Labor / Employment

On Wednesday, the EEOC filed an action against United Health Programs of America Inc. and Cost Containment Group, Inc. alleging that the companies infringed the civil rights of its employees by forcing them to be Onionheads. Did you even know that was a thing? It’s like Christianity, if the Bible were written in Comic Sans.

Well, apparently it is, and among the Onionhead religious practices that the EEOC describes are forcing employees “to thank God for their employment” and to tell their bosses “I love you.” This sounds like a typical day in Biglaw. Indeed, a typical Saturday night in Biglaw.

But wait, there’s more to this religion….

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* The intellectual property history of dog leashes. How long is a patent in dog years? [Slate]

* Trinity Western University, the new law school that bans gay people, just earned a thumbs down vote from thousands of area lawyers objecting to its accreditation. [CBC]

* 10 real-life laws that regulate the supernatural world. [io9]

* There’s a new bill of rights in this country and it comes from the IRS. The right to basically avoid taxes is only on the form for rich people. [TaxProf Blog]

* Mass incarceration in this country degrades citizenship. Sadly, this statement needed to be made. [Boston Review]

* After receiving an award, a young lawyer blasts legal aid cuts. [Legal Cheek]

* The Daily Show examines the ongoing effort to unionize college football with commentary by Dee Dee Benkie. She’s wrong of course — college football unions would work like professional sports unions representing players who face exactly the same workplace hazards, instead of stereotypical longshoremen — but it’s good to see even an anti-union advocate agreeing that players deserve something more than what they currently get. Video below…. [The Daily Show]

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* Beastie Boys prevail in another intellectual property fight. This time winning $1.7 million from Monster Energy — the drink that guarantees you’ll get no sleep until Brooklyn. [Grantland]

* Law school hands out the wrong exam. To the whole class. [Legal Cheek]

* Best politico defense of taking a bribe: I was too drunk to realize I was being bribed! [New York Post]

* Lawyer wrote “go ahead and disbar me” to Departmental Disciplinary Committee. Sometimes there’s no just bluff to call. [Legal Profession Blog]

* One more problem with high student debt: debt alone can nix your character and fitness approval. [Arizona Law Review]

* A celebration of courtroom illustrators in light of the release of The Illustrated Courtroom: 50 Years of Court Art (affiliate link) [Illustrated Courtroom]

* Vice Media is doing tremendous work exposing injustices. Perhaps they need to look into their own office. (UPDATE: Vice has changed its ways and now pays its interns.) [Capital New York]

* In a comical bout of karma, a landlord sued its blogger resident for alleged defamation. Next thing you know, HUD inspection records come to light. Let’s just say the landlord should be very unhappy that truth is a defense. [Columbus Dispatch]

* Check out the conclusion of ReplyAll’s conversation with John Grisham. [Above the Law]

* Do you think someone is not happy with Jones Foster’s billing practices?

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* Crim Law exam features Fifty Shades of Grey prequel as fact pattern. [Legal Cheek]

* You’d think being in jail would be a pretty good alibi. But that’s not the Chicago Way! [Overlawyered]

* How many law professors have wished they could say this before? “Don’t give me any of your s**tty papers and you get an A.” [Critical-Theory via TaxProf Blog]

* Lawyer powerlifting to raise money for mentoring programs. Because donating to charity is more fun when it comes with the risk of severe groin injuries. [Chicago Tribune]

* U.S. News has a list of ways being a paralegal first can help with law school. It’s dumb. There’s only one reason paralegal experience helps and that’s to meet practicing lawyers and figure out whether or not law school is even worth it. [U.S. News]

* In the past, Professor Nancy Leong was accused of narcissism. But she doesn’t seem to be attention-seeking at all based on this publicly posted shot. Maybe she can post that on Ashley Madison and see what happens… [Instagram]

* Regulating imports could drastically improve labor conditions around the world (and potentially bring more jobs back home). But that could curtail profits by a smidgeon so let’s table that discussion. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* A former AUSA on the Phil Mickelson/Carl Icahn insider trading case and wiretaps. [mitchellepner]

* John Oliver made a powerful appeal to the Internet to take action in defense of Net Neutrality. If you want to know what you can do (or don’t even understand the issue) and laugh at the same time, the video is embedded below… [Huffington Post]

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One of the best parts of Above the Law is seeing lawyers use their skills in inspiring ways. Sometimes that involves standing up to racist practices and other times it involves actively trolling the wacky stuff we write about. This is the latter case.

Yesterday, we wrote about a curious job listing that a recruiter posted seeking applicants for an Am Law 100 firm that expressly forbid Scorpios. It was a fun little posting designed to catch the eye of Above the Law applicants and we gave it its due appreciation for creativity.

But one Scorpio reader decided to take it a step further and apply for the job with an equally creative cover letter. And they responded….

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Well, times have changed a bit…

Today’s horoscope for Scorpio reads:

In order to get what you want, you are almost certainly going to have to compromise. That could mean anything, so keep your ears open and your mind flexible. Things make more sense soon.

And apparently, that compromise includes coming to grips with the knowledge that you have no shot at the latest job listing from an AmLaw 100 firm. Because they have a real problem with 1/12th of the population….

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* Who is the “Man In Black?” If you said, “Johnny Cash” you’d have been wrong in this instance. But right in life. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Oh screw these guys. Hospital fires a radiation therapist who helped the mother of a cancer patient get in touch with the kid’s favorite football team. [Courthouse News Service]

* The latest on Net Neutrality. [LXBN]

* More news in the struggle to end unpaid internships — plaintiffs suing Warner Bros. have been granted the right to invite more people to a class action party. [Inside Counsel]

* There’s a quirk of the criminal justice system unfairly hurting African-Americans. I’m sorry, I thought that was all the criminal justice system. [PolicyMic]

* We’ve been wondering where Ed Siskel would land after leaving the Office of White House Counsel. Well, now we know. Congratulations WilmerHale. [Main Justice]

* Congrats to Diane Humetewa, the first Native American woman to serve as a federal judge in United States history. You’d think this achievement would’ve already been reached. [Arizona Daily Star]

* When your case is compared to a law school exam, and the judge uses the number “bazillion” to describe the problems that could happen, it sucks to be you, Detroit. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Dewey know when this failed firm actually went belly up? It’s liquidating trustee says D&L was insolvent in 2009, and wants $22.5 million from ex-international partners in his latest clawback suits. [Am Law Daily]

* The managing partner of Seyfarth Shaw refers to his firm as the “Costco of corporate legal services” because it’s a place where you can “get more for less.” What’s the membership fee? [Chicago Tribune]

* The Buffalo Bills filed a motion to dismiss the wage and hour suit put forth by the disgruntled members of its cheerleading squad, the Buffalo Jills. You better hope that motion survives the “jiggle test.” [CBS Sports]

Juan Monteverde and Alexandra Marchuk

The courtroom battle between Alexandra Marchuk and the litigation boutique where she once worked, Faruqi & Faruqi, rages on. As longtime readers will recall, Marchuk alleges that F&F partner Juan Monteverde sexually harassed her, in severe fashion, and that the firm’s leaders ignored his alleged misdeeds.

But no matter who wins in court, it’s possible to argue that the firm is ending up the loser. It has endured extensive bad publicity, and some of the resulting instability has apparently led to lawyer departures.

Who are the latest attorneys to defect from Faruqi & Faruqi?

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* According to the latest Citi report, Biglaw was looking pretty good during the first quarter of 2014. Revenue was up by 4.3 percent — the best first quarter results since 2008. Hooray! [Am Law Daily]

* Nice work if you can get it: Gibson Dunn, the firm hired to handle New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s “Bridgegate” investigation, billed about $1.1 million for roughly two weeks of work. [NJ.com]

* A “perfect storm” of too many grads and not enough jobs caused the decline in law school enrollment. The solution is obviously online learning instead of lowering tuition. Yep. [New Hampshire Public Radio]

* Spend your summer in a “nontraditional” job setting. This is some great advice to prepare yourself for not being able to get a job at a firm after graduation. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Our congratulations go out to Catherine Wauters of George Mason Law, winner of BARBRI’s inaugural public interest fellowship! (Our very own managing editor, David Lat, served as one of the judges.) [CNBC]

* The latest football franchise to face the wrath of underpaid cheerleaders is the New York Jets. Members of the team’s “Flight Crew” say they make less than minimum wage to shake their pom poms. [Bloomberg]

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