Baylor

* IBM says Watson’s about to take away your job, which is an announcement IBM makes roughly every three months because they’re taunting us. [Corporate Counsel]

* Betty Shelby acquitted in the killing of a black motorist because apparently it’s always reasonable to believe a random black guy is going to pull a gun. [NBC News]

* Former client seeks $1.4 million back that it spent trying to disqualify BakerHostetler. [Law360]

* Latham’s Alice Fisher has pulled out of the FBI Director sweepstakes. All eyes are on Joe Lieberman right now, but folks G. Gordon Liddy is just sitting there raring to go. [National Law Journal]

* And apparently Sheriff Clarke (who I’m sure was Trump’s personal pick) is taking a Homeland Security job so he can focus on harassing the poor and disadvantaged without having to bother all those nice bankers. [New York Times]

* Judge Charles Breyer took a break from writing the best benchslaps of all time to issue a groundbreaking video game ruling citing Star Wars and Love Actually — two movies that should never, ever be mentioned in the same sentence. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Stupid fan lawsuit against Warriors center ZaZa Pachulia moves on. [KENS5]

* More horrific allegations from Ken Starr’s world-class leadership at Baylor. [Huffington Post]

Fare thee well, Judge Starr!

How can a lawyer screw something up this badly?

Does anyone think Ken Starr should still have a job?

* Will wearing makeup increase your earning potential? (Yes, they only mean for women, the patriarchy is a real bitch like that.) [Corporette]

* Ken Starr says he is resigning from his position as Baylor chancellor “as a matter of conscience.” Yup, he still plans on teaching at the law school. [ESPN]

* Donald Trump’s terrible comments about Judge Gonzalo Curiel are all part of a branding exercise. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* Law professor Kimberlé Crenshaw is fighting to make people remember the women killed by police. #SayHerName [The Guardian]

* The cleanup after a storm can be even more challenging than weathering the storm in the first instance. [Katz on Justice]

* Has Election 2016 convinced you our electoral system is hopelessly broken? Here are the best ways to fix it. [Brennan Center for Justice]

* Reflections from Richard Levick on Peter Thiel v. Gawker (including commentary from our very own David Lat). [Forbes]

Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 25, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.

* John Quinn is opening up a museum for the brokenhearted. Yes, this is real. [Big Law Business]

* Chris Martin is getting some really good legal advice. [Jezebel]

* It may have seemed like Baylor was super forthcoming when it fired Art Briles and demoted Ken Starr to law school professor for failing to adequately deal with allegations of sexual assault by football players, but really, they’ve mastered the art of saying nothing. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* NBCUniversal to a federal judge: watch Straight Outta Compton. Actually, in context of the case, this request makes sense. [The Hollywood Reporter]

* David Lat on why Peter Thiel shouldn’t be mad at Gawker for reporting that he is gay. [Washington Post]

* Walgreens allegedly didn’t verify that the blood-testing technology Theranos was peddling actually worked before it partnered with the startup. [Law and More]

* You may not like that Peter Thiel is trying to sue Gawker out of existence, but that doesn’t mean the practice should be illegal. [Slate]

The other shoe drops: Ken Starr fired.

As reports emerge of routine coverups of alleged Baylor football sex crimes, one wonders: where was Ken Starr?

* With the Dewey trial wrapping up, a look back at the history of firm honchos earning jail time. [Law360]

* Slick video explaining the everything wrong the way law schools market themselves to students. [Business Insider]

* K&L Gates loses more partners. This time McDermott picks up the spoils. But don’t cry for K&L, they nabbed a huge get off Paul Hastings. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Remember when Sony got hacked? It unveiled some fun stuff, like how the new movie Concussion changed its plot around to avoid offending the NFL. [ABA Journal]

* As college football prepares to kick off tonight, Baylor has hired Pepper Hamilton to look into how the school handles sexual violence allegations in light of the rape conviction of former player Sam Ukwuachu. [Dallas Morning News]

* Here’s one of the dumbest arguments ever: Larry Lessig is liberal. About 47 years ago, unchecked campaign spending marginally helped a liberal (he did ultimately lose the nomination… and Nixon became president). Therefore, Larry Lessig shouldn’t be against money in politics. Signed, the former Executive Director of the Club for Growth. [The Daily Caller]

* Meanwhile, the GOP runs into the downside of Citizens United: arming a terrible candidate with so much money he won’t drop out. [Slate]

* Tough legal questions that need to be answered: What to do when you inherit a school bus full of guns? [Adequate Man]

* Do you know when to quit Biglaw? If you’re miserable, when should you start the search for your next career? [Corporette]

* When it is Justice v. Football on college campuses, justice usually loses — a look at Baylor’s investigation of Sam Ukwuachu. [Deadspin]

* Finally, a job that makes Biglaw look appealing. [Careerist]

* A Biglaw firm doing parental leave right. [Talentkeepers]

* What is real? Can it be the essence of a character distilled? [What About Paris]

* Toddlers’ favorite lawyer makes a late night appearance [YouTube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAPCz6_8nuE

* Did you want a Saul Goodman cake for your next party? Because it’s a thing. Do they make Bunsen burner candles? [Legal Cheek]

* I’m not shy about my love-hate relationship with college athletics. It’s time for more of the hate side: the NCAA cracked down on Baylor walk-on Silas Nacita for accepting benefits deemed improper… WHILE HE WAS HOMELESS! So obviously Baylor kicked him off the team. In case you don’t perceive an SEC bias, this Big XII kid lost his scholarship, while the last time a school gave a homeless kid improper benefits, we gave Sandra Bullock an Oscar. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* A first-year Washington University of St. Louis law student is taking a leave of absence to join the Illinois legislature. Rep. Avery Bourne (R-Pawnee). Of course an ambitious female public servant is from “Pawnee.” [CBS St. Louis]

* Florida deputy shackles a mentally ill woman and then drags her by the leg shackles through the courthouse. Which, when you think about it, is probably pretty humane by Florida standards. [Raw Story]

* An interesting profile of CrowdDefend, a new player in the legal-crowdfunding space that’s aimed more towards public interest cases. [LFC 360]

* The phenomenon of “professional brownouts” hits lawyers hard. [Law and More]

* Reflections from Professor Laura Appleman on a law clerk’s duty of confidentiality, triggered by Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [The Faculty Lounge]

Law student by day, alleged jewel thief by other days.

The new kids at one law school get treated to some "uplifting" music at the start of the school year. Note the scare quotes...

Could the Baylor Law admissions data be used to argue AGAINST affirmative action? Ted Frank makes the case.

If we look at the Baylor Law raw data, we can really see what this affirmative action debate is all about...

Baylor Law accidentally releases personal information of admitted students...

In a highway accident in Utah, motorcyclist Brandon Wright was dragged under a burning vehicle and trapped. Wright could have been killed, but a group of bystanders lifted the car and pulled Wright to safety. Well, we should correct that account: almost everyone in the group of bystanders helped to lift the car so Wright could be pulled to safety. One guy, a man who shall forever be known as the "Guy in the Suit," was standing around and watching. It figures that someone claiming to be a small firm personal injury lawyer came forward as the Guy in the Suit....

* Looks like you really screwed the Cooch. Virginia and its Obamacare challenge got slapped around today by the Fourth Circuit. [Blog of Legal Times] * Just how rich are the members of SCOTUS? When you’re worth $45M, like RBG, you can afford to fall asleep during the State of the Union address. But you […]