crowned a champion too soon, because this is an even better whipping of that article. [Concurring Opinions]

* Wait, ID laws ultimately suppress voter turnout? What a surprise! [Election Law Blog]

* The last word in the death penalty debate after the jump… [The Onion]

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* The best part of the DOJ’s charges against the Chinese hackers is definitely the fact that we now have a “Wanted” poster for “Wang Dong.” Third graders of the world, go ahead and snicker. [What About Clients]

* This is a literal way of sticking it to the banks — man arrested for attempting to have sex with an ATM machine. He was charged with public intoxication. And solicitation… goddamned $3.00 out of network charge. [The Smoking Gun]

* A new NFL lawsuit alleges that the NFL illegally used painkillers to cover up injuries. This story is brought to you by the letters D, U, and H. [Sports Illustrated]

* In an interview, the admissions dean of the University of Texas says the school “extend[s] opportunities to students who aren’t 100% perfect on paper.” No kidding. [Tipping the Scales]

* Australian lawyers are trying to argue that their cease and desist letters are copyrighted and cannot be republished. Professor Volokh explains why that’s not a viable argument in the United States. We. Totally. Concur. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* A transwoman was denied a requested name change. The judge? The former counsel to Liberty University. Of course. [GayRVA]

* Twitter icon Judge Dillard cited Wikipedia in a decision. Didn’t Keith Lee just have an article about that? [Court of Appeals of Georgia]

* More analysis of Gaston Kroub’s look at Biglaw’s Scarlet Letter. [Law and More]

* The DOJ announced that LSAC will pay $7.73 million and institute systemic reforms over its ADA violations. If only the DOJ could get on top of LSAC’s problems securing your private personal information. [U.S. Department of Justice (press release)]

Ever have that feeling that someone got your slot in law school even though they didn’t deserve it? They had worse grades, worse test scores… they may not even be able to pass the bar. It’s ridiculous that schools are allowed to have biased admissions policies that discriminate against qualified students in favor of some politically popular factor.

Like, favoritism.

Because this is a story about candidates who — on the face of it — just don’t appear qualified to attend the school, and who just so happen to have political pedigrees and got in….

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First, some good news: law students are starting to feel like the market has normalized. This year’s law revue submissions contained less of the “Oh Noes, Sweet Jobs Are Gone” parodies that have dominated the contest in previous years. This year was actually full of people whose greatest life tragedies apparently involved getting onto/not getting onto law review. The “new normal” is normal.

The bad news: videos about people getting onto/not getting onto law review are generally boring. Dear lord, every prospective law student and their mothers talk about wanting “practical training” and “clinical experience,” but the minute they get into law school they become obsessed with getting the most impractical résumé builder around. There wasn’t one “client” or clinical experience to be found in this year’s submissions. That should tell you a lot about the difference between what law schools say they’re teaching, versus what they’re actually teaching.

Anyway, we’re doing the worst of the worst at 3:00 p.m. on Good Friday. Joe Patrice says not to worry, we’ll have something better for you in about three days…

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Lat here. Tomorrow is a big day. First, April 15 is Tax Day; we hope that you’ve filed your return — and that you haven’t been taken advantage of. Second, it’s the deposit deadline at various law schools. We hope that you’ve made up your mind — and that you haven’t been taken advantage of.

Just kidding. Here at Above the Law, where we are sometimes critical of the value proposition of legal education, I’m the designated defender of law schools. I write stories with titles like In Defense Of Going To Law School and Go To Law School: What Else Are You Going To Do With Yourself? I also compile and disseminate law school success stories. We are not uniformly opposed to law school here at ATL; we just want people to make informed decisions.

Helping people make informed decisions is the goal of our popular column called The Decision. We field queries from prospective law students choosing between different schools, offer them advice, and ask ATL readers to weigh in as well.

Now, on to today’s scenarios. We’ve titled them “Jersey Boys” and “The Book of Mormon,” for reasons that will soon become apparent….

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How’d you like that, lawyer? –Darrell Royal

If you’re an attorney, have gone to law school, or are going to law school, you have seen the deposition in which Joe Jamail threatens to knock some geriatric chemist’s dick in the dirt. It’s stunning not because it’s surprising but, rather, because it is exactly what you expect a trial lawyer from Texas to do. When I first watched it, I thought someone had dug up my grandfather’s body and awarded him a posthumous Juris Doctor. The only thing more impressive than Jamail’s language in that deposition was just how nonchalant he was about unfurling his homespun insults. That ain’t your g**d*mned job, fatboy.

Jamail, of course, is famous not only for being a foulmouthed credit to the human race, but also for being paid exorbitant sums of money for his lawyering. This website has spilled a good deal of cyber ink in detailing Jamail’s piles of filthy luchre. And why not!? While the rest of you go about scratching out your bonus-sniffing beta lives, Joe Jamail soars above all that. Love him or hate him, the man crushes you and I in every imaginable category, save wallflowery.

This week, Joe Jamail pumped the brakes on Mack Brown’s exit from Texas. So we get to talk about him. And sports.

Let’s talk sports, fatboy…

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The Warhol maxim about media celebrity has worked its way into litigation with a pair of high-profile legal disputes over the late artist’s work. Fittingly for Warhol-related news, the cases both glitter with celebrity and elevate the most mundane items to the altar of contention.

In one case, world-famous pop culture icons are pitted in a case involving sex, betrayal, higher education, and art appraisal. In the other, parties duke it out over a frigging box. An ordinary, cardboard box. They say it’s worth $250,000 because… why not?

Warhol once said, “making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art,” and he’s now nodding approvingly as millionaires are running to courthouses to fight over pictures he drew half a century ago…

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  • Interview with AdmissionsDean

    Provided by the school


    “I’m frustrated by the desire or the need to have cookie cutter law schools. They’re supposed to be different. Law schools have different…” – Monica Ingram – Asst. Dean for Admissions & Financial Aid, UTexas Law
    See more at AdmissionsDean.