College Football

* Dewey even care if we spent money like it was going out of print? A new D&L bankruptcy court filing states that the failed firm used $43M of secured lenders’ funds in less than a month in an attempt to save the ship from sinking. [Bloomberg]

* The Jerry Sandusky trial continues: Mike McQueary’s testimony in the former football coach’s case was pretty disgusting, but then again, most things are going to be pretty disgusting when you’re dealing with an alleged child predator. [Daily Item]

* A few ways you can tell this isn’t England: 1) our dental hygiene is generally better; 2) our royalty is entirely made up of reality TV stars; and 3) you still can’t serve people via social networking sites like Facebook. [paidContent]

* Foul ball(s)! Remember Clark Calvin Griffith, the former William Mitchell adjunct sports law professor who was accused of unsportsmanlike penile conduct? He pleaded guilty to indecent exposure. [Pioneer Press]

* “Do I have to read the whole settlement?” Yup! UC Irvine Law’s consumer protection clinic will work to see if banks are keeping their end of the bargain in a $25B foreclosure-abuse settlement. [Los Angeles Times]

* Anna Gristina, the accused “Millionaire Madam,” claims in a motion to dismiss that police tried to make her name her johns, one of whom is apparently “a prominent Manhattan lawyer.” But which one? [New York Post]

* CBS claims that ABC’s “Glass House” is a rip off of “Big Brother,” and the network is trying to block the show from airing. OMG, please let it air so we can see this law school dropout in action. [Celebrity Justice / FindLaw]

* Dewey get the chance to reap revenge against all of the partners who defected? Only in bankruptcy clawback suits. Many are keeping an eye on the Coudert and Thelen Chapter 11 cases to see if they’ll have to pay up. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* “People have bigger concerns on their mind than whether Elizabeth Warren is 1/32 Cherokee.” Well, Scott Brown isn’t most people. He wants all of her job records from her career as a law professor. [Washington Wire / Wall Street Journal]

* “We are not anti-gay, we are pro-marriage.” I don’t think “pro-marriage” means what you think it means. Last night, North Carolina voters passed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in the state. [CNN]

* Mike McQueary is filing a whistleblower lawsuit against Penn State. Hate to say it, but that’s definitely not the first time Penn State’s seen a lawsuit over something being blown in the locker room. [Centre Daily Times]

* Washington University in St. Louis Law is launching an online LL.M. program for foreign lawyers for the low, low price of $48K. The exchange rate surely can’t be good enough for that to be worth it. [New York Times]

* Joran van der Sloot will likely be extradited to the United States from Peru this summer. His lawyer, Maximo Altez, isn’t a fan, because he thinks that we’ll charge his client with murder. America, f**k yeah! [ABC News]

* Oh, of course a member of the Village People’s claim just had to be the test case for 35-year copyright transfer termination. Well, kudos to you, Mr. Motorcycle Cop. You’re a real “Macho Man.” [Bloomberg]

* A legal threat goes viral: if you’ve been living under a rock, Epstein Becker & Green is repping Fox News in any legal action brought against Gawker for the “Fox Mole.” [New York Observer]

* Jerry Sandusky’s motion to dismiss his child sexual abuse charges have been denied. And the fact that he thought this would get him off is funny on its own. [New York Daily News]

* When shouldn’t you flash an expired DA’s ID card at the cops? During a DUI stop. She can always use the “celeb angels and demons made me do it” defense. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* New York City’s first female commissioner of the Department of Information Technology is leaving her job to milk the New York Law School cash cow. [Wall Street Journal]

* Law schools are snatching up old ass buildings left and right to house new programs and clinics. Looks like upcoming episodes of “Flip This House” will be brought to you by overpriced tuition. [National Law Journal]

* Yeah buddy! Apparently acting like a drunken idiot in Sleazeside pays off. A lawsuit has revealed Jersey Shore star DJ Pauly D’s salary per episode, and it rivals a Biglaw starting salary. [The Clicker / MSNBC]

* Statistically speaking, with its current line up, the Supreme Court is the most conservative that it’s been since the 1930s. This chart makes even Justice Kennedy looks conservative. [FiveThirtyEight / New York Times]

* And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust: earlier this week, Dewey lost an antitrust partner to Arent Fox. That brings the firm’s grand total of partner defections to 38. [Am Law Daily]

* Jerry Sandusky’s trial has been postponed until June to due to “logistical contingencies” — like a motion to dismiss all of his child sex abuse charges. Meh, it’s no big deal. Same verdict, different day. [Bloomberg]

* And on a similar note, Warren Jeffs tried — and failed — to appeal his child sex abuse conviction. Because apparently that’s what happens when you represent yourself in the hopes of overturning a life sentence. [CNN]

* Lindsay Lohan’s supervised probation has ended, and for the time being, her legal woes are over. When will she screw up again? I’m going to give her three months, and that’s being really generous. [Daily Telegraph]

* Joe Amendola has filed a motion to dismiss the child sex abuse charges against his client, Jerry Sandusky. And if he actually thinks that’s going to happen, then he definitely needs to call 1-800-REALITY. [Associated Press]

* @AllenStanford’s motion for a #newtrial has been denied. The Ponzi schemer’s “conviction by journo tweet” argument has failed. Major props to Judge David Hittner for issuing a ruling in less than 140 characters. [Bloomberg]

* Everyone’s obsessed with the U.S. News law school rankings, but here’s a ranking that people should actually be paying attention to: the law schools that lead to the most debt. [The Short List / U.S. News and World Report]

* This defunct firm’s homeless Halloween party just won’t be as fun this year. Steven J. Baum P.C. has to fork over $4M to settle a probe over its alleged foreclosure abuses. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* St. John’s Law is planning to launch two new LL.M. programs, neither of which is in tax. This is newsworthy because people will apply anyway, and then bitch about the “value” of their degree. [National Law Journal]

* John Payton, President and Director-Counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, RIP. [NAACP LDF]

Death doesn’t change your status as a party.   — Max Kennerly, a Philadelphia trial lawyer, commenting on the effect (or lack thereof) that Joe Paterno‘s death would have on lawsuits stemming from the Penn State football sex scandal. Kennerly said prospective litigants could name Paterno’s estate.  

* Time to separate the men from the boys (but don’t tell Sandusky). An accuser has hired Jeff Anderson of clergy sex abuse fame, and he wants damages. [Wall Street Journal] * RajRaj is trying to stay out of jail. He thinks he’s got a shot at getting his Galleon convictions vacated, but he’s probably […]

It appears that Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State defensive coordinator who is accused of having sex with little boys, has hired an attorney. You'd think that out of all the attorneys in the world, Sandusky would pick one who had an untarnished record when it comes to sleeping with minors. But you'd be wrong. Instead, Sandusky went the other way. He didn't find a lawyer who just slept with a minor, he found one who reportedly impregnated one....

* Pennsylvania may have new child abuse reporting requirements by the year’s end. Apparently the key to efficiency in state government is to sully the reputation of the state’s pride and joy. [CNN] * “There is always room for a good law school, regardless of the climate.” Say hello to Peter C. Alexander, the founding […]

If they hanged Joe Paterno from a tree and gave little boys a bat and said "whack that man like a piñata," it probably wouldn't hurt as much as what's actually about to happen to JoePa. Obviously, we don't yet have all the facts. But just looking at the Grand Jury report should tell you that civil actions are coming....

* Herman Cain’s got Wood over all of these sexual harassment accusers. No, seriously. He hired Bryan Cave defector L. Lin Wood to handle his possible defamation claims. [WSJ Law Blog] * Sad and depressing old man news: Joe Paterno’s legal innocence was irrelevant. Instead of letting him retire at the end of the year, […]

* “The most valuable assets of a law firm go home every night.” If only Biglaw firms realized that prior to dissolution, we’d probably have a lot more happy partners and associates. [WSJ Law Blog] * If we can’t deregulate the legal profession, then what can we do to improve it? One law professor suggests […]

* Remember Judge William Adams, the Texas state court judge who was reportedly videotaped in the act of beating his daughter, Hillary Adams? He has now commented on the situation (and so has his ex-wife, Hallie Adams). [KZTV.com] * And here is Kashmir Hill’s take on the whole sad situation. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes] […]

* Herman Cain says he’s not in the habit of sexually harassing women. That’s too bad, because he’s got a great pick-up line for Election 2012: “I got your 9-9-9 right here. It’s in my pants.” [Reuters] * Apparently Andrew Shirvell “has a history of trying desperately to smear people.” When so many people think […]

* Looks like you really screwed the Cooch. Virginia and its Obamacare challenge got slapped around today by the Fourth Circuit. [Blog of Legal Times] * Just how rich are the members of SCOTUS? When you’re worth $45M, like RBG, you can afford to fall asleep during the State of the Union address. But you […]

All Georgia Tech alum Mary Clayton wanted to do before the football game was eat some Chick-Fil-A, so she tried to enter the stadium with a chicken sandwich in hand. And what started for Clayton as a game to remember turned into a day she'd like to forget, due to an alleged sandwich security strip search....

Ed. note: Natasha Lydon is a new writer who will be helping out around Above the Law. She graduated from NYU Law School and spent years at a Vault top 50 law firm. She’ll be writing posts and working on some long-term projects. Also she’ll occasionally stop Elie from murdering the English language. While most […]