Morning Docket

* Remember how Trump promised that he’d “fight for” the transgender community while he was campaigning? Perhaps he meant that he’d fight to erase them. The Trump administration is reportedly considering defining sex under Title IX “based on immutable biological traits identifiable by or before birth.” [New York Times]

* Democratic senators in Washington are refusing to return their blue slips for Perkins Coie partner Eric Miller, a Ninth Circuit nominee, and Senate Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley is pissed. Slow your roll, Chuck. I thought we didn’t care about blue slips anymore? [The Recorder]

* About half of lawyers in the United Kingdom say they’re not ready to deal with Brexit. That’s okay. The United Kingdom isn’t ready to deal with Brexit either — and 40 percent of lawyers think their Biglaw firms will try to escape the UK because of it. [Am Law International]

* In case you missed it, Paul Manafort showed up at the Eastern District of Virginia on Friday afternoon in a wheelchair, citing health concerns as his attorney requested an expedited sentencing date. Manafort seems to have gotten what he wanted, and will be sentenced there on February 8. [National Law Journal]

* During his inauguration speech, the University of Virginia’s new president, James Ryan — a UVA Law graduate who once worked as a UVA law professor — pledged that tuition would be free for students whose families earned less than $80,000 a year. We wonder if that applies to law school tuition as well. [WTTF Fox 5]

* John Quinn of Quinn Emauel has no plans to step down as managing partner, no plans to retire any time soon, and no desire to do any succession planning (aka “an example of superfluous business school-speak that adds nothing”) for his firm. After all, the business of law “is a pretty dumb business.” [American Lawyer]

* Elon Musk has been sued by a Tesla shareholder in the Delaware Court of Chancery over his “erratic behavior” and the company’s board has been dragged into the suit for their alleged “gross mismanagement” of Musk’s Twitter antics. [Delaware Business Court Insider]

* If you’re in the Los Angeles area and you’re a fan of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, you may want to stop by the Skirball Cultural Center to see its latest museum exhibition, which will be going on until mid-March: “Notorious RBG: The Life and Times of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.” [Los Angeles Times]

* An expert witness says this Biglaw partner’s deposition tactics and demeanor gave him a health scare. “I felt like a prisoner before a Nazi-administered trial and became seriously concerned and stressed about what was happening.” [Law.com]

* Fix your gaze on this, pre-law students: If you want to learn how you can ace the LSAT, you may want to take a look at this study on eye tracking. [Berkeley News]

* Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke is the subject of no fewer than 14 separate corruption investigations. So he fired the inspector general managing the probes and replaced him with a political appointee. [Outside]

* Meanwhile, a Treasury official who blew the whistle on actual criminal activity was arrested. Good to see we’ve got our priorities straight. [Law360]

* While we’ve been talking about global firms invading the Houston market, V&E is looking to expand to New York, DC, and London. [Texas Lawyer]

* Former West Virginia Supreme Court justice found guilty. [American Lawyer]

* Why are all the bigots going into baking? [Courthouse News Service]

* White & Case has a plan to grow like gangbusters over the next two years. Meghan Tribe talks with the firm about this vision. [American Lawyer]

* President Donald Trump claims that Michael Cohen lied under oath when he testified that Trump told him to violate campaign finance laws and that the allegations are “totally false.” Cohen’s attorney, Lanny Davis, has some words Trump ought to be concerned about: “audio and tape.” [USA Today]

* “I can fire him whenever I want to fire him, but I haven’t said that I was going to.” In other Trump-related news, the president has confirmed that Pat Cipollone will serve as his next White House counsel, and also confirmed that he’s still really pissed off at AG Jeff Sessions about the Mueller probe. [Associated Press]

* In the wake of Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s highly political confirmation hearing where he brought up Clinton conspiracies during his testimony, Chief Justice John Roberts really wants the American public to know that the judiciary “requires independence from the political branches.” Really. He pinky promises. [CNN]

* If you’re interested in learning what junior partners are making at Williams and Connolly, look no further than Fourth Circuit nominee Allison Jones Rushing’s financial disclosure form. The 2007 Duke Law graduate pulled in more than $650K during her first year as a partner at the firm. [National Law Journal]

* This ex-Foley & Lardner partner “should have known better” than to backdate documents, paste his clients’ signatures onto them, and mislead the IRS during an audit, so he’s been suspended from practicing law for two years. [American Lawyer]

* Valparaiso celebrated earlier in the week after reaching an agreement to send its beleaguered law school to Middle Tennessee. Tennessee’s education officials have killed the idea of hosting another middling law school with extreme prejudice. [Chicago Tribune]

* Ninth Circuit judge displays deliberate ignorance in what appears to be a looming decision to keep college athletes out of court. [Courthouse News Service]

* Whenever you doubt the stupidity of humanity, remember people accused of global financial fraud tend to email each other explicit descriptions of what they’re doing. [Law360]

* Boies Schiller will act as special prosecutor in the Joe Arpaio appeal in what should be the easiest appellate layup ever. [The Recorder]

* Republican judge dismisses lawsuit against Republican politician. [Huffington Post]

* Jeff Sessions tells the Heritage Foundation that he doesn’t approve of this idea that courts might consider themselves some kind of “check” or “balance” on the executive branch. [National Law Journal]

* Ralph Baxter thinks Biglaw needs to change its business model to succeed. [American Lawyer]

* When you’re better known for your love of beer than your love of anything else, here’s the TMZ headline you get after feeding those in need: “JUSTICE KAVANAUGH SERVING MEALS TO HOMELESS … Hold the Beer, Please.” [TMZ]

* And in other Kavanaugh news, a group of witches will be holding a ritualistic event to hex the newly confirmed justice. Their goal is “to make Kavanaugh suffer,” and they plan to cast a spell and use effigies, coffin nails, and graveyard dirt to get the job done. [USA Today]

* President Trump defended his mockery of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, saying in his 60 Minutes interview that “if I had not made that speech, we would not have won.” When reminded that he was being a disgusting human being, he brushed it off, saying, “I’m not going to get into it, because we won. It doesn’t matter. We won.” [NBC News]

* Per President Trump, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell is “the greatest leader in history” because he’s so awesome at pushing through conservative federal judges with lifetime appointments. “Keep sending them our way, and we’ll keep changing the court system forever,” McConnell said. Brooooo. [New York Times]

* How do we know Pat Cipollone is the next White House counsel? “I haven’t named the new White House counsel, but over a short period of time. Pat’s a great guy. I don’t want to say, but he’s a great guy. He’s a very talented and he’s a very good man, but I don’t want to say.” You’ve already said enough, Mr. President. [Washington Post]

* While you were busy watching Kanye spew drivel in the Oval Office, you may have forgotten that he was there to watch the Music Modernization Act get signed into law to enrich artists. And by “artists” we mean the RIAA. [The Verge]

* The public service loan forgiveness program appears to be a total disaster. Glad we got 10 years of free public service out of those chumps who honestly believed the Department of Education would honor its commitments! [Law.com]

* Washington strikes down the death penalty as racially biased in application. [Washington Post]

* A reminder that Republicans used to support “sanctuary” laws because they objected to the federal government commandeering local law enforcement. How the times of changed… [Mother Jones]

* Cleary’s hired a chief talent officer to handle recruiting, retention and diversity and it’s a wonder more firms haven’t gone this route. [American Lawyer]

* Former Newsweek owner pleads not guilty in $10 million bank fraud scheme, claiming the charges are false and trumped up by Manhattan DA Cy Vance in retaliation over negative news coverage. This is the fundamental problem with Vance staying in this job: these charges may be legit but based on his history of high profile screw-ups, this retaliation defense sounds entirely reasonable. [Law360]

* Georgia sued over law that its Secretary of State is using to block new voter registrations from mostly minority citizens. For the record, that Secretary of State is himself in a tight race for governor against a black woman. Funny that so many minority registrations would get blocked like this, huh? [AJC]

* If you’ve been following the Adidas wire fraud saga you know they have more than their share of headaches. So they’ve hired a senior in-house person from Bayer. See what I did there? [Corporate Counsel]

* Middle Tennessee becomes the new home for Valpo students… subject to approval. I’m old enough to remember when Valpo adamantly denied they were in trouble? Ah, 2017! [Daily News Journal]

* Former Biglaw partner gets 5 year prison term. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* Litigation finance earmarking $50 million for women-led matters. [American Lawyer]

* A welcome development in the Robert Indiana case. [Law360]

* Who’s excited about class action fee settlements! [NY Times]

* Oh boy, it looks like we’ve got a new person to lock up. People who attended Trump’s MAGA rally in Iowa last night broke out into chants of “lock her up!” after the president wondered whether Senator Dianne Feinstein leaked a letter containing Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s allegations of sexual misconduct against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. [The Hill]

* Just because Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court doesn’t mean that student organizers at Yale Law are giving up. Yale Law Students Demanding Better will be entering a “new phase of advocacy,” by getting politically involved, registering voters, and joining grassroots movements. [Yale Daily News]

* Elon Musk hired Williams & Connolly chairman Dane Butswinkas to help him with the hot securities mess he’s created. He may have settled his case with the SEC, but a judge still has to accept their agreement and his tweet calling the agency the “Shortseller Enrichment Commission” might not help him. [Big Law Business]

* Keila Ravelo, the former Biglaw partner who pleaded guilty to tax evasion and conspiracy to commit wire fraud charges last year, will be sentenced today in her $7.8 million scheme to cheat her firms and clients. The government is asking for six years behind bars and three years of supervised release. [New Jersey Law Journal]

* Women have been treated unfairly in the legal profession for far too long, and maybe that’s why the number of women-owned firms has been dramatically increasing. As a partner in your own firm, the compensation will be fair, promotions will be merit-based, and no one is going to sexually harass you. What’s not to like? [Law.com]

* China’s got some new cybersecurity rules, and that’s probably bad news for American trade secrets. [Corporate Counsel]

* Laws haven’t kept up with criminal ingenuity. That isn’t surprising when sitting legislators are committing some of these crimes. [New York Times]

* An overlooked side effect of Keggy McGropenstein joining the Supreme Court is the creation of a new DC Circuit opening. Here’s a look at who might be filling it. [National Law Journal]

* Internal investigations can get a little close to covert government operations. And that’s the problem Paul Weiss faces right now. [Law360]

* American Lawyer examines the problems with origination credit. [American Lawyer]

* Lawyers want Bill Cosby’s conviction voided because… well they have a lot of wacky ideas. [NBCNews]

* Bad place for confidential client papers? Your front yard. [LegalCheek]

Ed. note: In honor of Columbus Day (and Canadian Thanksgiving), Above the Law will be on a reduced publication schedule. We’ll be back in full force tomorrow.

* In case you somehow missed it, Brett Kavanaugh, who is “totally brilliant” per President Trump, was confirmed to the Supreme Court in one of the closest votes in American history (50 to 48). He was sworn in shortly thereafter by Chief Justice John Roberts and the recently retired Justice Anthony M. Kennedy. [New York Times]

* It’s certainly worth mentioning that Chief Justice Roberts received judicial misconduct complaints from the D.C. Circuit about Kavanaugh’s hearing testimony, but he decided to not to do anything about them. Now, people are accusing Roberts of being involved in some sort of a Kavanuagh cover-up. [Washington Post]

* As Kavanaugh mentioned during his confirmation hearing, he’ll be the first Supreme Court justice to have four women law clerks. Counting his clerks, women will make up a majority of the Supreme Court’s clerks for the first time in history. Nice work, Justice Brett. At least he’s good for something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [National Law Journal]

* “The women are against her.” How did Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg become the feminist pop culture icon that we know and love today when she was almost bypassed for her SCOTUS nomination because women didn’t trust her? [New Yorker]

* We’ve got a situation! Jersey Shore cast member Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will be heading to federal prison for eight months on tax evasion charges. Expect his co-stars to starting referring to him as “The Incarceration.” [Courthouse News]

* Don McGahn may be leaving the Trump administration, but he still wants his Supreme Court nominee to be confirmed. Sources say it was the outgoing White House counsel who advised Judge Brett Kavanaugh to “show his emotions and true feelings” during his Senate hearing. [Wall Street Journal]

* And it was Judge Kavanaugh’s “emotions and true feelings” which led him to write an apology piece of sorts, where he admitted that he “might have been too emotional at times.” Not to worry, because we can still “count on [him]” if he’s confirmed since he’s an “independent, impartial judge.” [Wall Street Journal]

* Meanwhile, a procedural vote to limit debate on Kavanaugh’s nomination will be held today at 10:30 a.m., which will set the stage for a confirmation vote to be held. The final vote may have to be rescheduled to get a majority, however, because one Republican senator will be at his daughter’s wedding. [CBS News]

* Dawn Knepper, the former Ogletree partner who is suing the firm in a $300M gender bias suit, is speaking out about what motivated her to sue the firm in the first place, and whether she thinks the case will affect her legal career. [American Lawyer]

* “It’s absolutely shocking.” According to a new study conducted by two law professors and an economist, plunging law school enrollment between 2010 and 2016 caused schools to lose about $1.5 billion in tuition each year. Yikes… [Law.com]

* The FBI’s completed its superficial Kavanaugh report and there’s only one copy. Senators will take turns reading it in one-hour shifts. Is America out of toner? [Business Insider]

* Relatedly, former clerks are now calling for a thorough FBI investigation of Kavanaugh. [National Law Journal]

* New York will investigate the president for tax avoision. [Law360]

* Spider-Man gets law degree. [Legal Cheek]

* How are law firms so profitable? [Law.com]

* Federal judge halts immigration crackdown because, you know, racism from the administration. [Courthouse News Service]

* Daily reminder that the Big 4 are coming. [American Lawyer]

* “BREAKING: President Donald Trump repeatedly mocks Ford, who accused Kavanaugh of sexual assault.” When I got this alert on my phone last night, I couldn’t help myself but to blurt out, “F**k that guy.” That’s our president! Not sure why I expected more. [NBC News]

* According to Senator Mitch McConnell, the Senate will vote on Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh just as soon as the F.B.I. wraps up its investigation — which could be as early as sometime today. Gee, it’s almost as if they don’t care about what the results are. [New York Times]

* In the meantime, more than 500 law professors have signed onto two letters that will be presented to the Senate, each condemning Kavanaugh’s “lack of judicial temperament” and “lack of respect for our democratic institutions and women in positions of power in particular.” At least they’re trying. [Guardian]

* Sedgwick closed up shop sometime around the beginning of 2018, and the failed firm finally got around to filing for bankruptcy, and the court documents read like a Greek Biglaw tragedy. We have have more on this later. [Law360 (sub. req.)]

* Which Biglaw firm has the strongest brand? It’s not the firm with the highest revenue, and it’s not the firm with the largest headcount, but this firm has that certain je ne sais quoi that makes clients love their attorneys. [American Lawyer]

* Police questioned Brett Kavanaugh over a bar fight he and Chris Dudley apparently got into — wait, Chris Dudley? This whole “Brett + Alcohol = Violence” equation is becoming a pattern. And a pattern he lies about under oath. [NY Times]

* Department of Justice sues California over its net neutrality law. So much for states’ rights. [Courthouse News Service]

* Law firms are merging at a record pace. This should probably worry people more. [American Lawyer]

* This reads more like an exam question than real life. Is it a trademark violation to spell fiance as Feyoncé when selling engagement gifts? What if we add that they also sold stuff that references “Single Ladies”? [Law360]

* Sidley Austin earns less than the midlevel exception. Or about what Chris Dudley was worth. [American Lawyer]

* The Supreme Court is open for business. Will they further limit access to justice this Term? Probably, yeah. [National Law Journal]

* “SEC Suit Over Elon Musk’s Tweets Sets an Example for Execs Online.” Indeed: Don’t Date Grimes. [Corporate Counsel]

* President Trump asked the FBI to investigate the claims of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Deborah Ramirez, the first two women to accuse would-be SCOTUS justice Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault and misconduct, leaving out Julie Swetnick’s claims to the chagrin of her lawyer. [Wall Street Journal]

* So, just how limited in scope will the FBI’s new Kavanaugh inquiry be? Trump claims that the bureau has “free rein,” but no one who has contradicted the judge’s claims about his drinking and partying as a high school and college student are going to be interviewed. [New York Times]

* HLS is second best at feeling shame: Following student protests against Kavanaugh teaching at Harvard Law, the elite law school’s dean won’t come out and say whether the accused jurist will still have a job in legal academia come 2019. [HuffPost]

* ICYMI amid the Kavanaugh craziness, a judge ruled that the plaintiffs in Blumenthal v. Trump — the 201 Democratic members of Congress — have standing to sue the president for his alleged violations of the emoluments clause. [National Law Journal]

* That was quick! In the span of just a few days, Elon Musk settled the securities fraud lawsuit filed against him by the SEC, and the deal calls for him to pay a $20 million fine and step down as Tesla’s chairman for the next three years. [New York Times]

* Well… this crazy dude happened. [Boston Globe]

* As the hearing concludes, calls of “there’s no corroboration!” from the guys who prohibited calling any other witnesses. [Washington Post]

* But, don’t worry, we won’t have an FBI investigation because… Joe Biden? Somehow? Literally Grassley’s so addled and confused at this point that he can’t grasp basic context. [Politico]

* Anyone else notice that Brett Kavanaugh doubled down on that insane and discredited Ed Whelan theory? [ThinkProgress]

* He also lied brazenly and repeatedly, which in a sane world might speak to his overall credibility. But we’re in the darkest timeline, my friends. [Time]

* In other news, the SEC got around to charging someone! [Dealbreaker]

* Bill Cosby sued over unpaid legal bills. [CNN]

* Young lawyer saves man’s life. [Legal Cheek]

* Is anything going on today? [BBC]

* Anything at all? [USA Today]

* Dan Snyder and Cadwalader settle their massive malpractice suit so Snyder can focus full time on his team’s inevitably heartbreaking collapse. [Law360]

* Speaking of Washington’s football franchise, the heiress of its former owner is facing criminal charges for allegedly saying, “hurry up Jew” before beating a lawyer in the head until he bled. Lovely organization Washington’s got there! [Fox News]

* After months of bad press, America’s tech giants are calling for a federal privacy law. Or, more accurately, after California passed a privacy law, America’s tech giants are calling for a neutered federal law to preempt California’s. [Reuters]

* Since Rod Rosenstein might be leaving our public lives as early as today, here’s an in-depth look at one of his most bonkers cases. [Washingtonian]

* DLA Piper adds the former ambassador to Argentina as a special advisor. In other news, David Mamet’s son used to be the ambassador to Argentina? Was anyone else tracking that? UPDATE: OK, I feel vindicated that I hadn’t missed something huge. DLA Piper confirms that he’s not actually David Mamet’s son. I would’ve thought that would have been a bigger deal. [National Law Journal]

* Amazon’s commitment to screwing over its workers and leaving taxpayers to foot the bill runs right up to the NLRA line. But it’s cool since that law won’t survive Kavanaugh’s first year. [Gizmodo]

* Why PwC’s new Fragomen partnership is a big deal. [Law.com]

* The Senate Judiciary Committee has hired an outside counsel who’s an expert in sex crimes prosecution to question Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. She’ll be doing the bidding of Republican senators, while Democratic senators will do their own questioning. [CNN]

* That same SJC will vote on Kavanaugh’s SCOTUS nomination the very next day, less than 24 hours after Dr. Ford’s testimony concerning allegations that the judge sexually assaulted her. Everyone must be looking forward to the show hearing even more now. [POLITICO]

* But if Kavanaugh’s nomination somehow gets Borked or withdrawn on or before Friday, you better believe that he could face disciplinary action when he returns to his seat on the D.C. Circuit. A complaint has already been filed, but most are “dismissed fairly promptly.” Let’s see what happens. [Big Law Business]

* Should he stay or should he go now? Sources say Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein has no plans to quit and President Donald Trump’s advisers say he’d be willing to keep the DOJ’s second in command on the job. “The president is genuinely conflicted,” but no one knows if his urge to say “You’re Fired!” will be too great. [Wall Street Journal]

* Say hello to the China 45, a ranking of Chinese law firms with the highest gross revenue, revenue per lawyer, and profits per equity partner for the prior calendar year. When it comes to the firms with the biggest financial footprints, only one “American” Biglaw shop made the cut. Take a wild guess on which one it was. [American Lawyer]

* Amid reports (from Fox News no less) that Mitch McConnell does not presently have the votes to confirm Kavanaugh, the Supreme Court took the precaution of removing several contentious matters from their long conference agenda lest. They’re hunkering down for another couple months at 4-4. [National Law Journal]

* Speaking of that Fox News report, let’s be honest about what’s happening here: Kavanaugh is refusing to withdraw and McConnell is covertly asking the network to convince Trump to withdraw the nomination. [Fox News]

* Almost half of the top 15 firms in the Global 100 are the product of a transatlantic merger. Should your firm follow suit? Probably not. [American Lawyer]

* Linda Burrow leaves Boies Schiller to Netflix and chill and then litigate. [Corporate Counsel]

* Judge seems to think Stormy Daniels doesn’t have a defamation claim against Trump over one of his Tweets. [Law360]

* PwC makes a deal with Fragomen. The Big 4 invasion of the legal sector continues unchecked. [LegalCheek]

* Lost in the shuffle of everything happening yesterday, Bill Cosby’s sentencing hearings kicked off. [Courthouse News Service]