Breasts

Attention Ladies: Nursing Moms Will Get Extra Time on the LSAT

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Back in October 2011, we brought you some depressing news about the battle of boobs v. brains when it came to LSAT accommodations. While students with ADD were permitted to receive double the standard testing time on each section of the exam, along with other test-taking luxuries, the Law School Admissions Council essentially gave nursing mothers a response that amounted to “tough titties” — literally.

(Maybe LSAC figured that if a pregnant woman can go into labor during the bar exam — and then pass the test — taking the LSAT while nursing shouldn’t be a big deal.)

Now, nine months later (how very apropos), LSAC has birthed a major about-face for women seeking entry to the legal profession. If you’re a nursing mother or are pregnant and plan to be nursing at or around the time of the next LSAT administration, it might serve you well to listen up….

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Should You Wear a Bikini to the Firm Pool Party?

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It’s that time again: it’s getting hot in herre [sic], and people at your firm have decided to take Nelly’s advice. While everyone’s gearing up for the big summer bash, you’ve got to deal with your next fashion headache. You’ve already been told that you should be wearing skirt suits and showing some leg on a day-to-day basis. And now that the weather is nice, lawyerly ladies want to know: can you, or rather, should you wear a bikini to your firm’s pool party?

We covered this issue last summer, where the be-all and end-all question was to boob or not to boob. At that point in time, I adopted an “if you’ve got it, why not flaunt it” stance. But now that I’m a year older, and (arguably) a year wiser, I’m here to offer our female readers some more mature advice to be used in this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation with assistance from Kat Griffin of Corporette.

Keep reading for some Biglaw bathing suit etiquette that you shouldn’t have too much trouble following….

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Lawsuit of the Day: Yet Another Woman Claims She Was Fired for Being ‘Too Hot’

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You may remember that back in the summer of 2010, an attractive and curvaceous woman named Debrahlee Lorenzana sued Citibank for wrongful termination. Apparently Lorenzana was “too hot” — so hot, in fact, that she allegedly distracted other bankers from doing their jobs, resulting in her firing.

Just two years later, another woman claims that she was fired for similar reasons — her employers at a lingerie business allegedly told her she was “too hot” and that her breasts were “too large.” Now, we know what you must be thinking: how can one be “too hot,” or have breasts “too large” to work for a lingerie company?

Everything’s possible in New York, but we know that TTIWWOP — “This Thread Is Worthless Without Pictures.” We’ve got a few, plus a video….

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Ride ‘Em, Cowgirl! Lawsuit Claims Texas Constable Forced Deputy to ‘Motorboat’ Her Breasts

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In the movie “Wedding Crashers,” Vince Vaughn’s character introduced the term “motorboating” to a global audience, through a tirade about being forced to grope an older woman’s breasts. In case you’re not familiar with the term (and we don’t know why you wouldn’t be), you can find its definition at the Urban Dictionary.

Now, you may be asking, what’s wrong with a good old-fashioned motorboating? You’d assume that the breastacular event would be enjoyable for both parties.

But apparently the fun stops when a man allegedly endures a rodeo of unwanted sexual advances from his female boss that crescendos in two occasions of forced motorboating. So before you can say, “You motorboatin’ son of a b*tch!,” let’s see what’s going on deep in the heart of Texas.

It’s a sexual harassment lawsuit for the ages….

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Lawyer of the Day: Criminal Defense Attorney Accused of Offering ‘Pro Boner’ Assistance to Female Inmates

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Depending on which state you’re licensed in, you may have to do a certain number of pro bono service hours in order to keep up with your ethical obligations. In general, doing pro bono work is a great way to get that happy feeling deep down inside.

But one lawyer in Georgia may have a different idea about how to achieve that sense of inner nirvana. He’s allegedly more interested in getting serviced pro boner than offering pro bono services.

That being said, let’s meet our Lawyer of the Day, a man who stands accused of trading contraband for peep shows from prisoners at the local jail….

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Morning Docket: 03.19.12

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Sad little law school grad.

* With 269 partners to go, Dewey need to start panicking yet? Twelve additional partners, including practice group leaders, have jumped ship, bringing the grand total of partner-level defectors to 31 since January. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Late-breaking news: law schools’ numbers still don’t add up. The New York Times has already said its piece on the problem with law schools, so the Wall Street Journal decided that it was time to chime in again. [Wall Street Journal]

* Army Staff Sergeant Robert Bales, the man accused of going on an Afghan killing spree, will be represented by Ted Bundy’s lawyer. In the court of public opinion, that’s equivalent to pleading guilty. [Bloomberg]

* “I have had it with these motherf**king snakes breastfeeding women on this motherf**king plane!” A mother has settled a lawsuit with her airline over being kicked off a plane for nursing her child. [Businessweek]

* Here’s a fashion tip for law firm staff: you wear orange shirts in prison, not at the office. Think twice next time before you wear that color to work, because you might get fired like these folks in Florida. [Sun-Sentinel]

* Let’s face it, there is no escape from the law, not even in your free time (if that even exists). That being said, here’s a lawyerly crossword puzzle, inspired by Nina Totenberg’s reporting on legal affairs. Have fun! [NPR]

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Morning Docket: 03.15.12

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Kim Kardashian

* Building bridges instead of burning them: a new Republican strategy that just might work. Thanks to this Senate deal, 14 federal judicial nominees will get confirmation votes before summer. [Legal Times]

* According to this survey, Biglaw firm leaders are wearing rose-colored glasses when it comes to the economy and current business conditions. That said, where are the spring bonuses? [Am Law Daily]

* A jury found Virginia Tech negligent in its handling of the school’s 2007 massacre. The administration will probably appeal, but it’d be nicer if they just appeased the victims’ families. [Wall Street Journal]

* Want a tenure-track teaching position? Just sue. Nicholas Spaeth’s age discrimination suit against Georgetown Law will proceed, much to the school’s chagrin. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Kim Kardashian + boobs + lawsuit = water cooler fodder for lawyers. [New York Post]

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Morning Docket: 02.22.12

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Stephanie Adams

* Vedel Browne, the man charged with robbing Justice Stephen Breyer, will enter a plea of not guilty. Why turn yourself in and then claim innocence? That makes no sense, mon. [Washington Post]

* Guess which Biglaw firms helped to broker the $173B Greek debt deal? Cleary Gottlieb, Allen & Overy, and White & Case. It’s too bad they’re going to get paid in gyros. [Am Law Daily]

* England has approved of the use of Facebook for service of legal documents. If the files went to “Other” messages, the defendant can probably claim ineffective service of process. [Associated Press]

* A Florida firm is suing the BBB after receiving a grade of “F.” It’s not the firm’s fault its clients complain — they’re just too dumb to “understand legal complexities.” [Orlando Sentinel]

* Former Playboy Playmate Stephanie Adams won a $1.2M jury award in her excessive force case against the NYPD. You don’t drop a woman with implants to the ground, she could pop. [New York Daily News]

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Scantily Clad Waitresses Are Surprised By Sexual Harassment, Sue Over It in Federal Court

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It pretty much goes without saying that if you voluntarily agree to work in an establishment where the uniform consists of knee-highs, a tartan mini skirt, a bare midriff, and a push-up bra, you’re going to risk exposure to some lecherous individuals. That’s a given.

But what happens when it’s not just the patrons who are acting like horny frat boys? What happens when the most prominent pervert is your boss?

That is what has been alleged in a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by employees of the Tilted Kilt in Chicago, Illinois, a breastaurant that’s advertised to consumers as the “best looking sports pub you’ve ever seen.” Let’s take a look at some of the allegations….

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A Model Law Student: This Sexy Sooner Hits the Books Hard

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Our law student is hotter.

When you think of Oklahoma, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? For some it’s a Broadway musical, for others, it’s agriculture, and for others still, it’s football. But what about beautiful, intelligent women?

Today, we’ve got a story for our readers about a law student with some really big… brains. A tipster notified us about this sexy Sooner and the double life she leads: she’s a second-year law student, but in her free time, she’s a model who’s worked at some of the finest breastaurants in the business.

Who is this lovely law student, and which law school does she attend? More importantly, what does she look like? Semi-NSFW pics, or it didn’t happen….

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