* “Coming to SCOTUS: Battle of the dueling interpretive canons.” [LAWnLinguisitcs]
* Fun fact: the highest scorer on the July 2015 Florida bar exam didn’t even go to law school in Florida. [Daily Business Review]
* What is “Lean Law,” and how can it help you in your legal practice? [Law Reboot]
*” I felt kind of stupid.” A Georgia man fled the courtroom just minutes before being acquitted. [New York Daily News]
* Dahlia Lithwick on Dale Cox, the Louisiana prosecutor who wants to “cold cock” defense counsel. [Slate]
* Are you “a Yuppie, professional or other generic dweeb between the ages of 22 and 82″? Here’s an idea worth considering. [What About Paris?]
* I’ll be speaking next week at the Los Angeles LMA chapter’s Continuing Marketing Education Conference next week; I hope to see some of you there! [Legal Marketing Association]
* After a recent vote, the Florida Bar flat-out rejected a supposedly “controversial” proposal for bar reciprocity. Attorneys in the Sunshine State absolutely, positively do NOT want you practicing law there if you haven’t taken the Florida bar. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Tomorrow, Oscar Pistorius will be released from prison after having only served a fifth of a five-year sentence for killing his girlfriend, a law school graduate. He’ll begin a stint of house arrest, and he’s not allowed to have guns there… for very obvious reasons. [UPI]
* The case of the missing mistrial? After four weeks of deliberation, and after having acquitted the defendants of a slew of lesser charges, the jury in the criminal trial against the ex-execs of Dewey & LeBoeuf will enter a new month without a full verdict. [Reuters]
* The Nebraska Legislature voted to abolish the death penalty in the state, but supporters of capital punishment have forced a November 2016 referendum vote instead. Not to worry, “[n]obody’s going to be executed in Nebraska anytime soon.” [New York Times]
* This week, Connecticut’s Appellate Court will hear cases at the state’s most famous — and most prestigious — law school. Don’t get too excited, Yalies, because this has nothing to do with you. In fact, you’ve probably never even heard of this place. [Associated Press]
The Florida Bar’s Doogie Howser?
The best answer to a federal complaint you’ll read all year.
This is what happens when you rely on commissions to solve problems.
* Remember the judge who challenged a public defender to a fistfight in court? He was suspended by the Florida Supreme Court, and has 20 days to explain why he should keep his job. With all due respect, your great right hook isn’t a good enough reason, Your Honor. [Florida Today]
* Screw the historic SCOTUS decision, because this Alabama probate judge really doesn’t want to issue same-sex marriage licenses. In fact, he doesn’t think any judges in the state should have to do so. He wants the federal government to issue them instead. [AL.com]
* In the wake of the latest daily fantasy sports scandal involving DraftKings, FanDuel has hired the kind of legal representation that you’d want on your team for a Hail Mary play. Hut! Hut! Hike! Time to suit up, Debevoise and Kirkland. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]
* The University of Chicago Law School has a new dean. We’d like to wish a warm welcome to Thomas Miles, a “rookie dean” who likely has enough prestige points under his belt to lead one of the best law schools in the nation with great ease. [Crain’s Chicago Business]
* Today is the 25th Annual National Depression Screening Day, so if you’re a lawyer or a law student who’s feeling anxious or depressed, please feel free to take an anonymous online screening quiz. There are people and programs who can help you. [Am Law Daily]
* From Kirkland & Ellis mailroom clerk to the Clinton Global Initiative. [Yahoo!]
* Is a man who farts too much a protected class? [NJ.com]
* Bill O’Reilly goes nuts on America. [Media Matters]
* Deciding when to sue over a negative online review. [Wedding Industry Law]
Weassociates plan, Godpartners laugh. [Daily Lawyer Tips]
People watch short videos to learn pretty much everything. And they do it exactly when they need to learn – whether it’s to tie a bow tie an hour before a wedding or make a martini just before the party starts. Hotshot is bringing that concept to the legal industry. We think you should be […]
Which firm was the one to conduct these massive surprise layoffs?
Unexpected bar passage champ has a year to hold it over its high-profile competitors.
This is like taking away RBG’s signature collar collection. Don’t do this to judges on state courts!
Go on, make this lawyer an offer he can’t refuse.
* Due to the speed at which she was driving, Caitlyn Jenner could face a vehicular manslaughter charge related to the fatal chain-reaction car crash she was involved in earlier this year. The ESPY-winning celeb’s fate is in the district attorney’s hands now. [NBC News]
* Surprise! David Sweat, one of the New York inmates who led authorities on a three-week manhunt after he escaped from prison in June, pleaded not guilty to felony escape charges at his arraignment. He’ll likely get a few years added onto his life sentence if he’s convicted. [Reuters]
* Oh baby: Valeant is buying Sprout Pharmaceuticals, the maker of the “female Viagra,” for a cool $1 billion. Skadden Arps and Sullivan & Cromwell, the firms repping the companies, must be turned on by the deal. [DealBook / New York Times; Am Law Daily]
* Prosecutors in the David Messerschmitt case are seeking a 25-year sentence for Jamyra Gallmon, the woman who stabbed the DLA Piper associate in a robbery-gone-wrong and left him for dead in a D.C. hotel room. Her attorney is asking for 18 years. [Legal Times]
* The Florida Bar is recommending disbarment for a group of attorneys accused of arranging a DUI arrest for a rival attorney during a high-profile trial. You’ve got to admit this set-up was a particularly bold move, even for Flori-duh lawyers. [Tampa Bay Times]
* Are you one of the millions of Americans wasting time at work compiling your draft order in anticipation of fantasy football season? Then there’s a case in Florida you should pay attention to… [ATL Redline]
* How can you look professional, but still shop ethically? [Corporette]
* In obvious, but depressing, news — the lonely road to partnership for black lawyers. [New York Times]
* The IRS is wrong by 200% — don’t worry, I’m sure they’d be sympathetic if you were off by a mere 200% on your tax return. [Tax Prof Blog]
* Wherein part of your law school grade is determined by how well you know Strunk and White. Madness, madness, I say. [Chronicle of Higher Education]
Gawker pins Hulk Hogan to the mat in the latest round of this bitter legal battle.
You’re finally done, so why not go straight from the bar to the pole?
* How much of a dick is this guy? At his federal criminal trial his sole character witness admitted, “we’re not friends.” [NY Post]
* Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to practice in Florida without taking the bar exam. [South Florida Lawyers]
* The Eighth Circuit just terminated the country’s most restrictive abortion ban. [Jezebel]
* Dewey witness breaks down on the stand. Let’s just be excited that I managed to get that blurb written without being cajoled into making a “Dewey know…” joke. [Law360]
* Negotiating salary and benefits for you folks not on lock-step. [Corporette]
* Do you want a free copy of an LSAT Logic Games guide? Then act now… offer expires Friday. [Blueprint For LSAT]
* A reminder that there are some crazies out there and sometimes you need to put in writing that you’re not going to represent them. [What About Clients?]