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* Donald Trump slapped with sanctions. [South Florida Lawyers] * The very, very, very long arm of Canadian jurisdiction. [Slate] * Alafair Burke, author of All Day and a Night (affiliate link), lists her favorite “lawyers are people too” books. In other words, fiction. [Omnivoracious] * The latest assault on Hillary Clinton — dusting off an old story about a particularly nasty case where she served as a court-appointed attorney — is the latest in a string of political attacks on the foundation of the criminal defense system. [Washington Post] * Tomorrow, the Family Violence Appellate Project is throwing a battle of the bands! “Banding Together To End Domestic Violence” features bands from law firms and businesses competing at San Francisco’s 1015 Folsom club. Voting is “Chicago-style,” with each vote $1. Buy tickets and submit “votes” at their website. [Family Violence Appellate Project] * Professor Glenn Cohen of Harvard Law appeared on Rachel Maddow last night to discuss whether or not doctors should participate in executions. I guess no one would be around to complain about the six-month-old issue of People in the waiting area. Video below. [Rachel Maddow Show]

What might the law firm website of the future look like? Thoughts from Kevin O'Keefe of LexBlog.

Small-firm columnist Keith Lee looks at how widely courts are citing Wikipedia.

Prospective law students want to know which prestigious law school will help them get the most tail.

If you're searching for a job, you need to clean up your Google footprint. Here's how.

Outdated legal concepts collide with new technology.

Judge Kozinski's decision on this one seems a bit curious.

The Social Law Firm Index: a review of the Am Law 50's use of social media in the areas of reach, engagement, and owned media.

* Wal-Mart may recall loads of donkey meat from their stores. Not because they sold donkey meat — they intended to do that — but because there was fox meat mixed in. What does the Fox Say? Nothing, because it was ground into donkey meat. The end. [MSN Money] * Of course Colorado got rid of mile marker 420. But it’s not because they don’t like weed — it’s legal there, after all — check out the real reason. [Lowering the Bar] * Judges are reading briefs on iPads now? Here’s how you write a brief for a judge who has an app for “law.” [Columbia Business Law Review] * A listing of this lawyer’s previous representations. In the words of our tipster: “Don’t know what’s worse: Courtney Love or the Gambino crime family.” [Andrew Mancilla, Esq.] * The Ninth Circuit gave the go-ahead for about 60,000 tech workers to sue Google, Apple, and other companies for artificially driving down wages by agreeing not to poach each others’ employees. Hey, give these folks some love, not every one of them is going to go start a new video game company. [Reuters] * A lot of Cuban-American families in Miami blow a lot of money on quinceañeras. Here’s a way to recoup some funds: throw a completely innocent party and wait for the cops to come by and commit police brutality. This guy netted $90,000 that way. [Miami New Times]

Why are law firms putting effort into social media, and how well are they doing?

DOJ gets a lot of use out of that black highlighter.

* The hits keep on coming for Curt Schilling. Now the SEC has woken up and decided to probe the $75 million he secured from the state of Rhode Island (already the subject of another suit). Maybe he can fake another bloody sock to generate some sympathy. [Bloomberg] * Apple sold a “Season Pass” to Breaking Bad Season 5 and then refused to honor the second half of the season to its subscribers, prompting an Ohio doctor to file suit for $20, with hopes of building a class action. Look, Apple needed that money; Tim Cook is desperate these days. [Deadline: Hollywood] * Speaking of Apple, the Federal Circuit looks like it’s going to give Apple another crack at its claim that Google ripped off the iPhone patents, citing “significant” errors on the part of the last judge to rule on the dispute: Richard Posner. You come at the king, you best not miss. [Wall Street Journal] * And last, but definitely not least, Apple’s new fingerprint ID will be the death of the Fifth Amendment. Discuss. [Wired] * A film chock-full of unsanctioned footage and insulting knocks on Disney has been picked up for distribution. This is your official warning that it’s time to prepare the beauty pageant pitch for the Disney execs. [Grantland] * Elie smash, Charlotte Law School. [NPR Charlotte] * The International Association of Young Lawyers conference will feature a speed dating session (on page 6). Really hard-hitting program there. [International Association of Young Lawyers] * Congratulations to the 49 firms honored for meeting all of WILEF’s criteria for Gold Standard certification at today’s awards gala! [Women in Law Empowerment Forum]

* Should Eliot Spitzer have faced harsher sanctions for pounding hookers? It’s a pretty interesting question that we can all ponder for the next four years after Spitzer demolishes Scott Stringer in the Comptroller race. [Wise Law] * Homeowners were forced to pay hundreds in legal charges for lawsuits that don’t really exist. Stay classy foreclosure practices. [Overlawyered] * Blackacre: The Poem. [Poetic Justice] * The New York State Bar says lawyers have a reasonable expectation of privacy if they use Gmail. Google disagrees. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog] * A round-up of law school officials facing discipline for deceitful advertising. Take note deans. [TaxProf Blog] * A woman is indicted for taking her 13-year-old daughter to get an abortion. And it’s not even Alabama. [Wild About Trial] * Lawyer and witness repeatedly flip each other off during cross. Video after the jump…

Kristina Tsamis, ATL's Research Manager, shares some career advice for JD/MBAs that was presented at a panel discussion hosted by the Cornell Law School Alumni Association and Duke Law School.

* You think you know Justice Clarence Thomas, but you have no idea. Here are several myths about the silent Supreme Court star that he was capable of busting in just this term alone. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* According to the CBO, the immigration reform bill being considered in the Senate would allow eight million immigrants to gain legal status and lower the deficit by billions. But alas, dey still terk er jerbs! [NPR]

* Google is doing its best to try not to be evil by asking the FISA court to ease up on gag orders preventing the internet giant from telling the world about what it’s required to give to the government. [Washington Post]

* Florida firm Becker & Poliakoff will withhold 20% of equity partners’ pay, a move that made some lawyers cry. The firm is apparently planning to save the cash for a rainy day. [Daily Business Review]

* Paul Mannina, an attorney with the Labor Department charged with sexually assaulting a coworker, was found in his cell with his throat slashed. Police are investigating the death. [Washington Post]

* FYI, your aspirational pro bono hours — or complete and utter lack thereof — will now be public record in New York, and you must report them on your biannual registration forms. [New York Law Journal]

* Coming soon to a law school near you: really old books from the 13th century that’ll probably turn into dust if you dare try to read them. You can find this nerdgasm over at Yale Law. [National Law Journal]

* The family of Lauren Giddings, the slain Mercer Law graduate, has filed a $5 million wrongful death suit in federal court against accused killer Stephen McDaniel in the hopes of finding her remains. [Telegraph]

The government's case against Apple hits a major snag when Apple's counsel rips up the star witness.

Which legal eagles soared into the National Law Journal's list of the Top 100 this year?

* The Department of Justice has reached yet another settlement in the Deepwater Horizon oil spill case, this time with Transocean Ltd. for $1.4 billion in civil and criminal penalties and fines. [National Law Journal]

* “[W]ith success comes regulatory scrutiny.” Google convinced the FTC to close its ongoing antitrust probe by promising to change its allegedly shady patent usage and purportedly skewed search terms. [Bloomberg]

* According to Littler Mendelson, federal contractors might want to consider sending out sequestration-related layoff notices to employees in order to comply with the WARN Act. America, f**k yeah! [Government Executive]

* Governor Andrew Cuomo will have a major impact on the New York Court of Appeals when appointing new judges. It could be a partisan decision, but his father, former Governor Mario Cuomo, insists his son will leave politics at home. [Capital New York]

* When you write in defense of the value proposition of law school, you wind up in the op-ed pages of the NYT. When you tell the truth about it, you wind up in the opinion pages of the WSJ. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Remember Danae Couch, the Texas Tech law student who was crowned as Miss Texas? She’ll compete for the Miss America title next weekend. If you’d like to help her become a finalist, you can vote for her here! [KFYO]

Learn about how two lawyers built a nine-figure business.

* Billable hours in Biglaw are down 1.5 percent, and 15 percent of U.S. firms are planning to reduce their partnership ranks in early 2013. Thanks to Wells Fargo for bringing us the news of all this holiday cheer! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Hostess may be winding down its business and liquidating its assets, but Biglaw will always be there to clean up the crumbs. Jones Day, Venable, and Stinson Morrison Hecker obviously think money tastes better than Twinkies. [Am Law Daily]

* How’s that “don’t be evil” thing working out for you? Google’s $22.5M proposed privacy settlement with the FTC over tracking cookies planted on Safari browsers was accepted by a federal judge. [Bloomberg]

* Greenberg Traurig and Hunton & Williams face a $7.2B suit from Allen Stanford’s receiver over a former attorney of both firms’ alleged involvement in the ex-knight’s Ponzi scheme. [Houston Business Journal]

* Perhaps the third time will be the charm: ex-Mayer Brown partner Joseph Collins was convicted, again, for helping Refco steal more than $2B from investors by concealing the company’s fraud. [New York Law Journal]

* H. Warren Knight, founder of alternative dispute resolution company JAMS, RIP. [National Law Journal]