Immigration

* The poster state for Planned Parenthood may be picking a fight with the Obama administration over funding Planned Parenthood. [Los Angeles Times]

* Yesterday, Justice John Paul Stevens delivered a speech on the need for legal representation of immigrants. Es muy importante. ¿Puedo ir al baño? Gracias. [New York Times]

* Justice Stevens also criticized a recent Supreme Court decision on prosecutorial misconduct in his speech. Said the current Court is one bowtie short of a… then he trailed off. But he’s pretty sure they got what he was saying. [WSJ Law Blog]

* In the wake of the King & Spalding mess, a look at how other law firms vet controversial clients. [Am Law Daily]

* “Wife of stoned QB passes on taking the stand.” [New York Post]

* The U.S. government has filed suit against Deutsche Bank, accusing them of fraud. Something something schaudenfraud. [Washington Post]

* Medical-pot dispensaries in Washington fear raids, crave Doritos. [Seattle Times]

* BP has its granny panties in a bunch over Transocean’s liability for the oil spill. So they’re suing. [Bloomberg]

* Major League Baseball sought to take over the Dodgers from Frank McCourt yesterday. Your move, Wilpon. [Los Angeles Times]

* Tax Lady Roni DEUTCH may be thrown in jail. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in this video, but definitely wait for the thrown dog. [ABA Journal]

* Juvenile killers are hoping to reach the Supreme Court in an effort to overturn their life sentences. If their cases make it that far, they’ll undoubtedly find a certain justice who only cares about inferior MP3 players and Emilio Estefan. [New York Times]

* Something called the Second Amendment Foundation has sued Massachusetts over their law forbidding legal immigrants from owning handguns. Crocodile Dundee didn’t need a handgun. [Fox News Latino]

Matt Kluger

* Baker & McKenzie is being sued for $600 million. First they were the inspiration for Philadelphia. Then they gave me a cold offer. Now this? Horrific mistakes, all. [Sports Money / Forbes]

* Meanwhile, Bingham McCutchen is preemptively suing Frank McCourt for letting them screw him over so badly. [Los Angeles Times]

* The middleman in the Matthew Kluger brouhaha, Kenneth Robinson, has pleaded guilty to securities fraud charges. No word yet on whether he is a gay dad. [Bloomberg]

* The Ninth Circuit ruled that the most controversial parts of the Arizona immigration law will remain blocked. [Washington Post]

* A man was fired from his job as a part-time urine monitor because he was born a woman. He’s suing (with help from Gibson Dunn), but has already found new employment. As a package handler. [New York Times]

* Speaking of packages, this employment discrimination lawsuit filed against a Dallas law firm is struggling with penis ID. [ABA Journal]

* NFL owners and players have been ordered into mediation by a federal judge. Who gives a sh*t? It’s a great band, it’s a bad band. It’s like pizza, baby! [ESPN]

* Some people regret going to law school; Rachel Kramer Bussel regrets not finishing. But she wound up at the same delicious destination as so many JDs, namely, cupcakes. [The Gloss and Cupcakes Take the Cake]

* Speaking of law school, Professor Dan Filler asks: Despite all the gloom and doom, is now actually an ideal time to apply? [The Faculty Lounge]

* Still on the law school beat, here’s the latest proposal from the LST gang on how to improve the reporting of employment outcomes. [Law School Transparency]

It's Britney, b**ch.

* Deal flow was fabulous in the first quarter of 2011 — and the M&A boom shows no signs of letting up. [Am Law Daily]

* Sue me baby one more time? Everyone wants a piece of her. [Radar Online]

* Bad news for same-sex, bi-national married couples confronting immigration issues. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* A few law firms made this list of best 401(k) plans. [Bloomberg Businessweek]

* Here’s an interesting (and free) program coming up, “JD in the New Economy: Multiple Perspectives.” [West LegalEdcenter]

Professors Richard Epstein and John Yoo

* Over the weekend, while I was at the gym, I listened to this engaging and entertaining podcast, with Professors Richard Epstein and John Yoo. They discuss Libya, Obamacare, and — perhaps most interesting for ATL readers — the U.S. News law school rankings (around the 13-minute mark). [Ricochet (subscription); accessible for free for ATL readers over here (mp3)]

* Speaking of law professors and Libya, my friend and former co-clerk, Professor William Birdthistle, is writing an interesting series of posts about his childhood in that now war-torn land. The first appears here. [The Conglomerate]

* Joining the ranks of law professors: former Supreme Court shortlister Larry Thompson, who’s retiring as general counsel of PepsiCo and entering legal academia. [Corporate Counsel]

* Hey Raj Rajaratnam, look on the bright side: at least you’re not Barry Bonds. [Dealbreaker]

* A close and critical look at the PayScale salary data used by Forbes in its recent analysis of law school graduate salaries (as well as its ranking of “best law schools for getting rich”). [Constitutional Daily]

Ken Kratz wins 'The Prize' of no criminal charges.

* A post-mortem for Yoss LLP (formerly known as Adorno & Yoss), the once high-flying Florida law firm. [Daily Business Review (registration) via WSJ Law Blog]

* Former Wisconsin D.A. Ken Kratz, of “I am the prize” fame, won’t face criminal charges. [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]

* Good news for same-sex, bi-national married couples confronting immigration issues. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]

* Adrian Dayton asks: Are referrals still more important than law blogs for developing business? [Marketing Strategy and the Law]

* Blawg Review #304 has a timely theme — “Spooked by Nukes” — as well as some cool photography. [Declarations and Exclusions via Blawg Review]

When in need of a pic of a T.V. cheerleader, am I right to go with Minka Kelly over Hayden Panettiere? Can we get some kind of ruling on this?

* Is it possible that in South Dakota you have to go through a shorter waiting period to buy a gun and shoot someone who is already alive than you have to go through in order to have an abortion? Could somebody check on that? [MSNBC]

* Did you see this chart showing that law professors make more than all other professors at the college level? I think I forgot to mention it because when my brain sees such horrible atrocities it enacts self-defense protocols and deletes the knowledge from my… Did you see this chart showing that law professors… [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Same-sex couple gets deportation put on hold to pursue marriage-based immigration case. I think we’re all safer when Homeland Security isn’t run by Leviticus. [Stop the Deportations]

* If cheerleading were a real sport, this lawsuit might be really interesting. [Jezebel]

* If you think our coolest law firm bracket is dorky (don’t forget, voting ends tonight at midnight), you should check out what the bankruptcy people at Weil are up to. [Bankruptcy Blog]

* Once you get off the legal treadmill, do you ever have the urge to go back? “… That’s pride f**king with you. F**k pride.” [Law and More]

* If you think about it, pay raises should really come in the spring, when everything is new and happy, instead of the middle of winter, when everything is cold and dead. [What About Clients?]

* An obituary for Warren Christopher, former O’Melveny partner (and secretary of state, too). [Huffington Post]

Lindsay Lohan

* Obama has created an indefinite detention system for prisoners held at Guantanamo Bay. Because he’s too soft on terrorism to make it definite. [Washington Post]

* Utah’s new immigration laws will create a legal storm. El Niño! Spanish for The… Niño! [USA Today]

* Lilo finally starred in another movie, and former wet poodle perm enthusiast Marcia Clark is here to break it down for you. [Entertainment Tonight News]

* Hiring partners have entered the U.S. News rankings fray. Number 1? Yep, Cooley. [U.S. News & World Report]

Charlie Sheen

* Some New Yorkers are suing over a bike lane in Brooklyn. Four wheels good, two wheels bad! [New York Times]

* “Pow! Appeals court upholds comic con’s guilty plea.” [New York Post]

* Charlie Sheen’s attorney isn’t wasting any time fighting Tiger Blood’s dismissal from that show he starred in with Duckie and the lumpy kid. [Hollywood Reporter; New York City Employment Lawyer]

* Yesterday, the Supreme Court agreed to decide whether Congress may take works out of the public domain and slap a copyright on them. I’m never going to fill this Zune up if I can’t score some free Stravinsky. [Wired News]

Hal Turner

* Apparently hearsay exceptions are still hard to grasp, even for justices on the Supreme Court. [CNN Justice]

* Threaten judges over a ban on guns and your own guns get banned. Hal Turner gets pistol-whipped by karma. [Bloomberg]

* Obama is giving states the “flexibility” to drop federal health care reform by 2014 — that is, if the Supreme Court doesn’t hear the issue before then. [New York Times]

* Would you still eat a chick’s taco if she told you she was only 88% real woman? Taco Bell employs the tranny surprise method in its latest post-lawsuit ad campaign. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Yeah, we know Obama told us to stop defending DOMA. Well, we’re not defending DOMA, we’re just not not enforcing it. [San Jose Mercury News]

* I bet students at SMU Law are psyched that they’re going into massive loan debt so that they can pay their classmates’ salaries. [National Law Journal]

* Protip: if you ever get prosecuted for knowingly hiring illegal immigrants, just blame it on your Latino HR director. ¡Sí se puede! [Washington Post]

Julian Assange

* A British court ruled that Julian Assange should be extradited to Sweden. [Reuters]

* Governor Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii signed into law a bill legalizing same-sex civil unions. Men, barbecue, I like you, I like you too dawg, let’s get… civil unioned? [Honolulu Star-Advertiser]

* Seems like Betty Boop was passed around like a two-bit whore. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Lindsay! Lindsay Lohan! Who are you wearing? [Entertainment Weekly]

Lindsay Lohan

* More than 100 law professors are lobbying Congress to apply an ethics code to the Supreme Court. In related news, Clarence Thomas continues to troll the f**k out of a bunch of law professors. [ABA Journal]

* Arizona might have a host of new anti-immigration laws. The state hasn’t been this welcoming since The Brothers Brothers were working for their tourism commission. [New York Times]

* “Teachers accused of steamy lesbian romp fire back at city with $2M suit.” [New York Post]

* A “barroom brawl” between law firm partners results in one partner leaving the firm. WEAK. Men should be able to beat the crap out of each other, shake hands when they’re finished, and still be able to do business together. [ABA Journal]

* A public defender got a TRO against a judge who allegedly slammed her to the ground. WEAK. Women should be able to get body slammed by enraged judges, receive treatment for their injuries, and go back to work without needing a TRO. (Dude, that’s the last time I try this “intellectual consistency” BS; it just makes me sound stupid.) [Penn Live]

* Why should I even try to be intellectually consistent when South Dakotans are so addled that they can’t see the flaw with caring about the sanctity of human life so much that they’re willing to kill innocent people to protect it? [Mother Jones]

* Thankfully we did not deport one member of a loving couple on Valentine’s Day. [Metro Weekly via Stop the Deportations]

* According to a recent survey, way too many of you are hooking up with people you work with. When two of you end up plastered all over ATL, go on and cry in your coffee, but don’t come bitching to me. [Vault]

* Protip for law profs: creating hypotheticals that involve killing your dean is probably not a good idea (even if it might be protected academic freedom). [Althouse]

* For those playing along at home, putting cocaine extract in your soft drink is okay. But putting alcohol in your soft drinks constitutes a grave danger to young people all across the country. [Gizmodo]

* A Turkish company wins the public vote to make the new yellow cab for New York City. They’re the only ones where every cab will be handicap accessible. You like free markets? Then don’t complain when young Turks are just better. [Alt Transport]

* Between the adventures of the City of Austin’s solid waste department and what’s going on in Fort Wayne now, you wonder how long it will take old people to figure out that letting “the internet” name things is not a very good idea. [Feedback Fort Wayne]

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