London Crounse

Johnathan Perkins

When it comes to the protagonists of 2011’s biggest legal stories, our readers want to know: Where are they now? Last week, for example, we brought you an update on Casey Anthony, which generated keen interest (and traffic).

The recent alleged misadventures of certain UVA Law School students — students accused of breaking and entering, students accused of bothering bikers (to be fair, some bikers are obnoxious and deserve what they get) — have caused commentators to wonder: Whatever happened to Johnathan Perkins?

Johnathan Perkins was the then-3L at UVA Law who confessed to fabricating a tale of racial harassment by university police. As a result of his dishonesty, did he have to go before UVA’s famously strict Honor Committee? Did he end up getting his law degree? There was some ambiguity over whether he would graduate.

We have an update, based on a statement from the dean of the law school….

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UVA is a hell of a law school.

So, I finally caught Your Body On Drugs, the Discovery channel program narrated by Robin Williams in which scientists make people who are high on drugs perform various tasks. Frankly, I thought it would be a little bit better — like, American Gladiator, only with people on cocaine instead of steroids.

Anyway, there’s this part where the cokehead is saying cokehead things, and Robin Williams says something like “cocaine gives the users an inflated sense of self-confidence.” Then the cokehead puts together a bookshelf by balancing the wood in a general cube shape instead of actually screwing things in; it looks great but can’t actually hold any books. At the time, I thought, “Man, this is like going to UVA Law School.”

Oh, I kid, UVA Law students. But between the alleged criminal activity of current students, alleged tall tales told by former students, and all the popped collars, you gotta ask if a little humility might do the campus good?

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