Clarence Thomas

* Rudy Giuliani is reportedly looking for another defense lawyer.  Guess he listened to the old adage about he who represents himself… [CNN]

* Rose McGowan is suing the lawyers Harvey Weinstein enlisted to discredit her, including David Boies.  I’m sure the defendants know a few good attorneys to represent them. [New York Times]

* The D.C. Bar just released an ethics opinion on what managers and employees should do if they think a lawyer is impaired. Based on some of the stories on this website, such guidance is sorely needed. [American Lawyer]

* A Clarence Thomas documentary is set to be released in 2020.  Guess Justice Thomas wanted his own RBG. [Time]

* A lawyer who is suing her former employer must pay the legal fees of her former law firm because she failed to produce critical evidence for 17 months. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* A man caught on video punching his own lawyer in court was acquitted of the assault, since the injuries were deemed not serious.  Apparently being injured with a concussion and a broken nose from an assault by a client is just a job hazard for lawyers. [WTVR.com]

* President Trump had a hell of weekend on Twitter, where he implied that Democractic Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar, and Ayanna Pressley — all women of color — weren’t American citizens and told them to “go back” to their home countries. [CNN]

* Federal prosecutors have now accused Jeffrey Epstein of witness tampering, alleging that the sex-trafficking defendant paid out six figures to buy the silence of those who could testify against him. [New York Times]

* Speaking of people related to Alex Acosta’s resignation as labor chief, Patrick Pizzella, formerly of K&L Gates legacy firm Preston Gates Ellis, an associate of Jack Abramoff who notably wasn’t charged and convicted of corruption, has been named as acting labor secretary. [Big Law Business]

* The D.C. Circuit didn’t really seem all that receptive to Trump’s attempts to block Congress from subpoenaing records from one of his accounting firms. Picture Judge Patricia Millett asking this with a raised brow: “When it comes to a president’s conflict of interest, there’s nothing Congress can do … to protect the people of the United States?” [Washington Post]

* How did Justice Clarence Thomas go from being a “Black Panther type” in law school to being the Supreme Court’s “conservative beacon”? [NPR]

* According to Citi Private Bank, law firm leaders are feeling a little less confident about the second half of the year, but no one is expecting a recession just yet. In fact, they seem downright “optimistic” about the rest of 2019. Yay! [American Lawyer]

* President Donald Trump has officially objected to special counsel Robert Mueller testifying before Congress via Twitter (obviously), putting himself at odds with his own Attorney General Bill Barr, who previously said he’d have no problem with Mueller’s testimony. [New York Times]

* Justice Clarence Thomas, the high court’s longest-serving justice, may finally be having his moment in the sun. As a member of the more conservative SCOTUS majority, his views are finally being given more credence as he “drags the court in his direction.” If he holds true to his refusal to retire, in 2028, he could become the longest-serving justice in history. [Associated Press]

* “I don’t have anything to hide. This guy Cohen has muddied the record and tried to muddy our reputation. I won’t let that happen.” Michael Cohen’s ex-defense attorney says that not only has his former client sullied his name, but that he still owes $43K in legal fees. [New York Law Journal]

* Meanwhile, Michael Cohen is heading to a prison today that’s been referred to as “a great place for white-collar Jewish guy,” with a menu that includes matzo ball soup and gefilte fish. Plus, he’ll get to hang out with Mike Sorrentino of Jersey Shore and Billy McFarland of Fyre Festival. [Reuters]

* Greg Andres, a senior prosecutor on special counsel Robert Mueller’s team who served as lead trial lawyer in Paul Manafort’s case, is headed back to Davis Polk. [Big Law Business]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the U.S. economy added 263,000 jobs last month, but it looks like the legal profession was left out of all the fun, declining by 0.7 percent. Just in time for graduation… [American Lawyer]

* “There needs to be some kind of ongoing legislative inquiry—whether for impeachment or something else [to release grand jury material.” If you’re eager to get your hands on the full Mueller report, you may have to wait a bit longer thanks to this D.C. Circuit case. [Big Law Business]

* Meanwhile, during part of a weekend tweetstorm, President Donald Trump said that “even though [he] [has] every right to do so,” he’s not yet read the Mueller report. But even if he does read it in the future, it’s unlikely he’ll change his “complete and total exoneration” tune. [Slate]

* In the wake of recent accusations of inappropriate touching, the way former Vice President Joe Biden handled Anita Hill’s sexual harassment claims against Justice Clarence Thomas’s dramatic confirmation hearing is coming back to bite him. [CNN]

* Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen resigned on Sunday, effective immediately. According to a senior administration official, the UVA Law alumnus said the President was “making unreasonable and even impossible requests” about the border. [CBS News]

* Weekend at Ruthie’s? Windmill cancer experts Conspiracy theorists think that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been dead for quite some time and Democrats are covering it up to prevent President Trump from taking her seat. [The Hill]

* Congratulations to Justice Christopher McDonald, the first person of color to serve on the Iowa Supreme Court. McDonald, “an immigrant’s son,” says he’s “deep[ly] concern[ed]” with racial justice issues. [Des Moines Register]

* Ted Cruz is threatening Yale Law School because that’s the sort of shallow posturing Ted Cruz has made a career out of. [Washington Examiner]

* Clarence Thomas says he’s not going to retire just so Trump can replace him proving that narcissistic hubris is truly bipartisan. [National Law Journal]

* Being a jerk on an airplane is now worth 6 months in jail. Make a note of it. [Legal Cheek]

* The SEC thinks it’s time for some real fines on Elon Musk. [Law360]

* Trump just installed another zygote to the federal bench, even though he was born in one of the Mexican countries. [Miami Herald]

* Just a reminder that legislators are mostly stuffed shirts pocketing lobbyist cash. [USA Today]