Putin, totally not gay. Like, the opposite of gay, with his cute little hat and stuff.
It was at some point during the Pleistocene Era that man first learned how to play grab ass. In the locker rooms of that day, on the golf course, pretty much anywhere you found two cavedudes hanging out, they were grabbing at each other all fun-like. Fast forwarding just a couple decades, the ancient Greeks formalized this game as wrestling and built up around the new sport a festival that would celebrate dudes just hanging out, being dudes. Greeks from all over got together and got naked and just grabbed and pulled at each other, sweat glistening off their meaty torsos. The competition itself was secondary to the camaraderie, which was mostly made up of the aforementioned tugging and pulling and rasslin’, naked bodies gyrating in tune to nature’s dictates about motion and the human form. Also at this time, someone (probably Aristotle or Plato) came up with the idea of amateurism to describe what was happening at the Games. This idea, of course, has evolved over the years into what now comprises college sports in this country along with countless amateur-themed websites that require 5 dollars for monthly subscriptions. Same kind of deal at work in both. [Ed. note: Juggalo Law is not a trained historian and, in fact, boasts loudly and often that he got into law school solely on "huge balls and forged transcripts." We're not even sure he's literate.]
Next February, the Olympics will be held in a country that would rather not hear about gay stuff, be it from prehistory, antiquity, or now. Russia, a nation in desperate thrall to the diminutive former hubcap thief Vladimir Putin, has outlawed pro-gay “propaganda.” And so now the world’s eyes turn to Russia to see what will happen when a virulently bigoted law bumps up against the notorious gay curling mafia.
* Dr. Shiping Bao, the medical examiner in the Zimmerman trial, claims that Florida state prosecutors were biased against Trayvon Martin and purposely threw the case and now he’s suing. While it’s hard to believe a prosecution could be that bad absent purposeful mismanagement, Bao’s allegations conveniently surfaced right after he was fired. [News One]
* An explanation of what happened in the Colorado recalls last night. Basically, David Kopel argues that it was a victory for the Second Amendment and the Fourteenth Amendment. It was also a victory for the idea that “democracy” should be replaced by “scheduling off-elections to minimize the representative sample of the voting populace.” Yay! [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* If you’re still hankering to read up on the legality of the impending intervention is Syria, here’s a thorough bibliography. This should keep you busy for a while. [Lawfare]
* The re-sentencing of the teacher who got 30 days for raping a 14-year-old girl was blocked today by the Montana Supreme Court as outside the authority of the trial judge. We’ll see how this resolves itself. Remember, if you outlaw taking advantage of troubled 14-year-old girls, only outlaws will take advantage of troubled 14-year-old girls. [NBC News]
* Attorney and New York public official Christine Quinn charged in prescription drug scandal. Oh. Wait. Not thatChristine Quinn. [Times Union]
* An SEC attorney files a serious lawsuit about the investment managers who collapsed the economy. Unfortunately, the suit is against the SEC itself for allegedly retaliating against the attorney when she recklessly suggested the SEC do its “job.” [Courthouse News Service]
* What’s the most dangerous state to live in? Check out this interactive graphic. Fun fact: you’re most likely to get the Clap, Chlamydia, and then get murdered in Washington, D.C. Ah, Washington. [Top Masters in Health Care]
* Today in Bizarro Land, “feminists” are now arguing against birth control. They also really enjoy “Blurred Lines” now. [The Guardian]
* Rhode Island’s proposed marriage equality bill might include a provision allowing for-profit vendors to opt out of serving gay couples based on homophobia personal beliefs. Imagine how well letting businesses opt out of anti-discrimination laws would have worked in taking down segregation. [Huffington Post]
At the end of August, the New Mexico Supreme Court ruled in Elane Photography v. Willock that a Christian wedding photographer violated the New Mexico Human Rights Act (NMHRA) when it refused to photograph a lesbian couple’s commitment ceremony. (New Mexico does not currently permit same-sex marriage, though all the parties and the court frequently refer to the ceremony as a wedding.) This week, one of the parties in a similar controversy in Oregon, Sweet Cakes Bakery, announced that it would be closing shop, citing its opposition to baking wedding cakes for same-sex couples.
Elane Photography argued that it did not violate the NMHRA but, if it did, this application of the law violated the photography business’s Free Speech and Free Exercise rights under the First Amendment. The court disagreed, writing that “when Elane Photography refused to photograph a same-sex commitment ceremony, it violated the NMHRA in the same way as if it had refused to photograph a wedding between people of different races.”
Personally, I’d vote for same-sex marriage if I lived in a state considering such laws. Polygamy too, for that matter. If you are listening for a full-throated defense of traditional, heterosexual marriage to the exclusion of state recognition of any other arrangement, you won’t hear it here. I’m inclined to support religious understandings of traditional marriage, but I’m libertarian enough to let everyone — straight, gay, or otherwise — suffer through the headaches of having the government divide your assets when you get divorced.
Still, using anti-discrimination laws to mandate that all businesses operating as public accommodations provide services to same-sex couples’ weddings sounds like an unnecessary imposition on the sincere religious beliefs of others — and a great way to end up with lousy wedding photos….
* A comprehensive analysis of the New York Times wedding announcements over the years. As the research team frames the question, “What do the world’s most self-important people think is important?” Unsurprisingly, the answer is “where they went to law school.” [News Genius / Rap Genius]
* The National Jurist would like to deceive convince the potential law school class of 2017 that there will be tons of jobs for them. Apparently the legions of unemployed lawyers now will just disappear in some sort of legal industry Carousel. [National Jurist]
* Elizabeth Wurtzel’s mom loves Al Jazeera because she hates pundits and talking heads. Like, for instance, Elizabeth Wurtzel. [The Daily Beast]
* Walter Olson of Overlawyered is going on the road. There are a lot of stops; check if he’s coming to a town near you. You could totally tag one of these venues in a big slip-and-fall case. [Overlawyered]
* In the midst of a slew of law deans stepping down, Dean Patricia Salkin thinks this is the perfect time to become a law dean. Elie already put his hat in the ring for every available position via Facebook. [The Faculty Lounge]
* Military personnel are guaranteed benefits for same-sex partners. Including personnel in state national guard units. But Texas has decided to deny those benefits. Yeehaw! In all seriousness, this is why all those liberals rooting for state marijuana ballot measures against the feds needed a little more foresight. [Dallas Voice]
* An interview with Helen Wan, the author of The Partner Track: A Novel (affiliate link). Keep on the lookout for David’s coming interview with Helen. [CNN]
* We bet you never thought you’d be spending Labor Day weekend debating with your relatives the legality of a U.S. military strike on Syria and the intricacies of international law. Gee, thanks President Obama. [CNN]
* Over the long holiday weekend, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg served as officiant at the gay wedding of John Roberts. No, not that John Roberts, but what an incredibly apropos coincidence that was. [Washington Post]
* Speaking of same-sex marriage, even though “[n]o one told [him] it was an easy job when [he] signed on,” Justice Anthony Kennedy revealed himself to be an ally of the gay rights movement. [New York Times]
* Two days after filing an appeal with the Third Circuit, the parents of a deceased Cozen O’Connor partner have ended their battle to deny their daughter’s profit-sharing benefits to her wife. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Twitter’s general counsel deactivated his account position with the social media giant, and looks forward to “goofing off.” Congrats to Vijaya Gadde, who will head up the company’s IPO. [Bits / New York Times]
* Biglaw’s latest scapegoat for the culling of the associate herd is the decline of Chapter 11 filings, otherwise known by industry insiders as the “bankruptcy recession.” [New York Law Journal (sub. req.)]
* Without any rabbits left to pull out of hats, it’s been predicted that by 2018, the Magic Circle will be no more. This is one disappearing act lawyers obsessed with prestige hope will never happen. [The Lawyer]
* If you want to learn more about fashion law, check out this interview with Barbara Kolsun, a woman who literally wrote the book on it (affiliate link) while serving as general counsel at Stuart Weitzman. [Corporate Counsel]
* So what has Kenneth Randall been up to since he left the deanship at Alabama School of Law? He’s working to “train law students for jobs that don’t require a bar license” over at InfiLaw. Awesome. [Tuscaloosa News]
* Legal commentators like Elie and Lat would be ecstatic if law school were two years long, but because so many others have a “vested interest in the status quo,” change will come at approximately half past never. [CNBC]
* Ronald H. Coase, influential legend of law and economics and Nobel prize winner, RIP. [Chicago Law]
* The NFL has reached a $765 million settlement with the over 4,500 retired concussion victims whose injuries paved the way for the league’s success. [Sports Illustrated]
* Dennis Rodman confidante Kim Jong-un had his ex-girlfriend executed on pornography charges. Kind of puts the whole “revenge porn” thing in perspective. [The Telegraph]
* A lawsuit against Curt Schilling, based on allegations that he deceived the state into giving his company $75 million, will go forward. Like most conservative Republicans, Schilling saw no problem with taking millions in handouts from the government so long as poor people don’t get $4.50 a day for food. [Comcast SportsNet]
* Judge Mark Bennett (N.D. Iowa) ripped the Department of Justice for creating massive drug sentencing disparities because the DOJ went years without a policy for when prosecutors should double the prison time for repeat offenders. In Northern Iowa, that’s a LOT of meth heads in prison. [Des Moines Register]
* Attorneys for the Governor of Pennsylvania equate gay marriage to letting 12-year-olds marry. Just because a demographic calls everything “gay” doesn’t make them gay. [ABA Journal]
* Study shows academics use lots of adjectives and adverbs. This is really a very terrific and awesome study. [TaxProf Blog]
* REMINDER: OK NYU, Columbia, Fordham, Cardozo, and NYLS students! It’s time to send nominations to us for where you want us to go on the Great Above the Law/Kaplan Bar Review Bar Crawl. Send bar nominations to firstname.lastname@example.org, subject: “Bar Crawl.” See you on September 18th! [Above the Law]
Have you ever wondered how nerdy libertarian types get married? (No? Just us?) Depending on your jurisprudential leanings, you’ll be either moved, amused, or emotionally scarred by this wedding ceremony, which took place on the roof of the Cato Institute earlier this summer. Here’s the video. It gets a little weird when the groom whips out his pocket Constitution — he calls it “my Bible” — and vows to “faithfully execute the office of your husband.” (But keep watching for the bride’s vows, which are sweet and heartfelt.)
Another fun (non-lawyer) wedding write-up is this one, featuring the great-granddaughter of Maria and Captain Georg von Trapp, of The Sound of Music fame.
And now for our latest legal-eagle newlywed contestants:
* President Obama joins the chorus calling for an end to the 3L year. But when will students take all those Law and “Running a Massive Domestic Spying Operation” seminars? [Buzzfeed]
* At the end of this HuffPost Live clip, Elie suggests anti-gay clergy should unsubscribe from the Bravo network. Seems unfair to those who enjoy watching “Real Housewives of the Provo Tabernacle.” [HuffPo Live]
* Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant formed a dominant NBA Jam team. But without Grant, Pippen got dismantled by the duo of Easterbrook and Posner (and Williams). [FindLaw]
* Jim Beam has resuscitated Seinfeld attorney Jackie Chiles in a new ad campaign about suing bears for stealing honey. It mkaes slightly more sense when you see the whole ad. Slightly. [Hollywood Reporter]
* Judge E. Curtissa Colfield seems to have gotten a little drunker than she thought the other night and started berating cops. Maybe drinking is why she had that problem getting those decisions issued on time. [Legal Juice]
* Is rapping about crime probative to charges of committing a crime? Both the majority and dissenting opinion are worth a read. [Las Vegas Law Blog]
* Speaking of…. Taking the Notorious R.B.G. label seriously, here’s some SCOTUS-themed lyrics to Biggie’s Juicy. Embed after the jump….
If your firm is in ‘go’ mode when it comes to recruiting lateral partners with loyal clients, then take this quiz to see how well you measure up. Keep track of your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ responses.
1. Does your firm have a clearly defined strategy of practice groups that are priorities of growth for your office? Nothing gets done by random chance, but with a clear vision for the future. Identify the top practice areas for which you wish to add lateral partners. Seek input from practice group leaders and get specifics on needs, outcomes, and ideal target profiles.
2. In addition to clarifying your firm’s growth strategy, are you still open to the hire of a partner outside of your plan? I’ve made several placements that fit this category. The partner’s practice was not within the strategic growth plan of my client, but once the two parties started talking with each other, we all saw how it could indeed be a seamless fit. Be open to “Opportunistic Hires.” You never know where your next producing partner might come from, so you have to be open to it. I will be the first to admit that there is a quirky element of randomness in recruiting.
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: email@example.com.
We currently have a very exciting and rare type of in-house opening in China at one of the world’s leading internet and social media companies. Our client is looking for an IP Transactional / TMT / Licensing attorney with 2 to 6 years experience. The new hire will be based in Shenzhen or Shanghai. Mandarin is not required (deal documentation will be in English) but is preferred. A solid reason to be in China and a commitment to that market is required of course. This new hire will likely be US qualified (but could also be qualified in UK or other jurisdictions) and with experience and training at a top law firm’s IP transactional / TMT practice and could be currently at a law firm or in-house. Qualified candidates currently Asia based, Europe based or US based will be considered. The new hire’s supervisors in this technology transactions in-house team are very well regarded US trained IP transactional lawyers, with substantial experience at Silicon Valley firms. The culture and atmosphere in this in-house group and the company in general is entrepreneurial, team oriented, and the work is cutting edge, even for a cutting edge industry. The upside of being in an important strategic in-house position in this fast growing and world leading internet company is of the “sky is the limit” variety. Its a very exciting place to be in China for a rising IP transactional lawyer in our opinion, for many reasons beyond the basic info we can share here in this ad / post. This is a special A+ opportunity.
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