Eva Longoria

Jared Lee Loughner

* The attorney of Jared Lee Loughner will likely dig back several generations in order to establish her client’s lunacy. Apparently Loughner was an avowed nihilist. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism… [New York Times]

* Meanwhile, newspapers have grappled with how to use the batsh*t mugshot of Jared Loughner. Although “grappled” might be too strong a word as that cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs grin stares out a thousand-fold from every newsstand.[Washington Post]

* Silvio Berlusconi’s lawyers are trying to persuade an Italian court that he is immune from prosecution in two separate cases brought against him. Bunga Bunga. [BusinessWeek]

Eva Longoria

* Eva Longoria was sued for violating California state usury laws. When Tony Parker heard the news, he surrendered. Cause he’s French. He’s French, guys. Get it? [msnbc.com]

* An Iranian human rights lawyer has been sentenced to 11 years in prison, five of those years for not wearing a hijab. Reports are unclear, however, whether or not she is a lush Persian beauty. [CNN]

* Yesterday, a judge ordered that Michael Jackson’s physician stand trial for involuntary manslaughter in the singer’s moonwalk off this mortal coil. [ABA Journal]

* “A Spanish teacher who was fired for getting hot and sweaty with another woman in a Brooklyn classroom is suing to get her job back.” [New York Post]

A frenchman cheated on his wife? Sacré bleu!

* It would be much easier more entertaining if Eva Longoria and Tony Parker had to settle their dueling divorce filings with a jump ball. [New York Daily News]

* Duquesne’s law student clothing drive was pathetic, but this just takes the cake. Would you pay an ASU law student’s tuition? [ABA Journal]

* After laying off lawyers, foreclosure supervillain David J. Stern had quit his own company. We sure know how to pick ‘em. [Businessweek; Daily Business Review]

* Personal responsibility fail. Getting lok’d up probably won’t make you insane enough to kill yourself, but this lawsuit says otherwise. [TIME]

* The publisher for America’s Mom dragged Gawker into federal court on a Saturday for a proper spanking over copyright infringement. [Media Coder / New York Times]

* Jimmy McMillan’s $350M lawsuit: the font used by the NY Board of Elections was too damn big to write his full party name on the ballot. [New York Post]