Mexico

* If you haven’t been watching Netflix documentary series Making a Murderer, then you’re missing Dean Strang’s turn on the catwalk. The compassionate defense attorney has turned into an “unlikely sex symbol.” Are you part of the #StrangGang? [The Guardian]

* Sometime later today, President Barack Obama will announce a sweeping package of executive actions related to gun restrictions. Stay tuned, grab your popcorn, and get ready for some hardcore constitutional litigation. [Washington Post]

* Happy New Year! We’re not even a full week into 2016, and the first Biglaw merger has already been announced. Lewis Roca Rothgerber has picked up Christie Parker & Hale, a 40-lawyer Southern California IP boutique. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Hipsters, thou shall be avenged sevenfold: The Justice Department has filed suit against Volkswagen in the wake of the automaker’s massive emissions scandal. The DOJ is seeking billions in damages over VW’s air-pollution violations. [New York Times]

* According to Ethan Couch’s lawyer, it may be weeks or months before the affluenza teen returns to the United States. A judge issued a temporary stay in his case after Couch argued that being deported from Mexico would somehow violate his civil rights. [CNN]

* Robert Wonsch, an Oklahoma process server, was arrested after allegedly coercing his female clients into performing sex acts in exchange for lowering his fees. He’s now facing several criminal counts. Good Lord, talk about ineffective service of process… [Reuters]

* Dale Bumpers, President Clinton’s impeachment defense lawyer, RIP. [New York Times]

* Law school admissions standards have plummeted and bar exam passage rates are circling the drain. This can only mean one thing: an army of dumb would-be lawyers whose degrees aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on will “become criminals themselves — robbing liquor stores, grabbing old ladies’ handbags, selling derivatives.” [Wall Street Journal]

* A Pennsylvania attorney was charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after it was discovered that he was downloading the images at his law firm. Protip: Don’t leave pictures of nude boys engaged in sexual acts in the copier tray. [The Reporter]

* Law firms where older partners refuse to pass the baton may be in trouble. “Some law firms could crumble after this generation because they don’t have a lot to sell to the next generation.” Only 3% of managing partners belong to Generation X. [New York Times]

* DLA Piper’s London office launched a review of its pay structure in an effort to remunerate partners based on more than just billable hours alone. One wonders if this meritocracy will make its way across the pond to us here in America. [Legal Business]

* According to a landmark decision from the Mexico Supreme Court, it’s a constitutional right for people to be able to grow and smoke their own marijuana. Of course, this ruling only applies to the petitioners, but it’s a step in the right direction. [Los Angeles Times]

* This October, rappers Jay Z and Timbaland will have to testify in a lawsuit concerning copyright infringement and improper music sampling. We’ll see how “Big Pimpin'” they really are when we find out which lawyers and law firms are repping them. [Page Six / New York Post]

* This judge apparently doesn’t appreciate fighting words in pleadings. “Do you want to fight me? Is that what you want?” A West Virginia magistrate judge challenged a litigant — one who previously called the magistrate a “fat sweaty slob” in motion papers — to come to his house and “see what happens.” [Charleston Gazette-Mail]

* An ex-Texas judge was sentenced for his side job of smuggling guns into Mexico and selling them. He faced up to 70 years when he pleaded guilty to two felony counts in May, and was handed his 18-month sentence on Friday. Yeehaw! [Austin American-Statesman]

* The Idaho College of Law will begin to host first-year law school classes at its Boise campus starting in 2017. The Boise campus now serves 1Ls, 2LS, and 3Ls, but not to worry, this flyover law school’s main campus isn’t going anywhere. [Idaho Statesman]

* Julian Bond, civil rights icon, SPLC board member, former NAACP chair, RIP. [NYT]

What does legalization of cannabis in the United States have to do with helping Mexico eliminate its cartels?

*Yeah, this happened in real life, not in a Philip K. Dick short story. [Time]

*Oh burn! Cornel West responds (indirectly) to biting New Republic article. [The Root]

*Justice for sale in Texas? Sounds about right. [KCBD]

*Allegations of overbilling in Deepwater Horizon litigation. And — this may be a shock to some of our readers — turns out many of the firms involved made generous political contributions to the LA AG. [Louisiana Record]

*Eliminating salary negotiations to combat the wage gap? Who knew Biglaw’s lockstep approach to money would turn out to be progressive? [NPR]

*Columbia University’s rape problems deepen with new lawsuit about Emma Sulkowicz and her mattress “Carry that Weight” performance art. [Jezebel]

*Update in the Alan Dershowitz sex case. Now with 100% more David Boies. [American Lawyer]

*Attention New York: Prepare to swipe right. AG Eric Schneiderman is once again a bachelor. [Law and More]

*Idaho refuses to come in line with multinational treaty obligations. . . yay federalism? [Dorf on Law]

It's easy to disregard this convicted con-man, but he has a point.

* Dewey know which D&L defendants did the perp walk of shame before their arraignment yesterday? Three of the ex-executives! Even Steve Davis, who quit his job as in-house counsel to Ras al Ghul Khaimah of the UAE last week. [Am Law Daily]

* It’s about half and half when it comes to states that have filed briefs with the Tenth Circuit in support of or against the rulings striking down gay marriage bans in Utah and Oklahoma. Sadly, not everyone can be as fabulous as we’d like. [National Law Journal]

* Abortion clinics are closing their doors in Texas thanks to new legislation, and the total number of clinics in the state come September will be six. Let the Mexican medical tourism commence. [New York Times]

* Illegal immigrants can’t practice law in Florida, says the state’s Supreme Court, but they can in California. Good thing there’s eleventy billion law schools there to accommodate them. [Miami Herald]

* Webster Lucas, the fellow suing McDonald’s over an alleged race-based napkin denial that’s since prevented him from working, has sued fast food joints before. He’s a “vexatious litigant.” [NBC Los Angeles]

* If Biglaw firms wants to get back into a financial sweet spot like in their days of yore, they had better get in on these billion-dollar international arbitrations while the getting is good. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Women lawyers, please take note: your future depends on it. Apparently the key to making partner in Biglaw is to the get the backing of general counsel at big money corporate clients as a gender. [Corporate Counsel]

* ¡Ay dios mío! ¡Escándalo! Holland & Knight yoinked 10 attorneys, including three partners, right out from under Chadbourne & Parke’s nose to open up its new Mexico City office. [South Florida Business Journal]

* “If we actually got another million dollars going forward to spend on something, is the highest and best use to produce attorneys?” Even in a flyover state like Idaho, the answer to that question is a resounding yes when it comes to law school expansion. [Spokesman-Review]

* “A jurisprudence of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ does not properly safeguard [a defendant’s rights].” California Justice Goodwin Liu is raging against policies on race-based peremptory jury challenges. [The Recorder]

* “I’ve been doing Paula Deen in a strongly metaphorical sense.” The magnate of marmalade’s case may be settled, but that doesn’t mean sanctions have been taken off the table. [Courthouse News Service]

* The hefty price of killing? Following his acquittal in the death of Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman is now asking Florida to pay for his legal expenses, to the tune of $200,000 – $300,000. [Orlando Sentinel]

* Ed O’Bannon asks the NCAA to agree in writing not to retaliate against any current athlete that joins his lawsuit against the organization. How sad is it that a non-profit organization committed to helping students needs to be reminded not to retaliate against students? In other news, NCAA Football 14 (affiliate link) came out today. [USA Today] * More SCOTUS Term analysis. Tom Goldstein, Adam Liptak, and Jess Bravin have been invited to explain to the Heritage Foundation what an awesome term it had. [Heritage] * The Shelby County decision completely lacks any foundation for the argument that the Voting Rights Act violates the Constitution. Yeah, but besides that… [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * What is wrong with soccer fans? Referee stabs player and then ends up like Ned Stark. [Legal Juice] * Mayer Brown reports that Mexican leaders are lining up behind energy sector reform. [Breaking Energy] * Ever wonder about the extent of Internet censorship around the world? Here’s a handy chart showing how Google is censored in various countries around the world. [io9] * Obama caves to Republican requests to suspend law. Republicans label Obama tyrannical for suspending that law. Bravo. [Wall Street Journal]

* Justice Sonia Sotomayor just ruined Hobby Lobby’s new year by refusing to block the Affordable Care Act’s contraceptives mandate. All of the members of the company’s legal team will have to scrapbook and crochet for hours to get over this loss. [Reuters]

* Harvard Law graduate Barack Obama is being feted as CNN’s “Most Intriguing Person of 2012,” but he’s currently trailing in fourth place in the most important year-end poll of all: Above the Law’s Lawyer of the Year competition. Get out there and vote! [CNN]

* Federal district court judges aren’t being confirmed as quickly as they once were, and it’s partly because our president isn’t submitting nominees as quickly as those who came before him. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* But even if the president nominated judges more quickly, he’d continue to face harsh opposition from the NRA, which matters because the gun group has an entire party in its pocket. [Opinionator / New York Times]

* A legal problem and a journalism problem wrapped up in a little pretty bow: David Gregory of NBC’s “Meet the Press” is being investigated for displaying an alleged 30-round magazine on the air. [Washington Post]

* One of New York’s most prestigious private schools agreed to settle the sex abuse suit brought against it by former students. Simpson Thacher partner Phil Culhane must be doing a victory dance. [New York Daily News]

* You got a fast car, and now this case will pay all our bills. Toyota settled a class action suit over unintended acceleration, and it’s touted as one of the largest product-liability settlements in history. [New York Times]

* Ay dios mio! You know that you’re never going to enjoy another vacation when you catch a hotel employee spreading his seed all over your clothes. But what did you expect? It’s Mexico. [Courthouse News Service]

A former administrator at Vanderbilt Law School just got a hefty sentence after pleading guilty to theft and statutory rape. His boyfriend got sentenced too. How much time did they get, and what are some of the salacious allegations?

* My Big Fat Dewey Compensation Guarantee: it’s like a movie that no one wants to watch, except it’s happening in real life. But at least the partners got their draws, right? [Reuters; DealBook / NYT]

* Why didn’t John Edwards’s former aide disclose to the government that he refused to lie under oath about his affair? “Because you never asked.” Best. Response. Ever. [MSNBC]

* Maybe Mintz Levin didn’t belong on the list of the Top Ten Family-Friendly Firms after all. The firm’s been sued twice in recent years for sexual discrimination. Oops. [Careerist]

* Baylor Law claimed the top pass rate on the Texas bar exam for the fifteenth time since 2001. Unfortunately, Baylor Law cannot claim a top pass rate on disclosure of private student information. [Baylor University]

* In America, lawyers are pissing off state bar associations by offering their services on Groupon. En México, no es un problema. There, you can buy gift cards for the gift that keeps on giving… divorce! [Huffington Post]

* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters]

* Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News]

* As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg]

* As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN]

* Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]

* Vedel Browne has been charged in the machete robbery of Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. He faces up to 20 years if convicted, and with that sentence, we’re betting he wishes he got away with more than $1,000. [CNN] * ¡Viva México! These days, Mexico’s got more than just drug cartels, violence, and prison […]

Some major law firms might be closing offices, but others are in expansion mode. For example, Sidley Austin is opening a Houston office, with partners snagged from several other big players in town. And that’s not the only expansion taking place in the southwest. Take DLA Piper. When we last checked in with them, the […]

Lawyers, have you been looking for a unique way to do some self-branding? Of course, we don’t mean that you should literally brand yourself, but this Mexican lawyer did just that. She turned herself into a walking piece of art, and is now known as the “Vampire Woman” by her colleagues in the tattoo and […]

* A bill to repeal DOMA made it past the Senate Judiciary Committee, but members of the Senate don’t do dick (unless it’s in an airport bathroom), so it’s probably not going anywhere. [Blog of Legal Times] * Next on the gay rights news beat, after waiting around for 18 months, WilmerHale attorney Edward DuMont […]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 400 new jobs were added to the legal industry last month. Talk about progress. That’s like a fraction of a job for every successful bar exam taker. [Am Law Daily] * Biglaw firms in Washington, D.C. are racing to get more green. Sadly, we’re not talking about […]

* The Westboro Baptist Church has announced — on an iPhone — that it will be picketing Steve Jobs’s funeral. And now I have an Alanis Morissette song stuck in my head. [Los Angeles Times] * Price check on aisle seven. Price check on aisle seven for a divorce train wreck. People over in England […]

* Some thoughts from our colleague Matt Levine on the Justice Department’s opposition to the AT&T/T-Mobile merger. [Dealbreaker] * Judge Sam Sparks (W.D. Tex.), king of the benchslap — yes, we already covered his latest handiwork, so no need to email the “kindergarten party” order to us again — has blocked key parts of the […]