Elizabeth Edwards

Sure, there are still a few counties where adultery is a “crime” in a real way, but it’s been a long time since somebody faced serious criminal charges because he stepped out on his wife.

Even if he stepped out on his dying wife who was stricken cancer in a publicly humiliating way while at the same time running for the presidency.

But it looks like the Department of Justice is about to really put the screws to former vice presidential candidate John Edwards. Of course, they can’t go after him for his gross affair outright. But Edwards’s alleged campaign finance shenanigans might get him in serious trouble…

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Let’s face it: the best thing about dying is that you are reunited with your loved ones on a puffy cloud get to control people from beyond the grave. I don’t look forward to dying, but the one thing that brings me comfort is knowing that my funeral playlist will be epic, as I’ve taken the liberty of including it in my will (Thong Song, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Red Red Wine, Mambo #5, etc.).

Elizabeth Edwards, who died on December 7th after losing her battle with breast cancer, didn’t exactly pull a Leona Helmsley, screw her children and leave nearly everything to her dog. But she did exact revenge on her cheating, megalomaniac estranged husband:

Elizabeth Edwards left everything to her children, with no mention of her estranged husband, John Edwards, in her will.

“All of my furniture, furnishings, household goods, jewelry, china, silverware and personal effects and any automobiles … to be divided among them …” Edwards says in the document dated December 1.

Yowza. Not even an “I acknowledge my husband, John Edwards, whom I intentionally omit from this will” put in for good measure. In the words of MTV’s best dating show: John, You Are Dismissed…

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* After being bombarded with hurricanes, earthquakes, and cholera, I can hardly blame the people of Haiti for rioting over an election that appears to have been rigged. [BBC]

* A Kansas church will be protesting at Elizabeth Edwards’s funeral. Nobody seems to know why. [WRAL]

* Now the police are getting into the game of spying on you while you check out porn. Oh no, that’s State Action’s music playing. He’s stepping into the ring! This can’t be good. [Forbes]

* Lawyers do NOT make Gawker’s list of ten most depressing jobs in America! Thanks, Cahill Gordon, you came though just in the nick of time. [Gawker]

* Glad to see that Justice Kennedy wields his unimaginable power with such thoughtful deliberation. [Law Librarian Blog]

* David PaTTTerson pardoned six immigrants facing deportation. Apparently he thought it was random and cruel to send them back to… New Jersey. [ACSBlog]