Celebrities

* Donald Trump has opinions on Supreme Court justices. He thinks that Roberts is “disgraceful,” that Scalia was “very tough” on black students, and that he loves Thomas. Perhaps he should take a cue from his favorite justice and shut up. [CNN; Associated Press]

* An easy peasy solution? Rather than amend the Constitution, Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio says that he’ll just appoint Supreme Court justices who will overturn the decision in the Obergefell case because he thinks that gay marriage is “bad law.” [ThinkProgress]

* Gibson Dunn has billed about $8 million to defend New Jersey Governor Chris Christie in the Bridgegate scandal thus far, so here’s a thought: perhaps you should show your hard-working associates some appreciation and announce bonuses already. [Fox News]

* Taylor Swift filed trademark applications for five signature phrases (Swiftmas, Blank Space, And I’ll Write Your Name, A Girl Named Girl, and 1989). If you infringe upon any of them, you can expect that she’ll be writing your name — on a lawsuit. [USA Today]

* Braeden Anderson, the Seton Hall law student and ball player who divides his time between the courtroom and the basketball court, has had one hell of a 1L year. When he graduates, this extremely lucky guy may have a job — with the NBA. [New York Times]

* Charlie Sheen, not one to beat around the bush, got right down to business in a motion to dismiss his ex-fiancée’s lawsuit, calling her an “extortionist who gets paid for sex as a prostitute and porn star.” Looks like someone could use some anger management. [Fox News]

* If you’ve been following the circus sideshow that is Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, you know that he’s proposed a ban on Muslims entering the country. Needless to say, this is likely completely unconstitutional, and many law profs agree on this point. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The GC of Allstate says law firm billing rates are way too damn high. Her pet peeve? “[T]he way law firms bill, the hourly rate system, and the fact that rates go up, or at least they try to have them go up year, after year, after year.” [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* Everything’s bigger in Texas, except for this law school’s tuition: Texas A&M Law has announced that it will be lowering its in-state tuition by more than 15 percent, and then freezing it at that level for four years for all entering and current students. [PRNewswire]

* If you’re a minority who’s thinking about applying to law school, there are several important things you ought to take into consideration, including which schools will provide you with a “supportive, nurturing, mentoring environment.” [U.S. News]

* My, but how quickly things change! Manhattan prosecutors might not be retrying the D&L criminal case after all. Instead, they’ve offered all of the remaining defendants plea deals. Dewey know if any of the former execs of this failed firm will take a deal? [WSJ Law Blog]

* In case you’re wondering what’s going to happen to Zachary Warren after all of this, it looks like Cyrus Vance found it in the goodness of his heart to offer the would-be Biglaw associate a plea deal: he’ll have to plead guilty to a misdemeanor to get 200 hours of community service. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Law students, get ready to lobby even harder for this, because a proposal to do away with the American Bar Association’s ban on law students receiving academic credit for paid externships is moving forward to a notice and comment period. [ABA Journal]

* If you’re preparing for a law school interview, you should stop freaking out about it and focus on the things that matter — like showing off your social skills to prove you’ll be employable in some way after graduation. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* After having a culpable homicide conviction for which he already served time overturned and turned into a murder conviction instead, Paralympic athlete Oscar Pistorius was granted $688 bail since he’s not considered a “flight risk.” [NBC News]

* Will it ever be easier to meet the challenge of proving you’ve got an undue hardship so you can discharge your law school student loan debts in bankruptcy? Your fate may rest in the hands of this indebted Florida Coastal Law grad and his petition for certiorari at the Supreme Court. [US Law Week Blog / Bloomberg]

* Hate crimes still happen, even at this prestigious law school: Amid increased racial turbulence on campus, the Harvard University Police Department is now investigating the defacing of black law professors’ portraits as a hate crime. [ABC News]

* UVA Law recently joined the minority of law schools that have women serving as dean. Pop your collars with pride, because legal historian Risa Goluboff will take over as the school’s first female dean this July. Congratulations! [Richmond Times-Dispatch]

* Gordon Rees has settled its lawsuit against Alex Rodriguez over the baseball player’s outstanding legal bills, totaling more than $380,000. The terms of the deal haven’t been disclosed, but we have a feeling that the firm hit it out of the park. [NBC New York]

* Try before you buy or a bid to increase tourism? Alaska is making bold moves now that it’s legalized marijuana for recreational use. It’ll be the first state to allow the social use of the drug “in public,” i.e., inside pot dispensaries that have yet to open. [Cannabist]

* For the horde! If you thought Dentons was done gobbling up law firms to create its international legion of lawyers, then you were dead wrong. The firm will likely merge with 500-lawyer Australian firm Gadens and 200-lawyer Singaporean firm Rodyk & Davidson in 2016. [Reuters]

* Thanks to this ruling, lawyers for model Janice Dickinson may depose Bill Cosby in the defamation case she filed against him after he denied raping her. Cosby’s former lawyer, Martin Singer, who the comedian recently dumped for Quinn Emanuel, may be deposed as well. [Los Angeles Times]

* If daylight saving time has been messing with your head, you’ll feel better to know that even the Supreme Court was having trouble with the time. Both clocks in the SCOTUS courtroom were hours behind thanks to an electrical malfunction. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Law school graduates have been having a rough time when it comes to bar passage in recent years, but Biglaw firms likely have nothing to worry about — in fact, many partners didn’t even know a problem like this was happening. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* “[T]he Harvard crest . . . should be a source of shame for the whole school.” According to a student movement at Harvard Law that’s been dubbed “Royall Must Fall,” the school was endowed by a “brutal” slaveowner and yet still bears his family’s seal. [Harvard Crimson]

* “Say you’ll remember me, getting groped in a nice dress…” Uh oh! This pop star seems pretty pissed! Taylor Swift has filed a countersuit against a radio DJ who sued her because he claims he was fired for inappropriately touching the singer backstage at a concert. [Rolling Stone]

* Charleston School of Law has a new president, and hopefully his tenure will be less wrought with disaster than that of his predecessors. He says he’ll be paid one whole dollar per year as his salary until he can turn things around. [Charleston Post and Courier]

* At a speaking engagement at Santa Clara Law earlier this week, Justice Antonin Scalia proclaimed that the Supreme Court has been “liberal” throughout the entirety of his 30-year tenure. We’d like to beg His Honor’s pardon; that can’t be true. [WSJ Law Blog]

* As this article so eloquently puts it, “[t]he Supreme Court is about to climb back into Americans’ bedrooms.” Today, the high court will review several petitions from non-profit groups that want to be exempted from ACA’s contraception mandate. [USA Today]

* Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the number of firms that are trying to enter the market. To establish a presence in the Lone Star State, Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton is saying howdy to some new partners and merging with Crouch & Ramey. [ABA Journal]

* Brush that dirt off your shoulder: Jay-Z may have 99 problems, but this copyright lawsuit about his song “Big Pimpin'” is no longer one of them. The suit filed against the rap mogul in 2007 was dismissed on standing grounds, but the plaintiff says he plans to appeal. [Los Angeles Times]

* When it comes to the death penalty, Justice Antonin Scalia says that it “wouldn’t surprise [him]” if the Supreme Court were to strike it down as unconstitutional. It seems that a capital punishment case could become the next SCOTUS blockbuster. [CBS Minnesota]

* No one is a fan of the Securities and Exchange Commission’s in-house court system, and legislation to give financial defendants the right to opt out will be introduced in Congress later this week. Would you rather face trial before a federal judge or jury? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Earlier this week, a state-court judge brought a live grenade to the courthouse, but only because he wanted to have it properly disposed of by police. The jurist currently remains unidentified, which is a good thing, because this is pretty embarrassing. [CBS Los Angeles]

* Jurors in New York are paid $40 per day for their service, so you may be wondering how the confused members of the jury in the Dewey & LeBoeuf (mis)trial were able to survive on only $2,920 after five months spent in the courtroom. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* John Stamos of Full House fame was formally charged with driving under the influence earlier this week following his arrest for erratic driving this summer. He faces up to six months in jail if convicted. We have faith that his beautiful hair will survive time in the slammer. [USA Today]

* While the vast majority of the law school lawsuits containing allegations related to deceptive employment statistics have been dismissed, a few are still alive and kicking. The very first one filed — Alaburda v. Thomas Jefferson School of Law — is heading to trial in 2016. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Trick or treat? Per federal prosecutors, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert will plead guilty before Halloween as part of a deal in his ongoing sexual misconduct hush-money case, but whether he’ll serve time is a question that’s yet to be answered. [Reuters]

* Headcount at real estate firms with once-prominent foreclosure practices continues to shrink thanks to the recession’s end. To that effect, two Chicago firms have eliminated hundreds of positions for legal professionals since 2013. [Chicago Business Journal]

* Thanks to a new online system, Northwestern Law will be able to interview prospective students any time, anywhere. The school is the first in the country to offer awkward casting couch sessions as part of its admissions process. [Northwestern University News]

* Paul Walker’s daughter, 16-year-old Meadow Walker, filed a wrongful death suit against Porsche, alleging the automaker was negligent and strictly liable because the car her father died in had several design defects, namely that it was too fast, too furious. [CNN]

* The jury on the Dewey & LeBoeuf criminal trial is having a really difficult time this week. Yesterday, on the eighth day of deliberations, jury members asked for the definition of the word “deliberation” and clarification on what their jobs were as jurors. [Am Law Daily]

* If you’d like to know why Hughes Hubbard likely conducted layoffs last week, then look no further than the commentary of this City Private Bank Law Firm Group analyst. Times have officially changed for litigators at large law firms. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* In news that no one should find particularly shocking, Albany Law School has announced an affiliation with the University at Albany. Both schools are struggling with enrollment and hungry for cash, so it’s a match made in heaven. [Albany Times Union]

* “There are 35,000 museums in the U.S. … [b]ut the great legal profession hasn’t gotten around to establishing one.” Spoke too soon: Say hello to the American Museum of Tort Law, Ralph Nader’s house of personal injury horrors. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* In case you missed it, on top of her perjury and obstruction charges, Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane’s license to practice law was suspended. As a law professor attempting to make a sick burn noted, “She may be at this point our paralegal general.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Tracy Morgan made an appearance at The Emmys on Sunday night that earned him a standing ovation, but David Jay Glassman, the attorney representing the Walmart truck driver who hit the comedian’s car last summer, wasn’t applauding. Hmm, perhaps his wife suddenly got pregnant? [The Wrap via Yahoo!]

* If the former leaders of failed firm D&L are convicted this week, we seriously hope that they’re not so disillusioned as to believe they’ll be shipped to a “Club Fed” facility. How long Dewey think these Biglaw alums will last at a place like Rikers? [Am Law Daily]

* New Biglaw associates at some firms are being treated to a second college experience filled with orientation programs, resident advisers, summer reading, and even parties. (At least they get to drink champagne, not Franzia.) [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* The president of UMass says its law school will be fully accredited by the American Bar Association within one year’s time. Given that everyone gets a turn when it comes to ABA accreditation, this is one low-expectation-having educator. [Boston Business Journal]

* A former DJ is suing Taylor Swift because he claims that he lost his job after he was falsely accused of grabbing the singer’s ass. When contacted for comment, Swift said, “I’ve got a blank motion to dismiss, baby, and I’ll write your name.” [Associated Press]

* BakerHostetler’s partners unanimously agreed to do away with its two-tiered partnership structure. We would’ve been shocked the firm was going to kick its nonequity partner title to the curb, but we broke the news on it last month. [Am Law Daily]

* Albany Law’s new dean thinks she may have a solution to the school’s enrollment problem, which is down by 38 percent since 2010. She wants to hire more professors, even though the school’s existing professors aren’t exactly pleased. [Albany Business Review]

* California’s legislature approved a landmark bill that will permit physician-assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. If Governor Jerry Brown refuses to sign the “death with dignity” law, supporters will likely bring it to a ballot referendum. [New York Times]

* A Brooklyn bride alleges in a recently filed lawsuit that she’s still waiting for her wedding pictures… more than two years after her wedding took place. She’s clearly not a bridezilla, because if she were, a lawsuit wouldn’t have even been necessary. [New York Post]

* Baker & McKenzie was dethroned by DLA Piper as the the Biglaw king of gross revenue. The firm is blaming its poor performance — a 4.3 percent drop — on “currency fluctuations.” Better luck on snatching back glory next year. [Am Law Daily; Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* It’s hard out here for a pimp with an allegedly small peen: Terrence Howard’s divorce settlement was overturned by a judge after evidence was brought forward to suggest the actor was coerced into signing it. Apparently his ex was blackmailing him over the size of his manhood. [ABC News]

* There’s a new sheriff judge in town, and he’s cleaning up the Ferguson, Missouri, courts. His first order of business was to wipe out all arrest warrants issued before December 31, 2014, in the wake of the Michael Brown police shooting last August. [Reuters]

* Dean Philip Weiser of Colorado Law has announced that he’ll be stepping down from his position in July 2016. He’ll be remembered for keeping costs low and putting asses in seats during a time when it was difficult to do both concurrently. [Denver Business Journal]

* “On one level I give them kudos for playing hide the ball.” Gibson Dunn is fighting a subpoena issued by defense attorneys for computer metadata related to its Bridgegate report that cleared New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie of all wrongdoing. [Bergen Record]

* It looks like the other slutty shoe has officially dropped. Two law firms have filed a $578 million class-action lawsuit against adultery dating site Ashley Madison for breaching their clients’ privacy rights. Impact Team must be thrilled. [TIME]

* Gov. Chris Christie says that if he’s elected president, he won’t nominate anyone with a Harvard Law or Yale Law degree to SCOTUS. Non-Ivy law schools better start priming and primping their most successful grads on the off chance Christie gets the nod. [CBS News]

* Case Western Law decided that two heads are better than one, because Jessica Berg and Michael Scharf were just permanently appointed to serve as co-deans. We can’t think of any other law school with a dynamic duo of deans like this. [Crain’s Cleveland Business]

* In Biglaw, romantic wranglings can follow you beyond the grave: Thomas Hale Boggs Jr.’s estate is doing battle with a woman who claims she had a relationship with the former head of Patton Boggs — and now she wants some of his property. [National Law Journal]

* He may be “used to playing on a different court,” but Michael Jordan really took it to the hole on this case. Defunct grocery store Dominick’s Finer Foods must now pay the sports star $8.9 million for using his name in a steak ad without his permission. [NBC News]