Kids

* You call that a raise? After 12 years of stagnant salaries for state judges, New York’s Commission on Judicial Compensation sure has a funny way of “correcting injustice.” [New York Times]

* Hope you had some D.C. firms on your bid list for OCI, because they seem to be on a hiring spree. Is there room for all of these newbies? [Washington Post]

* Maybe if we let Jacoby & Meyers get some non-lawyer investors, they could afford better commercials. Come on, even the ABA thinks the law should be run like a business. [New York Law Journal]

* O’Melveny wants to give new parents advice on transitioning back to work. After losing talent earlier this year, perhaps the firm could have used some transition advice itself? [The Careerist]

* My parents “ruined my life” a lot when I was a teenager, but I never sued over it. Unfortunately for these plaintiffs, being a snotty little brat isn’t a valid cause of action in Illinois. [Chicago Tribune]

Glenda McDaniel and Mark McDaniel, parents of Stephen McDaniel, arriving at court this morning.

Bad news keeps on coming for Stephen Mark McDaniel, 25, the recent Mercer Law School graduate accused of killing Lauren Giddings, his former neighbor and classmate. This morning a judge found probable cause in the murder case against McDaniel, which will now be bound over to Bibb County Superior Court. The judge also denied bail to Stephen McDaniel, who has been in Bibb County jail since July 1 (on unrelated burglary charges; he also faces kiddie porn charges).

We were fortunate enough to have a reader at this morning’s hearing. Let’s hear what this roving reporter has to say….

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Stephen McDaniel

It seems that Stephen Mark McDaniel just can’t catch a break. First the recent Mercer Law School graduate gets accused of murdering his former neighbor and classmate, Lauren Giddings. Then he’s hit with lurid charges of child pornography possession. He has been in Bibb County jail for almost two months, and the incarceration has been taking its toll on him.

And now, according to the Macon Telegraph, Stephen McDaniel is being fingered as the author of some exceedingly creepy postings to internet message boards. If the claims of his authorship are true, they will definitely not help his case.

We’ve called the postings “chilling” and “creepy,” but you don’t have to take our word for it. Check them out for yourself….

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Would you force your kid to eat this?

Sometimes kids can be really annoying and behave really badly. Luckily for my parents, I was a little bit of both when I was younger. After throwing a spare rib at someone’s head in a Chinese restaurant, my parents didn’t take me out to dinner with them for months. After throwing a puzzle at the wall and making a huge hole in it, my parents didn’t allow me to have playdates for a while. Apparently, I was a big fan of throwing things when I was a little girl.

But my parents never hit me, and they certainly never abused me. They just took things away, and made me see that there were consequences for my actions. My parents are awesome. And look at what a fine specimen I turned out to be! Now I make fun of people on the internet for a living. They’re so proud.

Now, I don’t have kids, but from what I see happening around me, I feel like parents just don’t know how to be parents anymore. But they do know how to be drama queens. Case in point: an Alaska mother was so desperate to get on the Dr. Phil show that she filmed herself forcing her child to hold hot sauce in his mouth and shoving him into a cold shower.

Is this child abuse? You bet your ass it is, and this bad mommy might be going to jail for it….

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Stephen McDaniel

Things just got a lot more complicated for Stephen McDaniel, the 25-year-old Mercer Law School graduate accused of killing his former neighbor and classmate, Lauren Giddings. As we mentioned last night, McDaniel has been hit with seven charges of sexual exploitation of children.

So even if McDaniel is cleared of the Giddings murder, he’s still looking at a whole host of other allegations. As you may recall, what originally landed him in the Bibb County jail were two counts of burglary (namely, filching condoms from other apartments at the Barristers Hall complex). Now he stands accused of child pornography possession, facing possible exposure of five to 20 years in prison on each charge.

At the time we originally mentioned the kiddie porn charges yesterday, we didn’t have the dirty details. Now we do.

If you have the stomach for it, keep on reading….

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* According to the latest allegations, Hacksaw McDaniel might be Steve the Child Sex Predator. [Macon Telegraph]

* Libyans. We’re very happy you took your country back, but could you pass a law saying something like “shooting guns in the air as a celebration is just f***ing dumb”? Thanks. [Huffington Post]

* I absolutely do not rule out the possibility that lawyers are, on average, genetically predisposed to be miserable bastards. [ABA Journal]

* Man, it has not been a good week for alleged rape victims. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Facebook + ATL = Kash’s fascination with privacy. [Not So Private Parts / Forbes]

* How screwed is the U? (Translation for non-sports fans: Miami University U. Miami is famous for breaking NCAA rules, and appears to have broken more NCAA rules.) [Legal Blitz]

* Here’s how the finance industry reacted to the quake. [Dealbreaker]

* And in the fashion industry, well, I’m just waiting for the “quake nip slip” photos to start popping up. [Fashionista]

Jerome Fishkin

What kind of people search out an attorney who, um … yeah.

Jerome Fishkin, an ethics attorney, noting that attorney Nabil Samaan’s supportive comments relating to the apparent murder-suicide of niece Madeline Layla Samaan-Fay and brother Mourad “Moni” Samaan may be detrimental to Samaan’s law practice.

(The Center for Judicial Excellence has announced it will file a complaint with the State Bar of California demanding Nabil Samaan’s disbarment.)

We’ve done a million Brady blogs. Every one of them, we try to put a different spin on why he’s the best. For this, the pictures we had, that was the spin.

— Blogger David Portnoy of Barstool Sports commenting on a visit from the police after he posted a naked picture of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s child on his website.

(Before police arrived, Portnoy received — and ignored — a cease-and-desist letter from none other than supermodel Gisele Bundchen, the child’s mother. Apparently the “spin” here was a comment made in reference to the size of the child’s genitalia, comparing it to that of Brady. The picture has since been removed. Stay classy, Boston.)

When I was a child, my mom’s friend visited the house and brought her newborn baby with her. Without warning, the woman whipped out her boob and began feeding the newborn in front of me and all of God’s creation. I stared for an uncomfortably long ten seconds at the parasitic orgy, then quickly scampered behind the curtains located less than five feet from the feeding frenzy. As I stood behind the curtains, my face beet red with embarrassment, my mother and her friend tried to coax me out, assuring me that everything would be okay. After an unusually long time behind those curtains, I stomped past the horror and made a beeline to the kitchen. I had to conquer my fear. I was also determined to salvage what was left of my 14th birthday party.

Segue.

And so it was that a lady filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, claiming that she was fired from her job as a teacher because she had to leave the classroom to suck milk out of her boob.

Moooooo-re after the jump!

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Back in 2009, some teen girls in Indiana had a sleepover that lived up to any teen boy’s fantasy version of one. After racy photos from the summer slumber party made their way to the principal’s office, two of the athletes in attendance were suspended from school sports for the year. That’s, like, totally unfair, said the ACLU, which helped the students sue the school, alleging violation of their First Amendment right to post slutty photos of themselves online.

The girls took photos of themselves “playing” with “phallic-shaped rainbow colored lollipops,” in the court’s words. It sounds like the oh-so-innocent unicorn horn lollipop to me. Though unicorns are usually associated with purity and virginity, these girls took the horn in a different direction, using it in photo shoots that simulated various sexual positions. I’ll leave the descriptions to the court, which wrote one of the racier opinions [pdf] I’ve ever come across (via Professor Eric Goldman’s Technology and Marketing Law Blog)….

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