We all know it, it’s why lawyers are so terrible: we spend all our time taking out how awful some client is on others. But no one ever calls out the client in public, because we’re either too nice or too interested in keeping our business to ridicule our gravy train.
But then there are some lawyers who are big enough and important enough to become the Honey Badger and just rip clients on the radio.
Maybe this is one more advantage of being part of Skull & Bones….
* The Supreme Court’s Term opens today, and the conservative justices may have the opportunity to shift the law even further to the right when it comes to today’s social issues. [Los Angeles Times]
* In his Biglaw days, Chief Justice Roberts “gave his adversaries heartburn.” Now, his litigation skills serve the same purpose for those giving oral arguments before SCOTUS. [National Law Journal]
* It seems that in the end, Justice Ginsburg’s career choices have been whittled down to the lyrics found in one of The Clash’s catchiest songs: Should she stay or should she go now? [Washington Post]
* In other news, in case you were wondering, Justice Antonin Scalia, a firm believer in the Devil, is just as scary in real life as he is when he haunts your dreams (which is impressive!). [New York Magazine]
* “If this continues, it’s going to be very problematic.” Clients are very annoyed, and some Biglaw firms continue to worry about how the government shutdown will affect their bottom line. [New York Law Journal]
* The defections at night, are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas: Weil Gotshal’s Houston office is still leaking partners like a sieve. We’ll have more on these developments later today. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* President Obama continues to comment on the important issues of the day. He’d “think about changing” the Redskins team name if he were its owner — just like this fired Quinn Emanuel associate. [CNN]
* Viva la raza! The federal government is too slow for California, so the governor signed a bill into law that will allow illegal immigrants to become licensed as lawyers. Congratulations to Sergio Garcia. [Reuters]
* No, we won’t remove that embarrassing story we wrote about you — but at least we’re not trying to charge you hundreds of dollars for its removal like those pesky mug shot websites. [New York Times]
* The lawyer who shot himself in the back and lied about it has pleaded guilty since his defense was full of self-inflicted holes. [WBIW]
* Do you want to be a partner? These 12 simple rules are a good start. (Not featured: Rule 13. Have incriminating pictures of the other partners.) [At Counsel Table]
* The University of Vermont and Vermont Law School are considering a joint “3-2″ degree program. So if you’re 18 years old and positive you want to grow up to be a lawyer, you may soon have a lower cost option. You’re also probably a tool. [AP via Boston.com]
* Can introverts be solo practitioners? It’s an interesting question, but since Growth is Dead (affiliate link) notes that even rainmakers are tragically lacking in sociability, it’s likely that most lawyers across firms are introverted. [Lawpolis]
* St. Louis University Law School has taken over and refurbished an old building in downtown St. Louis. See, it’s possible to run a law school without spending money on MOAR BUILDINGS! [Urban Review STL]
* A poem about CLE. Wait, are there people not doing their CLE online? [Poetic Justice]
* Matthew Martens, the senior SEC attorney who ran the “Fabulous Fab” trial, is leaving the agency. Possible landing spots for Martens include Kirkland & Ellis; Paul Weiss; WilmerHale; Latham & Watkins; and Cleary Gottlieb. [Wealth Management]
* A judge in Kentucky moonlights as the PA announcer for high school football games. He’s also blind. Eschewing the obvious “he still sees better than the refs” joke, my question is why isn’t it just more efficient to make his spotter the PA announcer? Video after the jump…
* Sri Srinivasan was sworn in as a member of the D.C. Circuit by Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, who called him “fair, faultless and fabulous.” The man must have great shoes. [Washington Post]
* Things aren’t going very well for Steven Donziger in the Chevron / Ecuador case now, but then again, they never are. The Second Circuit denied his bid to oust the judge on the case. [Bloomberg]
* Dewey know how much this failed firm’s ex-landlord wants from 450 of its former partners? Somewhere in the ballpark of $1.6 million to $45.45 million, so it could be painful. [Am Law Daily]
* Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton has already named a new chairman. Congrats to J. Henry Walker IV, a man whose name alone makes it sound like he should probably leading something. [Daily Report]
* Time is running out for prosecutors to bring charges against those connected to Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, but it looks like his niece, a Fordham Law grad, is in their sights. [DealBook / New York Times]
* The series finale of Breaking Bad airs on Sunday, and you must be very sad, so here are five compliance lessons to take away from the show. First and foremost, don’t ever hire a Pinkman. [Corporate Counsel]
* E.A. Sports and the Collegiate Licensing Company settled the suit filed against them by college athletes, leaving the NCAA to whine, moan, and “take this all the way to the Supreme Court.” [Birmingham News]
* George Zimmerman’s wife says her husband “went on a victory tour” without her, and has no idea where he is. Clue: maybe he was advising Cybill Shepherd for her role on Law & Order next week. [Miami Herald]
* Apple gave the iPhone 5 fingerprint database to the NSA. This would be a gross invasion of privacy but Tim Cook masterminded this, so the NSA got the Ecce Homo of fingerprint image captures. [Hackers News Bulletin]
* Charlie Sheen got dismissed from jury duty after only one day. #winning [TMZ]
* Gordon from Sesame Street lost his palimony case. That’s because he was trying to duck out on the woman who mothered his “1… 2… 3… 4 kids! [thunderclap] Ah… ah… ah!” [Jezebel]
* Remember the early days of Twitter? Legal Cheek went back and found some of the earliest Tweets from British legal luminaries. It’s just funnier when you imagine an English accent saying, “I appear to be on Twitter… why, I have no idea.” [Legal Cheek]
* If you saw last week’s post on crazy people who claim that no court can try them because of maritime law, check out this epic opinion from Canada. Identifying those folks, like the maritime gang from last week, as Organized Pseudolegal Commercial Argument (“OPCA”) litigants, the opinion is 180 pages seeking “to uncover, expose, collate, and publish the tactics employed by the OPCA community.” [Alberta Courts]
* Police crack down on a motorized bar stool. That’s fair, because if there’s one motor vehicle that you’re likely to fall off… [Lowering the Bar]
* An HLS grad working for the World Bank was rescued from the Kenyan mall hostage crisis. We wish her the best. [Daily Mail]
* Senator Elizabeth Warren and Professor Lawrence Lessig are going to be speaking at an event called “The Founders v. The Roberts Court: Corruption, Campaign Finance, and McCutcheon v. FEC” tomorrow at noon Eastern. The event will be livestreamed at the link. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* Craigslist is suing Craigstruck, a company that specializes in delivering items ordered off of Craigslist. It’s how all those $5/hour attorneys get from place to place. Anyway, the owner of Craigstruck proposed to settle the legal dispute via football wager with Craigslist. If only all disputes could be settled this way. Video wager after the jump…
* Update: Yesterday we reported about the California courts denying class certification in the Thomas Jefferson School of Law case. Apparently that was a tentative ruling and the parties have since had a lengthy argument in front of the judge. So there’s still hope! [San Diego Courts]
* A Houston-area law grad is hoping to crowdfund her law school debt repayment. While that sounds annoying, instead of blaming her, let’s blame Zach Braff for giving her the idea. Always blame Zach Braff. [Go Fund Me]
* Law school as explained by a bunch of GIFs from Titanic. They missed the one about the Captain looking hopelessly at the iceberg as metaphor for deans staring at employment statistics. [Buzzfeed]
* Could you charge Marty McFly in 1985 for things he did in 1885 since he knew they were going to be illegal 100 years later? [The Legal Geeks]
* More on the legal storm surrounding the Danzinger Bridge killings: veteran prosecutor Karla Dobinski self-reported her involvement in making online comments and is being investigated. Dobinski posted under the alias “Dispos,” which means alcoholics. So someone might want to keep an eye on her drinking after she loses her job. [The Times-Picayune]
* M.I.A. has been largely MIA since the Super Bowl when she flipped off the masses. The NFL is suing her for $1.5 million for breach of contract and she refuses to pay, noting that the shameful display of the cheerleaders was far more offensive. [TMZ]
* An essayist wants to stop being judged because she doesn’t have student loans. “I am responsible and fortunate for the resources I have.” Totally. Except when you read the whole article you have to replace “I am” with “my parents.” [Thought Catalog]
Sean Taylor was murdered on November 27, 2007. To give you some perspective on that date, just consider the following. In 2007, Above the Law was a free insert that ran in every other issue of Soldier of Fortune magazine. There, amongst the gun reviews and true tales of heroism, was David Lat’s humble legal gossip circular. In 2007, I was finishing my first semester of my second year of law school. I was taking Complex Lit or Fed Jur or Antitrust. Gearing up for all the abstract federal antitrust work I currently handle at Garbage Jobs ‘R Us, I guess? In 2007, an ounce of gold was worth two-and-a-half cents and two-and-a-half cents down could get you a house. With a pool. Or a pond. Pond would be good for you.
In 2007, Barack Obama was a Senator and David Souter was a judge. In 2007, I pissed in my bed two nights in a row. The first time was jarring, but ultimately surmountable. The second time was much more frightening as I discovered that a bed only comes with two sides that can be reasonably slept on. In 2007, the number one song was Rihanna’s “Umbrella.” It would not be until 2008 that I truly listened to this song. In 2008, my friends really hated me.
In 2007, the Indianapolis Colts beat the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl. I was at a house party where I attacked the keg viciously and without mercy upon my arrival. Shortly after Devin Hester ran the opening kickoff back for a touchdown, I threw up in my friend’s toilet and passed out in someone’s bed. I awoke after halftime to discover that everyone hated me. This would turn out to be good training for 2008.
In 2007, Sean Taylor was murdered. This week, the trial date for his alleged murderers was set for this October.
On Wednesday, the Cleveland Browns traded running back Trent Richardson to the Indianapolis Colts for a 2014 first-round pick. This move, which amounts to Cleveland announcing to the world, “we took a two-week stab at 2013 and decided it’s not for us,” has the side effect of relegating Colts running back Ahmad Bradshaw to second-string status.
This is good for the Colts, maybe good for the Browns — assuming they can convert this pick into something worthwhile — and an absolute disaster if Ahmad Bradshaw played any role on your fantasy team. All of a sudden, that reliable second-tier back (though let’s be honest, he was probably never more than a decent Flex #realkeeping) is useless.
Now imagine how much worse it would be if you’d just traded a top 5 QB for a package involving Bradshaw. That’s what happened in one league and the rest of the league vetoed the trade after the real-life Richardson move. But since this league is a law school league, they prepared an appellate brief demanding the trade go through.
* Johnny Football failed to defeat Alabama on Saturday (though he was gentlemanly enough to keep Bama from covering the spread), but now he has a tougher foe in the IRS. [TaxProf Blog]
* Don’t be that guy who takes naked pictures of your girlfriend. And definitely don’t be that guy who takes naked pictures of his 16-year-old girlfriend while married to the girl’s older sister. In other words, don’t be this lawyer. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Are you an attorney on LinkedIn? Have people been endorsing your legal skills? Congratulations, you’re probably violating an ethical obligation! [IT-Lex]
* Another round-up of people with law degrees who decided to be famous for something other than lawyering. When the list kicks off with Geraldo Rivera and Jerry Springer, you know you’re in for a classy list. [Millington Star]
* One year later, a look at how the Steubenville rape case has affected the town. [Jezebel]
* The world of litigation finance suffers some setbacks as it turns out lawsuits might be the only investment less stable than the Twitter IPO. [Wall Street Journal]
* Time for some more legally themed poetry! This time, let’s get all Edgar Allan Poe up in here. [Poetic Justice]
* Following up on our event in Toronto last week, Bruce MacEwen recapped the evening’s discussion here. [Adam Smith, Esq.]
* After winning his first NFL game this weekend, it’s worth looking back at this profile of Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman, who started his coaching career as a University of Miami law student. [Chicago Sun-Times]
* Here’s all of law school in one syllabus. The third year of law school may be useless, but this is probably too short for a decent legal education. [Postgrad Problems]
* The solution to the law school business model should include reaching out to provide basic legal instruction for those not seeking a J.D. But how does this jibe with the argument that the only way to understand the law is to spend three years in school? [Chronicle of Higher Education]
* In fairness to George Zimmerman, his wife was wearing a hoodie… [CNN]
* Director of National Intelligence James Clapper is looking for a new attorney for the office. It’s a pretty sweet government job because you don’t have to submit to a background check — they already know everything you have to hide. [Constitutional Daily]
* The tax collection system in D.C. is taking nominal shortfalls, charging the homeowners astronomical lawyer fees, and then foreclosing on their houses. Check out how much Aeon Financial tried to charge… [Washington Post]
* Australia banned an ad featuring young, naked women not because they were young and naked, but because they weren’t smiling. This makes sense, because if you’re going to be a hyper-sexualized prop in a campaign to hawk consumer products, you’d better be happy about it. [BuzzFeed]
* Caron Washington, D.C., a comprehensive addiction treatment center, will present the D.C. Bar’s Lawyer Assistance Program with the Caron Employee Assistance Excellence Award at the Caron Recovery for Life Gala on October 8th, 2013 at the National Museum of Women in the Arts. The Lawyer Assistance Program is a free, voluntary, and confidential program for lawyers, law students, and judges who are suffering from addiction, depression, anxiety, or stress. You can purchase tickets or make a contribution at the link. [Caron]
* On October 17-18, IT-Lex is hosting a conference covering the intersection of law and technology. Attendees include the Chief Privacy Officer of the Federal Trade Commission, a Special Agent from the FBI’s Cyber Intrusion Squad, Judge John M. Facciola, the Honorable Nan R. Nolan, and Ken Withers. And the event is in Orlando so you can double up with a trip to Disneyworld over the weekend! Sign up at the link. [IT-Lex]
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: [email protected].
Since late last year, things have been booming in Hong Kong / China in cap markets, especially Hong Kong IPOs. M&A deal flow has recently been getting a bit stronger as well. Although one can’t predict such things with any certainty, all signs are pointing to a banner entire 2014 for the top end US corporate and cap markets practices in Hong Kong / China. This is not really new news, as its been the feeling most in the market have had for a few months now and things continue to look good.
The head of our Asia practice, Evan Jowers, has been in Hong Kong for about 10 days a month (with trips every other month to both Shanghai and Bejing) for the past 7 months (Robert Kinney and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong again March 15 to 23), and spending most of his time there meeting with senior US hiring partners at just about all the major US and UK firms there, as well as prospective candidates at all associate levels and partner levels, and when in the US, Evan works Asia hours and is regularly on the phone with such persons, as our the other members of our Asia team. Our Yuliya Vinokurova is in Hong Kong every other month and Robert is there about 5 times a year as well. While we have a solid Asia team of recruiters, Evan Jowers will spend at least some time with all of our candidates for Asia position. We have had long standing relationships, and good friendships in some cases, with hiring partners and other senior US partners in Asia for 8 years now.
Register today for the LGBT Bar’s Meet the Power Brokers: Financial Regulators event, held on Thursday, March 13 from 4:00 – 7:30pm. The event is specifically geared towards financial regulation and features an educational workshop and networking reception. Topics discussed will include the role of financial regulators, new rules and regulations related to the Dodd-Frank Act and developments in nation and international capital market regulation.
A reception will follow the workshop, allowing financial professionals to network and build relationships with individuals practicing in similar areas. The workshop will be streamed live via webinar for those individuals who are unable to attend the event in DC. For more information and to register, visit LGBTBar.org or contact Liz Youngblood at (202) 637-7661 or [email protected].
LeGaL, the LGBT Bar Association of Greater New York, would like to cordially invite you to the 2014 Annual Dinner of the LeGaL Foundation on Thursday, March 20, 2014 at Capitale. We are incredibly excited for our event this year as LeGaL celebrates the thirtieth anniversary of the bar association and the twentieth anniversary of the foundation (30/20 Celebration).
LeGaL, the LGBT Bar Association of Greater New York, would like to cordially invite you to the 2014 Annual Dinner of the LeGaL Foundation on Thursday, March 20, 2014 at Capitale. We are incredibly excited for our event this year as LeGaL celebrates the thirtieth anniversary of the bar association and the twentieth anniversary of the foundation (30/20 Celebration).
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So a lot of clients are jerks. 
