Sex

Who is the man who left the law to bring the world the delights of latex fetish clothing, vibrators, and blowjob machines?

If you think your law school is trying to screw you, well...

* Leonard M. Rosen, one of the name partners of Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz, died earlier this week. Our very own Managing Editor David Lat once sat three doors down from this respected restructuring maven. Rest in peace. [Bloomberg]

* A judicial ethics board has recommended that this judge be removed from the bench because she once “sold out her clients, her co-counsel, and ultimately herself.” Oh Flori-duh, you give us so many reasons to <3 you. [Sun Sentinel] * Gov. Christie named Dean Patrick Hobbs of Seton Hall Law as ombudsman for New Jersey’s executive branch. Congrats, but looks like Seton Hall may need a new dean. [New Jersey Law Journal] * A woman working in retail was put on four months of forced maternity leave when she was four months pregnant. She’s due after her forced maternity period is up. Of course she’s suing. [Los Angeles Times] * ICYMI, here’s a list of all of the fine states in America where blowjobs are illegal, but necrophilia is a-okay — or “anti-blowjobs, corpse-sex-friendly states,” as Adam Weinstein ever so eloquently puts it. [Gawker]

Student makes around $84,000 posting racy pictures of herself. It may work right now, but how will it affect her long-term legal career?

What could have possibly earned this judge a six-year suspension from the bench?

How much is this litigation boutique rumored to pay its partners?

What could possibly go wrong?

* Lawyer opts to wear orange prison scrubs for Lent. When you think about it, it makes a lot more sense than giving up chocolate when your religion is based on a death row inmate. [Waco Tribune] * A profile of Bob Bennett. They compare him to Olivia Pope. Not sure about that… Bennett’s got bigger tits. [Washington Post] * A Brooklyn lawyer reached out and grabbed his dream. Unfortunately, that dream involved the crotches of multiple unsuspecting women. [New York Post] * George Zimmerman’s parents are suing Roseanne Barr, who apparently is still enough of a celebrity that people care to sue her. [IT-Lex] * Married women can’t get divorced in Alabama. Look at the bright side, that means you can’t get a divorce lawyer who’ll bill you for sex. [Associated Press via WTOP] * Play along at home with this handy tracker showing just how often the U.S. Chamber of Commerce prevails at the Supreme Court. It’s a long Supreme Court season, but based on the last couple years, the scoreboard might look disturbingly like the Super Bowl’s when all is said and done. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Hey, law schools! Looking for more students? It looks like a simple legal change can spike your applications. [Fox News] * If you’re in D.C. next week, swing by the Race and Access to the Justice System symposium at Georgetown. [Georgetown Journal of Legal Ethics]

Is a controversial lawsuit causing lawyers to leave this high-profile boutique?

Nancy Grace has a nose for news. So what if that news is over a year old?

Would you vote for this judge, or would he need to send you a sexy selfie first?

* Missouri lawyer is hauled into a disciplinary hearing about his practice of showing a picture of a naked woman to a female client. He says it wasn’t about sex and he was just showing her the kinds of pictures that come up in a divorce proceeding. That sounds like a fine explanation. I mean, every divorce involves autographed photos of strippers. He also commingled funds. That’s less easy to explain. [Inside the Ozarks] * Hey look! They brought back Debtors’ Prison. The prison-industrial complex has gotta get paid somehow. [Bergen Dispatch] * Federal prosecutors in Manhattan are now looking into David Samson, the chair of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey and a Christie appointee. If government agencies aren’t for petty revenge and plunder, then what are they for? [Talking Points Memo] * Insurance company cronies threaten that insurance company may have to get out of the business because of all the lawyers winning cases making the insurance company actually pay their contractual obligations. Don’t they understand the purpose of litigation is just to collect premiums? [Legal Newsline Legal Journal] * How ACLU attorney Ben Wizner became Snowden’s lawyer. [Forbes] * “One of the reasons I could never imagine being a lawyer is because you have to account for your time in 15-minute increments.” Thankfully she was corrected and told that lawyers are actually more irritatingly measured in 6-minute increments. [Dear Prudence / Slate] * With all the talk of patent law reform coming from the President, this is an excellent time to look back at eight dumb patents. [Mashable]

"We have a few questions, please answer slowly..."

How much do you think it costs to kill a lawyer these days? It's actually pretty cheap!

* How high can your heels be for a job interview? [Corporette] * If you think your client is committing securities fraud, the Supreme Court has good news! Sarbanes-Oxley’s anti-retaliation protection extends to Biglaw associates. [Whistleblower Protection Law Blog] * Here’s more on today’s Chevron ruling from the perspective of the energy community. [Breaking Energy] * The California Bar eJournal is running a poll asking the question, “Do you believe that the law school you attended prepared you to practice law?” The results may surprise you! (Shhh! No they won’t.) [Survey Monkey] * An accused killer asks to withdraw his guilty plea by calmly explaining to the judge that he was high as a kite when he pleaded guilty and that his lawyer was busy boning the prosecutor. He earns an A for effort on that one. [Albany Times-Union] * Chris Christie’s former campaign manager, Bill Stepien, appears to be the target of a federal investigation. It’s a bad time to be in Christie’s orbit. [Bergen County Record] * Third time’s the charm! Kevyn Orr, Detroit’s Emergency Manager, is making his third bid to authorize a giveaway to the banks settle a massive derivatives deal that played a big role in Detroit’s financial woes. The judge overseeing the case rejected the prior proposals and may do the same again since the new deal grants UBS and Merrill Lynch a release from liability for the events surrounding a billion dollar deal. [Demos] * Kerry Kennedy beat her DUI charge in no small part due to the testimony of the toxicology expert. [The Expert Institute] * Police tried to hide their use of a cell phone tracker from the courts. Apparently the manufacturer asked them to. Oh well, if a corporation wants privacy violations kept quiet, that’s different. [ACLU] * A follow-up from an oldie but goodie, the judge who changed a baby’s name from “Messiah” to “Martin” based on her personal religious beliefs received a public censure. Perhaps fittingly, the censure was less critical of changing “Messiah” than changing it to “Martin.” I mean, that’s just cruel. [Huffington Post] * More on Mayer Brown’s uncomfortable lawsuit against a city for erecting a WWII memorial. [The Careerist]

* If you want male-strippers dressed as cops to come by the house, don’t call 911. [Legal Juice] * These look like some fun Biglaw recruiting events over in England. Too bad if you’re not an Oxford or Cambridge student… [Legal Cheek] * For the comic-loving lawyers out there, Marvel has kicked off a new run of the preeminent lawyer to the superheroes, She-Hulk. [Law and the Multiverse] * How should we judge our prisons? Low incidence of rape and torture would be a good start. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * You can’t use your failing company’s Facebook account to poach opportunities for your new company. [IT-Lex] * More coverage of the tensions at UCLA Law School. [Huffington Post] * University ordered to pay $2.5 million to former lawyer it fired for not rubber-stamping some questionable dealings. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * Andi from this season’s The Bachelor has disappeared from the murder trial she was running in Atlanta to take over as next season’s Bachelorette. Maybe she won’t dumb herself down as much when she’s the star of the show. Video of her in court after the jump… [TMZ]

Are porn stars' rights deserving of strict scrutiny?

* With the impossible body ideal of Barbie gracing the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover, perhaps we should consider the positives that Barbie has contributed to women over the years. Missing is the rare, vacuous “math class is tough” Barbie. [The Careerist] * A five-year-old writes the cutest response to the IRS. [TaxProf Blog] * Professor busted for taking upskirt pics. His defense? How else was he going to prove the girls weren’t wearing underwear? Touché. Touché. [The Smoking Gun] * The reasons to quit your Biglaw job. Now in listicle form! [Buzzfeed] * The Supreme Court has a chance to take a stand against prosecutorial misconduct. Will they take it? [The Atlantic] * If you’re violating your probation, be sure to videotape it and post it on YouTube. There’s no way your probation officer will see it. [IT-Lex] * More insight into the world of contracting and America’s emerging economic model. [Law and More] * On April 11-12, 2014, the Marquette University Law School will hold a symposium entitled “Judicial Assistants or Junior Judges: the Hiring, Utilization and Influence of Law Clerks.” Our own David Lat will be there, along with such luminaries as Judge Posner, Judge Sykes, Joan Biskupic, and Tony Mauro. [Marquette University Law School]

* A Miami attorney is gearing up for legalized medical marijuana. He’s even selling franchises, hopefully called McKinebud’s. [Daily Business Review] * Is Gwyneth cheating on Chris Martin with an entertainment lawyer? [Defamer] * A Florida village has become a refuge to sex offenders because there’s nowhere else they can go. Isn’t this the plot of Arrested Development? [Agence France-Presse via Yahoo!] * As if law schools aren’t charging enough, they also absolutely ravage students on casebook prices. It doesn’t have to be this way. [PrawfsBlawg] * Who’d have thought it would be this hard to define a pig? [Modern Farmer] * If you aren’t following DLA Piper’s boss Sir Nigel Knowles on Twitter, then… you’re lucky. [Legal Cheek] * The vice president of the Constitutional Accountability Center weighs in on Judge Wright Allen’s marriage equality decision from the perspective of a gay, married Virginian. [Pilot Online] * See, it’s not just lawyers who get annoyed when TV doesn’t live up to the realities of the profession. Political communications professionals can get pretty irked by House of Cards. [Ditto Public Affairs] * A circuit judge just seized control of a lower court’s docket, setting restrictions on a judge’s ability to hear domestic violence cases after finding a repeated pattern of improperly blowing off these matters. It may be the Benchslap-Heard-Round-the-Nation since the slapped jurist is also the president-elect of the American Judges Association. [Detroit Free Press]

Which prominent lawyer's daughter is starring in an explicit play about the porn industry?